<ol>
<li>I've rarely been close enough to anyone to really "connect" with them. Sure I have friends, acquaintances, even relatives. But I "know" and interact with them on certain levels, and I've come to realize that there are barriers erected between even me and my closest family members. The daily grind of life truly does interfere with the formation of any meaningful relationships. And my stubborn/aloof demeanor is probably also a cause. And perhaps the impersonal nature of our society lends itself to this problem as well (hell I'm ranting on an internet forum).</li>
</ol>
<p>And most importantly...</p>
<ol>
<li>Recognizing these regrets, while inwardly acknowledging that I have given up on, or will never begin to, rectify most of them.</li>
</ol>
<p>Not studying hard enough. I mean I did study hard, but I'm not satisfied with my GPA at all: 3.58. When I started high school, I never thought I'd ever get below 3.8. I'm trying to make myself feel better by reminding myself that I took a lot of tough courses these past couple of years (I'm graduating with 100 college credits), but I still feel like *****. I feel like if I had paid really good attention in class I could've done so much better...I'm so disappointed in myself. I definitely hit my low point in sophomore year when I got a C+ in math. Ugh, how I hated math. I had no motivation to do well at it.</p>
<p>I think I'm disappointing my dad too. Back in middle school I got straight A's quarter after quarter and he probably had this expectation that I was going to do the same in high school. And my parents really wanted me to speak at graduation, but only the top 5% do that at my school...I would've loved to do that.</p>
<p>Now I'm actually not really looking forward to graduation. I'm going to be regretful throughout the whole thing.</p>
<p>Hating my school, the people in it, but most of all, myself - prevented me from studying/caring about school. I don't give a **** as a defense mechanism. I have a sense of self-entitlement that tells me I can make something of myself without doing well in school- A lazy excuse. That I use constantly. </p>
<p>So here I am, the end of my junior year. Having to choose between ****ty state schools. I am THE EXPERT of all things self-destruction.</p>
<p>Then coming on here, and see all you ******** complain about 3.8 GPAs and wondering if you'll get into Yale.</p>
<ol>
<li>Procrastination </li>
<li>Disorganization</li>
<li>Getting distracted when I had work to do</li>
<li>Spending too much time on the internet :p</li>
<li>Not spending enough time with my friends</li>
</ol>
<p>I should have been more open to meeting new people. I love my old friends to death, but while they go out with new groups of people...I find myself wondering why I don't have any particular 'group' of my own.</p>
<p>I like this thread, it lets me prioritize some things while reading about other people's sufferings to make myself feel better about my crappy life. :D In a way, we're helping each other.</p>