Hi, @KatieMu – I’ve been summoned to this thread by good folks who know that i have very much been where you are now. My S dropped out of an Ivy (Columbia) in the SECOND semester of his senior year. So, I get it, I really do.
So first, stay calm. It was pretty awful around my home, and a lot of tension–my H tried not to be angry, but didn’t always succeed. Remember your kid is the same wonderful person she has been the last three years, and her whole life. She’s not doing this because she wants to make you crazy, but because she thinks she can not be there anymore.
My S had had a painful emotional event a year and a half before he dropped out; he soldiered on, but he was just too unhappy to stay. He came home, worked at a fulfilling, good-works, but low-paying, job for a few years, and put himself back together. He lived at home, but paid board.
Six years later, he was ready to go back to school. I know that sounds like a long time. But he got himself accepted back by Columbia (not assured, because he did NOT arrange the correct leave of absence), got good financial aid, and did an amazing job of taking 20 credits while living at home and commuting three hours each day, ending the semester with a 3.8 GPA. He has a job in the nonprofit world he loves and has moved up in rapidly, lives a great life, and is the wonderful young man he always was.
Here’s the thread where I tell about his comeback: Hey! long time posters! Guess whose kid...
Look, I can’t promise you anything, of course. But I know the most important thing–love and accept your kid. Don’t issue edicts or deadlines. Help her make good decisions as she tries to figure out what to do next Trust her. Keep the lines of communication open. Love her.