http://news.yahoo.com/rape-case-sheds-light-elite-prep-schools-sordid-153655554.html
Great quote:: During a speech at family weekend at St. Paul’s in October 2014, Hirschfeld said the sexual assault allegation “has provided us with an important opportunity to reconsider elements of our shared life that do not appear in our strategic plan.”
That said, these cases can be murky and here on an online forum, reading the article, we are not in a position to judge this he said she said situation.
I would not say its a tradition in the manner outlined by the accused. Sounds like he and his buddies took it to an extreme that the vast majority of students did not and in a way that was never “tradition”. The term senior salute does exist but its basically a reference referring to “hooking up” with someone who is graduating- male or female, initiated by a senior or an underformer and “hooking up” can just be, and usually is, making out. It’s kind of like that last chance to kiss that person you had a crush on - sometimes more, but definitely mutual. What Labrie and his friends did was NOT the norm and there was no widespread competition other than he and a few of his friends. To call it a “tradition” is a misinterpretation of the reality on campus, but it sells to the media better and gives the accused and his attorney some form of an excuse by saying it was campus culture. That is not the truth and IMHO, paints the school in an unfair light.
There is no tradition of “taking girls’ virginity”, let alone keeping score. Students at SPS are well educated on the statutory rape laws. This is a case of a kid who is an ass acting like a complete ass - nothing “tradition” about it. Yes, consensual hookups, in their many variations, do occur on campus, but that is typical of high school life in many places these days. In this case, there is the issue of statutory rape and of forced rape. And the divinity school mention…puhlease!
One could question the wisdom of choosing Whitey Bulger’s attorney. His track record hasn’t been the best lately and seems like it might not be prudent to choose an attorney who hands such notorious criminals… it’ll be an interesting case to follow.
The Washington Post article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/08/17/as-rape-trial-begins-elite-st-pauls-prep-school-in-n-h-faces-sordid-sexual-scoring-scrutiny/.
Jury selected today. 11 males, 3 females. Let’s hope some of the male jurors have daughters so the victim can get a fair shake.
I think you’re selling a lot of men short by suggesting that unless they have daughters themselves, they wouldn’t believe the victim’s side of the story.
Ya, @soxmom, you are right. In fact, after doing a little googling, from some studies I read it seems like men are more likely to find defendents guilty in rape charges than women are. I stand corrected.
FYI, if anybody wants to weigh in, they’re having a discussion on the college parents forum.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1803082-prep-school-rape.html
The defense is… well, if I were on the jury, I’d be spitting mad at the defense.
I wonder if any of the jury members attended prep school? I think things which might seem Not a Big Deal to others, are a Big Deal at prep schools.
First, here’s an article from the Concord Monitor: http://www.concordmonitor.com/news/nation/world/18230976-95/opening-arguments-testimony-in-st-pauls-rape-case-will-center-on-consent.
The balance of power within the school community was extreme. As a dorm leader, accepted to Harvard, student-athlete, etc., he was in a position of authority over underclassmen. He was supposed to be working with the dorm heads, his fellow seniors and faculty to protect the younger students. He was trusted by others.
Being present in a locked, off-limits room with a student of the opposite sex (especially such a young girl) could have meant, at a minimum, that he would not walk with his class. Disciplinary incidents ARE reported to colleges.
I have debated with my own children what “hooking up” means. It is more likely than not that she understood it to mean a kiss at most.
His behavior, to me, can only be termed calculated and predatory. For the victim, as a freshman, she would have had three more years in the St. Paul’s community. Speaking up about the rape meant taking a chance that she would have to leave the boarding school community. Even when a student must leave for disciplinary reasons, leaving such a community is traumatic. He–a trained Prefect–would know the pressure she would be under not to say anything.
For her, the consequences of speaking up would mean having to find a new school in June, well past any application deadlines. It would mean leaving all her friends behind. Or, facing a time in the same community as the person who accused a beloved prefect of misbehavior…
My prep school graduates are using words like “despicable” to describe him.
Whether at SPS or elsewhere, “hooking up” among high school kids means anything from kissing to sexual intercourse, to everything in between. It doesn’t specifically imply sex.
Verdict reached:
I find that the felony conviction for “use of a computer to lure a minor” is a little bit of a dangerous precedent for BS kids. Basically, every kid uses text to communicate and some of those communications could involve solicitation of presumably consensual sexual encounters. I think that the jury didn’t think Labrie raped the girl, but didn’t really like the situation and and wanted some form of punishment other than the more serious rape conviction.
I think that he could face up to 11 years in prison for that conviction, so it is not a small matter.
Not sure where the felony computer use conviction will end up. I translate that one as the jury’s distaste with the whole situation of the “slay” list, the email invitation to other senior boys to participate in the “8 weeks of debauchery” etc., rather than the emails between Labrie and the girl per se. However, I’m probably projecting my own feelings about that situation in my assumptions about the jury’s thinking. I find the behavior of all of the boys despicable and sickening, and in some ways I feel like whether they did or didn’t have sex almost immaterial - he knew that he was pushing her a lot farther than she wanted to go, and he was doing it for sexual conquest and not for the sake of any relationship.
I don’t think it needs to be said that St. Paul’s most certainly does NOT and never has supported any kind of Senior Salute, no more than any other school would. It’s not the “decades-long tradition” that it was made out to be in the courts and in the media. The kids who were found to have participated in this were banned from returning to campus, ever, and the School rules clearly state that anything of this sort, or any possession of keys etc, is grounds for expulsion.
I think the attitude of these boys to freshman girls at St. Paul’s is a societal problem and not one tied to a “culture” at St. Paul’s that supported Senior Salute. The letter from the Rector after the verdict came out had a very good point: “We have learned that what was once termed “dating” or “courting” behavior has been inverted in some instances from our traditional sensibilities – sexual contact is now seen as the point of origin of many relationships, not a part of an emotionally developed relationship.” Despite how very painful this experience has been for so many, and for a school that I love and have chosen to send my daughter to, I am actually glad that the problems with this attitude were brought to light with this case. I fervently hope that the judicial acknowledgment that it’s wrong to view your female schoolmates as your personal sex objects has some effect, no matter how tiny, and that maybe something changes for some teens in the future because of this.
I don’t agree with you at all! I don’t think his behavior was “calculated and predatory”. What it was was a case of serious “senioritis” mixed with raging hormones and incredibly poor judgement. If any parent of a teen thinks “my child would NEVER do this”, they are living in a dream world.
I know many, many graduates of St Paul’s and even a faculty member. Two of my closest friends had daughters who went there 20-25 yrs ago and the sexual attitudes of the girls were nothing less than shocking; virginity was looked upon as something that one should quickly rid oneself of in order to be “mature” and “cool” - 20-25 years ago. Just imagine today! While the girl involved was a virgin, she was hardly a wide-eyed innocent - she told her roommate the sexual acts she was prepared to engage in with this boy, including oral sex.
No one but the boy and girl know what actually happened. But one thing is for sure, this boy’s life is totally ruined forever. Due to the federal felony conviction, he will have to register as a Sex Offender forever, and will also not be able to vote. No college will likely ever take him, even if he were lucky enough not to be sent to jail, which is highly unlikely. Getting a job? Really? And what about his mother - a divorced woman who has undoubtedly had to wipe out her 401K and sell her house for legal fees.
Yes, students today DO know the age of consent - schools do see to this. But very few have any idea that a flirtatious email with a bit of sexual innuendo from an 18 yr old to a 15 yr old in the same school, under the law is treated the same as a dirty old man in a chat room, luring a young girl for a sexual rendezvous. I seriously doubt that the lawmakers really intended it to apply as it has been in this case. I just spent an hour this afternoon talking to my 13 and 15 yr old grandsons about all this - they know students at St Paul’s, too. The younger boy has a late summer birthday and his parents held him back a year, so he will be 18 for his entire senior year and could be very vulnerable, legally, with any infatuation with a freshman or sophmore girl.
The bottom line is that when one puts young males with raging hormones, poor judgement and throw in a bit of insecurity, with young girls who think it is “cool” and “mature” to be sexually precocious, the possibility of a disaster is always about 3 seconds away. Wise old schoolmasters of days gone by, knew that boys and girls were best kept in remote locations in separate schools (both secondary and university) until they could mature enough to make good decisions. We know that the human brain is not fully formed until the mid-20’s. In college, one throws in drinking and 24 hour access to one another’s living quarters - no surprise that there are a LOT of problems that occur.
There were no witnesses and no forensic evidence to convict this boy of the 3 most serious charges. I think that the jury wanted to convict him on something. Whether this was out of a belief that he did rape her or the typical problems of town/gown relationships where students at such schools are considered to be rich, spoiled and entitled brats - who knows. I know that I lost all faith in the jury system after the OJ Simpson trial - jurors bring every grudge, preconceived notion and prejudice with them and act on them.
It’s a terrible tragedy to see a boy with such promise have his life shattered by one REALLY bad decision that in the end was a he said/she said situation. My heart goes out to him and to his mother.
Not just boarding school kids - ALL middle and high schools children who mainly communicate by email, Facebook or Instagram! Most have no idea of the risk and legal implications.
ONE bad decision? Let’s be realistic- countless bad decisions have been made, starting from the initial pursuit of the girl to the illegal securing of keys to the bragging about the sex (knowing she was 15) to the calculating denial about the sex to the arrogance he displayed to the investigators to the deleting of FB posts relevant to the case to firing his lawyer/s who could have had him plea to a much lesser charge. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the predicament he is now in, and if there is any way for him to truly comprehend the err of his ways and to choose an honorable path forward in life, I hope more than anything for him that he will get that opportunity. But his choices over these past 15 months have been abysmal from my standpoint.
This opinion piece is one of the best pieces of press I saw. It talks about how attitudes towards girls and women affects views of sexual assault.
@thatchcote With all due respect to you, I have to disagree. He was 18. Clearly an age to know right from wrong. Plus he changed his story multiple times. You have pity on him but not the girl? What if she was raped? No offense, but people shouldn’t pity him on the choices that he willingly made. We don’t know 100% what happened, but this was a traumatic experience for the victim as well.
“Just imagine today! While the girl involved was a virgin, she was hardly a wide-eyed innocent - she told her roommate the sexual acts she was prepared to engage in with this boy, including oral sex.” While yes, there are always some girls that are more promiscuous than others, be careful not to generalize.
All in all, if you’re going to pity Owen, definitely pity the girl. What he’s been through is nothing compared to her.
One bad decision is one hell of an oversimplification… Like classifying murder as “One bad decision.”
There’s absolutely no way of justifying of that situation. I’ve been in boarding school for a year now, and there’s a hookup culture here, like many of the boarding schools you’ll look at, but people here, as well as at most places, know where to draw the line.
I feel for SPS, I really do, because it’s a fantastic institution that’s been victimized by the media in all of this, but I don’t feel for the defendant here at all, it’s completely his fault in taking a tradition that was already bad even further to the point of rape.
One bad decision isn’t a defense… Just watched the Judge on the plane ride to America, that excuse there went down an ugly path.
I won’t address the facts of this particular case, but that sexual assault on campus is a serious problem for young women can not be denied. I can understand that many people don’t want to believe that someone who may have redeeming qualities can commit illegal, and despicable acts. Perhaps for some it is easier to believe it if the alleged perp is uneducated, poor, perhaps a minority or immigrant etc. - fits with preconceived stereotypes. People don’t want to believe that someone from a good family, with all the opportunities in front of him would push a girl to the point where it constitutes an illegal act. Blaming the victim is not new, and it probably will never stop.Unfortunately this is all too prevalent. Read John Krakauer’s book Missoula for another story of an institution with problems.
I have to say that when I hear stories like this, about boys who should behave better, behaving horribly, I think to myself, what gave these boys the idea that this type of behavior is ok? I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but to me it screams a mindset of entitlement and inconsideration of others that is really unbelievable.Do they think that they are so marvelous that girls/women are going to find it so thrilling just to be invited to “service” them? I will go out on a limb now, and be flamed I suppose, but as much as the girls are “willing” participants, I think most girls, even the college girls, would prefer, like the rector,that courtship or dating not begin with a sexual encounter. Yes, there are girls and women who are truly as free as many men, and do not care whether there is a relationship behind the sex, it is just that I don’t know any in real life. Also, engaging in sex just to be “mature” seems quite the opposite, doesn’t it. On the girls end I tend to think, where did they get such low self esteem?Ok so now I probably have gotten more than a few people mad…
My advice to parents of girls is to talk to the girls and make sure that they know how to tell if someone wants to be their friend and get to know them, or is they are only interested in sexual pursuits. Make sure you can talk to your kids about sex and relationships.