<p>My boyfriend and I, (I am a sophomore and he is a junior), are considering getting married when I graduate high school. I know that it is a stretch, but we want to know how much this would change our college housing options. We want to live on campus, not too far away from our home town of Hillsboro, Ohio. </p>
<p>I would also like to note that we aren't stupid. We know that there are chances that we won't last through high school, it's not like we're engaged, but we are in a serious relationship and want to be sure that getting married right out of high school is still an option for us, because we really want to have this option. It doesn't mean that we're engaged, and it doesn't mean anything else of the sort.</p>
<p>Also, I am an honors student and I don't want to go to some unknown college. I just don't know what to do, and it seems so hard to find the information that I am looking for. </p>
<p>And I am merely curious because, at our school, you need to know what school you want to go to by second semester of your junior year, and my boyfriend needs to know what his options are.</p>
<p>The main reason my boyfriend and I chose to wait until after college is because I want to stay on my parents health insurance as long as possible. Once you get married you are responsible for your own. </p>
<p>You’ll want to look at the specific schools you’re interested in. Some will have good married housing, other places will not. Be prepared to feel isolated and to have it harder than all your peers. For some people it may be the right decision, just make darn sure you know what you’re getting into.</p>
<p>We have thought a lot, in the past few days, about waiting to get married. Did you guys have any trouble staying together during college? Did you go to the same college, or different colleges? And was it hard to be apart?</p>
<p>We go to college about 20 minutes apart. We met early in freshman year and have been together about two years now. I think it’s just the right amount of distance for us at this point in our lives because we can see each other several times a week, at least once, and we don’t have as much difficulty trying to balance our relationship with other aspects of our social lives or academic pursuits. In fact, my first two years of college I had a car so I could see him whenever I want, and now I don’t and we are at the mercy of the bus system. I thought that would strain our relationship but I feel closer to him than ever.</p>
<p>We really did want to get married this year, but with further research into the insurance issues as well as other logistical issues it is just going to be easier for us to wait until graduation. I think it’s important to take the opportunity to grow that college offers and if you sequester yourself off into married life too soon you very likely cut yourself off from the opportunity to concentrate on your own personal development that college offers. You don’t have long in life to concentrate on yourself. I wanted both me and my boyfriend to have that opportunity at least while we are in undergrad, we are still young, I think that’s an important part of this stage of life. And I also think I have a duty to my future husband to be the best person I can be when we walk into our marriage, and I knew that right now I am not at that point. Furthermore, I would really like our transition into married life to go as smoothly as possible. While there are bumps in the road for every couple, I saw no need to put an added strain on us by trying to manage a new marriage and all of the challenges of being in college at the same time. I don’t think it would be fair to our relationship to put that kind of pressure on it out of what amounts to pure impatience. </p>
<p>Be advised that these are just my own opinions based on my own priorities and my own relationship. It may be different for you, but there are a lot of different factors to consider that you might not notice at first glance. So I hope that my input has helped in some way.</p>
<p>A side story worth mentioning… I had a friend who was with the same man from 7th grade to sophomore year in college. They were engaged at 17 and planned to get married, and we all thought they would get married even before then. But college changed them and as it turns out they discovered that they weren’t as right for each other as they thought. He had a baby this month with a girl he met his freshman year (they’re seniors, now), and she has purchased a house with the guy she started seeing just after him. Nobody likes to hear this story because everyone is always so sure they are different, but it is important to know that if it is meant to happen it WILL even if you wait. And by rushing things you run the risk of making a huge mistake, no matter how sure you may be now. The risk of things not working out is always there regardless of your age, but college is a time in most peoples lives that seriously changes them. It would be prudent to be aware of that and at least give it a year to see how things go, for your relationship’s sake. My boyfriend and I have both changed a lot since we got together and luckily we have managed to work it out, which is part of what makes me so sure that he is going to be the right one when I am ready to get married after I complete my bachelors. But it just as easily could have gone the other way. You just never know what you’re going to get, college has a weird way of changing everyone one way or the other.</p>
<p>Uh… sorry. Don’t get married right out of high school. I am a first year in college and am engaged. We have been together since I was a freshman and he a sophomore and PLAN on being together forever, but we both know it’s not definite. People change in college and the divorce rate for young marriages is something like 2/3.</p>
<p>That being said, don’t worry about married housing. When I was a sophomore and junior I was looking at married housing too. I realized that it was dumb because, to be honest, married housing sucked everywhere I looked. Plus it cost a lot more than regular housing. Just dorm your first year and then if you guys are still together get an apartment on or off campus. As an engaged first year student, I am honestly telling you this is the best thing to do. Take it or leave it.</p>
<p>Oh and heed Twisted’s advice. Remember when you get married that you have to get your own insurance, pay your own bills, etc. It is a HUGE PAIN. And please do remember too, that you are a SOPHOMORE. You are going to change a ridiculous amount over the next few years and you shouldn’t plan on anything right. Just work on high school, and wait a year and a half at least before you start seriously looking at married housing.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all of your advice, and I would like to hear more, because you have majorly changed both my boyfriends and my perspective on this issue. We have decided that we will be able to make anything work, no matter where we both decide to go to school. I think that we should still go to the same school, but I don’t think that we should have to get married to make it through college any more. I think that, if we still love each other, we will make it through anything.</p>
<p>But please, I want to hear more stories, and I want to know what all of you think, because I have little to no knowledge on this subject, and I want to do whats best to make the most of my college career and my relationship.</p>
<p>On a similar note, PLEASE don’t make your college choices based on one another. Do not go to a college just because he’s there or vice versa because one of you will probably be unhappy and it will strain the relationship. My fiance and I are at different schools and we’re doing just fine because we’re both where we want to be. He would regret it if he were he and I would regret it if I were at his college.</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s definitely important to both end up at colleges that are a good fit for you regardless of if BF is there. I go to a top 20 university in a decent sized city, boyfriend goes to a tier 3 or 4 school, I don’t even know which, in a totally different sort of area. I would have hated his school and not gotten as good of an education as I would here, and boyfriend would have been miserable living in Ann Arbor and in such a competitive environment. Educationally, we both have different needs. It’s important to not cheat yourself out of going to the college that is right for you, because there is going to be a lot more to your life in the decades to come than your marriage.</p>
<p>Well, we both have similar interests in schools, and all that he is interested in are good schools that I would consider indefinately for my own education without him. He has some wavering decision points, like he doesn’t want to go to Bowling Green State because it’s colors are orange and brown; he detests orange. But I have a feeling that the more we get close to making real decisions, those kinds of things will start to lighten up a bit. I mean, neither of us have such different needs that we have specific schools that we need to go to, I am competitive through grades, and he is very creatively motivated, but we both require decent acedemic requirements as well as excelent musical programs. I also want a great science program and he wants a good education program, which aren’t very odd majors. I think that we will be able to easily find a school that will match both of our needs.</p>
<p>What about financial aid? What if one of you gets a full ride at School A, but the other wants to go to School B? Would you turn down the scholarship? Would he? What if one of you wants to go to School C, but the other can’t afford it?</p>
<p>I am not trying to discourage you, I just want you to see as many of the potential obstacles as possible so that you can prepare for them-- it’s most likely not going to be as easy as you seem to think. If you do happen to end up at different schools it’s not the end of the world, I don’t want you to think it’s earth shattering and have one of you make a needless sacrifice over it.</p>
<p>I totally understand. And I’m not taking this decision lightly. I have a trust fund, and since a) I highly doubt that either of us would get a full ride to any school, b) we both have equal interests in all of the schools we have mentioned, and c) there are a lot of schools out there that meet our needs. We have about three that we are both very interested in, and hardly any that one is interested in and the other is not, and, depending on the amount of financial aid and/or scholarships available for each school and each person, we could probably make a decision.</p>
<p>And I’m not trying to come off as arrogant, I have put a lot of time and hard research into this. I am a planner, I like it when I know exactly how things are going to happen. I have probably thought about every possible situation. And I know we may not end up at the same school, and I know that wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I will try my hardest for the next two and a half years trying to figure out the best way to keep us together. We spend a lot of time apart that we shouldn’t have to because there are major trust issues between me and my parents, and I don’t want to have to live the way that we are living right now all through college, because, even though it isn’t killing us right now, it causes almost all of our fights.</p>
<p>But please, keep giving me things to think about. I want to know that I have this entirely planned out. I don’t like surprises. </p>
<p>And the colleges that we are considering and Bowling Green State University, Northern Kentucky University, and Morehead State University. They all fulfill all of our needs. I, however, have a preference toward BGSU and he to MSU. But neither of us are set in the places we want to go yet, and there is a lot of time for each of us to prove our cases.</p>
<p>Ultimately, you have to remember, that you are a sophomore. Things WILL change. I had a 4.0 in freshmen and sophomore years, then took 3 APs and my GPA fell to a 3.5ish junior year. You cannot seriously look at schools until your junior year is half over. I would wait until then to even think about this stuff. You have yet to take SATs, ACT, etc and really only have freshman grades to go off of. You need more stats before you can think about where you want to go.</p>
<p>Our school requires us to know where we want to go by the beginning of our junior years, just as a prerequisite. So, I really do need to be thinking about it. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say that, but it really is true. If you aren’t sure of your college and your major, they won’t let you take AP classes; they say that you haven’t applied yourself enough. They told my boyfriend that he had to have a list of colleges before second semester started, so that he could take Chemistry. I have taken it upon myself to do his research, mainly because he isn’t interested, and would rather not have to take Chemistry, but I know that he needs to take it and that he will regret it if he doesn’t.</p>
<p>Me, on the other had. I have to have a list ready for post-secondary signups, in a few weeks, because the school says that post-secondary is a waste of time if they aren’t sure the credits will transfer to the schools I’m considering. </p>
<p>That is why we are doing this research now. Like I said, however, I am a planning freak. I love to research about stuff like this, and I wanted to try to get as much advice as I can, to try to make an informed list, so that we are considered for our programs.</p>