I have not been that active on the forum for a few months, either in reading or contributing to it…but I did a quick scan of the front page today and see that the latest wave of eager, optimistic, and relatively uninformed applicants seems to be rolling in.
I have seen this year after year. And every year dole out advice similar to this:
There is no "magic bullet" to getting into one of the more selective boarding schools in the US
With admit rates in the teens, your chances of getting into schools like Phillips Andover are not good
Starting many random new posts that indicate you have done little to no research about specific schools will yield little
Searching, finding, and reading the volumes that have been written here on CC about the most popular schools is smart...writing directly to the key contributors to those sorts of threads (assuming they are still active on the forum) is even smarter
Considering schools other than PA and PEA is wise
Applying only to PA and PEA is not that wise — if your goal is to attend boarding school (and not just PA/PEA)
Be strategic and remember : A school with a 35% admit rate is not a safety for anyone or a dive. These schools are the first choice for many, many students who have amazing stats .
And please share this with your parents: unless you have millions to donate (not exaggerating), boarding school admissions is a brutal, unpredictable process with uncertain outcomes.
Your child's legacy status will not get you too much more than some extra lovin' on visit days and in the school's correspondence. Don't be gullible.
Those sweet notes from coaches and admissions officers? Everybody gets them.
Your child's 4.0 and super high SSAT's? They mean a little, not a lot. They're more like table stakes these days. Nearly everybody offers these sorts of stats, whether academic, sports or both.
A school's needs change from year to year. If your kid plays a mean tuba or is the world's fencing champion, he or she might be an ideal admit in 2015 and of no interest at all to the School in 2016.
Be very careful if you're planning on blowing dollars on a coach to help your child with the application process. If there is even a whiff of "packaging," it's more a turn-off than anything else. Authenticity can't be faked and it's what the Schools want to see.
Your kid should be doing most of the work, if not all of it. They should do the research. They should be able to sit down with you and tell you why they like each School, specifically. This is also basic plumbing for the interviews.
Like @SevenDad recommended, there is much to research on this site and getting in touch with other parents of target schools can be enormously helpful.
Do not for one second let your child think that the only worthwhile options are the top 3-5 schools, whatever "top" means in your world. The top 30 schools or so are ALL amazing.
And don't make this about you and your ego. You will regret it later. If your kid comes to believe that you think only one or two schools are worthwhile, they will follow that thinking into the process and not only make bad decisions for themselves but struggle with outcomes that "disappoint" you.
This is likely the first time your kid will be judged by a third party, whom you are generally unable to influence. It is behooves you on many levels to let your kid know at the outset that you will be proud and happy just to have them get up to the plate, that grit being the best predictor of all.
Good points made by all and eagerly read by a mom who is now back-to-back in the admissions game with DD in it 2015-16 cycle (son was 2014-15 and is going to Choate).
. . . I can feel that familiar angsty feeling already. . .
No, I think it’s fine and apropos where it is; it builds upon @SevenDad 's excellent post.
I have pinned this thread to the top of the forum and request that any follow-up comments relate and/or expand upon the original post. In other words, additional suggestions regarding the application process are fine and welcomed; specific questions related to your/your child’s application are not. If a question needs to be asked, a new discussion should be started.
I guess I don’t understand the notion of applying broadly. If one can’t get into one of the top schools and/or their top choices, then why spend alll that money for just a prep school? Most prep and private schools are no better than top public schools
@Center - like the first post said from @SevenDad , if you don’t understand something, use this site as a resource to kick off your own research. Your question has been asked, debated and answered literally dozens of times by a multitude of parents.
@center the final point on @sevendad’s post says “if your goal is to attend boarding school”.
There seem to be 2 main “camps” on the board: the first will only consider 1-2 schools (the “go big or go home” mentality), but there are an equal number of kids/parents for whom attending boarding school is the goal (vs. attending A boarding school), and the advice given is especially helpful to this latter group.
I guess I misspoke when I said “I don’t understand.” London203, thank you. You are correct, the goal of the applicant certainly is a factor in formulating the best strategy.
While it is understandable to go for only a couple of top brand names, I hope they should understand that there are equally great schools to consider. Also if going to a top college is the main purpose of sending kids to top boarding schools, it wouldn’t work that way any more.
again, love the school that loves you. the admission officers know what they are doing and will know if you’ll be happy at their school. if you get admitted into a school you applied to, that means that the officers think that you will be happy there and have a good time.
Some EXCELLENT suggestions by SevenDad and ThacherParent. SevenDad’s first and second are particularly useful; this is why I’m not the biggest fan of the “Prep School Chances” section on this site. A child can be top of his/her class, captain of three sports teams, and student council president, and be rejected from all HADES schools. And the HADES or GLADCHEMMS schools, which are extremely selective and have good name recognition, may not be for everyone. Also, ThacherParent’s #5 rings true. As an alumni candidate interviewer, I’ve found that it is obvious when a student is coached and/or pressured by his/her parents to apply to BS. As Thacher says, “Authenticity can’t be faked.”
Think about your child; would they be happier near the top of their class in a “less selective” school (public, boarding or day) that had a strong program they loved in an area of interest (dance, equestrian, fencing), or in the bottom third at PE/PA? Which do you think colleges would be more interested in?
Fully half (!) the graduating class at the ultra-selective schools are in the bottom half of their class. They are all 4.0 95+ SSAT kids at entry. Their work is just as demanding, the hours just as long, and the outcome would have been debatably better at home or in a less selective school.
Think carefully what it will mean to spend 4 years at the ultra selective schools. For some kids it is spectacular, for some less so.
I would add don’t despair! There are spots for mere mortals - my B+ wonky scoring non-athlete squeaked in at a school with > 30% accept rate. (not a HADES but not hidden either) A few kids get in because they are just great, hard working, compassionate people. BSs recognize not every kid is a superstar straight off the blocks at age 13. Kids who follow their passions because they love to learn, who will have something to say in those small classes, and who will add something unique and positive to the school’s dorms and teams even if they are not playing Carnegie Hall and college level Lacrosse also get accepted. However, if you need FA then you truly need to spread a very wide net, and likely do need a special talent (that the school needs that year). And sometimes those kids with the perfect scores etc.are rejected not because someone else was more perfect, but because someone else was more personable. CC talks a lot about the scary high stats applicants need but those stats are only half the story.
Schools choose the kids they think will succeed at their school. If you come from a small town and have never been away from home, a huge ultra competitive school (PE/PA) probably isn’t going to be the place you will fit in best.
Admin reps know what they are doing. They have been doing this for a very long time.
If your kid doesn’t want to go there, they won’t get in. The child needs to want the school the same way the school needs to want the child. Its a two way street moms and dads
Look at every school! The crazy selective ones aren’t the only ones out there.
Don’t procrastinate when studying for SSAT/ISSEE. Studying can go a long way, we used Princeton Review
I resent the overwhelming negativity within this thread. Everyone starts somewhere in the application process and these types of threads can be very discouraging! From my brief experience as an applicant my only worthwhile advice is to go into the admission season with an open mind. You may at first have your heart set on a specific school and after your campus tour realize another school is a better fit. Since admission statistics vary from year to year, don’t stay up at night worrying over the B- you got in 7th grade. Whatever the outcome on M10, be proud of the amount of hard work you put in because it’s not about the A, WL or R, it’s about the person you are.
If any new applicants have any questions, feel free to DM me because unlike OP, I believe being uniformed is just part of the process.
" If any new applicants have any questions, feel free to DM me because unlike OP, I believe being uniformed is just part of the process. "
Say that again? My dad had a great saying: If you want to get someone mad at you tell them the truth.
@LaxPrep - Being uninformed puts you at a disadvantage every.single.time. Knowledge is power… or something and luck rarely has anything to do with it. I think if you read the OP again, you’ll see the wisdom.
I do, however, like the advice you gave about having an open mind. It is very wise for BS applicants to branch out and look at a wide range of schools ( beyond the usual suspects ) because you never know… a school lower on someone’s list can move to top spot in a heartbeat. I’ve seen it happen countless times but it won’t happen unless your heart and mind are open.
Of course I agree that being uniformed puts you at a disadvantage, but everyone starts with little to no knowledge unless they are legacies. If new candidates are too afraid to post “amateur” threads, they will never learn!
Besides not wanting to stigmatize the new applicants, my only other critism was about the pessimistic nature of how people were presenting tips. For example, although I believe humility is a very important virtue, I do not like the fact that some were implying that a 4.0 is nothing special. There are more positive ways to spin it such as “since many of the selective schools receive more qualified applicants than they can take, admission to a school is never a sure bet, even with a 4.0”
Hope you understand where I am coming from, thanks for the comment @PhotographerMom
