An open motherly letter to all you awesome applicants posting Chances threads --

Prep School Admissions Prep School Chances
1

A quick word about chances threads. I understand the desire to find some order and predictability in this crazy, mixed up world of applying to boarding schools. I know it’s coming from a place of such hope and excitement. Bravo to you for caring so deeply about your future.

From where I sit, as a middle-aged woman with lots of years of life experience, I want to say that unfortunately the most important parts of your application, we cannot see. Things like your personality, your essays, your kindness, your sense of humor, your charisma, your quirkiness, your human-ness. (We get teeny tiny glimpses of this maybe in your posts, but really very little.) I promise you, schools are admitting people, not stats.

Imagine for a moment, I am setting you up a date. You tell me all about your job, your salary, your eye and hair color, your amazing house, and you tell me that you are a romantic, and that you love walks on the beach and you are outdoorsy and love the mountains. And then you ask me: will my date fall in love with me?

I can’t answer that beyond: well there’s nothing about you that seems to be a total dealbreaker.

The person I’m setting you up with also seems to be outdoorsy, and likes the beach too. So, it sounds like it’s at best a “maybe.” But can I with any sense of accuracy predict whether you will hit it off? No. I cannot. I can only say if there are things that lead me to believe that you won’t hit it off. I cannot predict chemistry. So I can predict “NO” and I can predict “MAYBE.” Nothing better than that.

Chancing schools is a bit similar. We can only say if we see red flags. That’s it. After you clear that hurdle, then none of us is really in a position to offer any prediction worth more than the coin we can use to flip.

I say this not to be discouraging, but to explain why often these chances posts don’t get the response desired, or any response at all. It feels fruitless to write back “no clue dude.”

I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from writing chances threads (heck there is a whole sub-forum here for them!). But just to right-size them. They are fun parlor games, with not much predictive value. The value is in: 1. The community eyeing some yellow flags that the wise OP would then mitigate and 2. Seeing you young folks smothering support and love on each other, which is my favorite.

Carry on, warriors.

PS. unlike with your own parents, you are welcome to ignore anything I say that doesn’t ring true for you.

2

Just like when it comes to dating, admissions officers have a funny ways of seeing things in you that you don’t even see in yourself.

3

Such a great post, @Calliemomofgirls !

I’d just add that for the schools, it’s like building a team or an orchestra, and we can’t see or know how they are doing that. But they can’t have only violins or goalkeepers.

And at BS, the kid who plays the violin may also be expected to do a couple of other things, so the best violinist may be passed over for the one who also will be on the robotics team or round out the tennis team… it’s like a big puzzle and you are a piece. But we don’t know what other pieces the AO already has.

What I will say is that no matter where you end up, BS or not, you will do well. You all are accomplished and ambitious young people who should be able to make the most of the opportunities you create and have.

4

Thank you! I needed to read this as my son is currently applying for a prep school in Michigan with just average grades. See my post on Greenhills, Ann Arbor.

Thank you, thank you!

5

very wholesome, very sweet omg. well said (:

6

Very well said. Completely agree.

7

And remember: there are so many good schools that don’t get much love here!

Don’t be disheartened if you feel only “average” after reading others’ Chance Threads.

8

I 100% agree with you, but I do have to say that it is kind of relieving when people say you have at least a chance, and I enjoy it. I think not being too reliant on chance threads would be a good middle ground.