<p>This thought is for parents, but may strike a chord with kids, too. Though it seems obvious, the reality didnt fully hit us until DS came home this past summer after finishing his first year hes never really coming home again. Everyone here (me included) talks about how the kids really arent gone that long between breaks and a visit from you on Parents Weekend, but the fact is that they are basically on a college schedule and will probably never again occupy your home full time. We all plan for that when they leave for college, but I didnt truly understand what the in-your-face reality of sending my 14-year-old far away would look or feel like. Im telling you this as an older parent who is known in my circles as the least controlling, least clingy, least mother-type of the bunch. I had absolutely no qualms about BS last year, not one. I didnt cry at drop-off and, although I missed him, I placed that emotional cost below the value of the education and experience he was enjoyingand still do.</p>
<p>But heres the thing. This summer, it really hit me that even though hell be dropping in for brief periods, hes basically gone for good. At 14. At 15. Earlier than (it turns out) I was ready for. Sooner than I thought. Our family dynamic has changed forever. Now. Not later. He had an internship this summer that was basically a full-time job. It seems we barely saw him before he was back at school. I realize that that precious room at the end of the hall is basically just a guest room now, a place for him to land occasionally on his flight toward the true independence of his adult life. </p>
<p>I also realize that every child and every family is different. The way your family connects may not seem so interrupted by BS. Your child may not be quite as independent as mine; when s/hes home, s/he may be truly yours, and your old family life resumes as though s/he never left. That is not what happened to us.</p>
<p>So, whats the advice in this commentary? To parents who may be sending kids more than a drive away, Id say to think carefully about ALL the ways remote BS could/will affect your family, not just the terrific education it will provide your student. This is not a warning; we would embark again, but I wish I had better understood during the decision process the magnitude of this change, how much we would miss, so perhaps it wouldnt have hit me so hard when the light bulb finally did go on. Then again, maybe its just not possible to understand this until you experience it, and maybe sooner is better than later. Im not sure. I had no tears then but plenty of hidden tears now; only our cat understands. I wonder if I had known how big this hole in my heart could get, if I would have made a more selfish decision </p>
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<p>On the other hand, to applicants, I say that if you think youre ready for all that BS offersgo for it! Your parents will adjust.</p>
<p>Really.</p>
<p>Sniff.</p>