You May Think Your In Love But...

<p>.....let me ask you a question; for ladies and men; married and dating, especially for those who are younger and are not married. If your significant other was suddenly dismembered (lost a body part), horribly burned, paralyzed for life, or disabled in some way:</p>

<p>Would you still be with them and love them the same?</p>

<p>Would you still date them?</p>

<p>Would you still propose?</p>

<p>Or</p>

<p>Would you find the most tactful way to break up the relationship?</p>

<p>I've thought about this, and I was thinking, it's amazing how much emphasis society puts on physical appearence. I look at people who claim they're deeply In Love, and wonder how they would respond if the 'outer appearence' wasnt as favorable......This would haunt me..........</p>

<p>Honest replies please.........</p>

<p>Honestly, I would still be with them even if they were disabled in all ways. I am a strong believer in love being forever, and the soulmate theory. Love shouldn't change just because someone's physical appearance altered. If you were already with that person before and loved them, then the love should be strong and steady afterwards, especially if the significant other is going through that tough experience.</p>

<p>i have no idea what i'd do. as of now, i'm a complete cynic, and i honestly don't think most people would stick it out, unless they'd already been married for a long tiem. then again, i've never been in love, so who am i to judge? :)</p>

<p>I'm single, by the way.</p>

<p>Physical appearence matters in a relationship. Attraction is vital, and how someone looks is a large part of that. I do not think that it is shallow to admit to caring about physical appearence. If two people get married/move in/commit and then one person starts not taking care of him/herself and "letting go" (gaining a lot of weight, not dressing well, not shaving, whatever), I do not think it unreasonable for the other person to have a problem with it. A sudden and drastic change in physical appearence is not something the other person should have to deal with. However, that was regarding someone who has the ability and control to keep up with him/herself. A person who loses this ability (or something comparable... I've been dealing with looks but I just realized you mentioned paralysis as well, which is a lot different) by no fault of his/her own needs to be given more leeway. </p>

<p>I stand by the fact that the other partner still has rights, and they both have to make some hard choices. This is not simple. The "well" partner is not required to stay with and make no changes in a relationship with the hurt/sick/etc. partner, and society should not place that requirement on him/her. This is a situation between the two of them. </p>

<p>Losing the ability to have sex (like in the case of paralysis) is another issue, as well. In that case, the "sick" partner should make sure the "well" partner remains sexually satisfied. Sex matters. If the "sick" partner cannot/will not do this, then he/she should consent to the other partner engaging in an outside relationship in order to fulfill his/her sexual needs. Sex should not be trivialized.</p>

<p>This post may not have made sense, and I may have left some stuff out. But, you get my idea. The relationship will change, and there is nothing wrong with that. Furthermore, the "un-affected" partner is under no obligation to do what faery-tales say is the right thing to do. There are two lives here, and they both matter.</p>

<p>^ great post. exactly what I was going to say.</p>

<p>The funny thing is, about a year ago, for some random reason, my boyfriend went into a panic about if I would still date him if he went blind or lost a leg or something. At first I thought he was joking, but he was actually serious. </p>

<p>Anyway, I thought about it, and I would still love him the same, I think. Obviously I won't ever know unless something like that were to happen, but I don't think it would change anything. It might be weird for a little bit; I'd have to get used to it and stuff, but unless he changed a lot after the event and lost all of the traits I love him for, then I think we'd work through it. </p>

<p>Now, since it's been a while since I thought about it, I think I would try a little harder to make things work since more time has been put in and there's more involved now. Until something happens though, I have no idea if that's true or hypocritical.</p>

<p>Thanks, Brian. :)</p>