<p>Our son is approaching his 18th birthday, and we want to do something to make it special (that doesn't cost a lot!) but here is our dilemma:</p>
<p>Most of his male friends have recently discovered alcohol and pot, and our son is straightedge. So, he says that they won't want to go to a party that has no drugs/drink. (In fact he is really bummed that they no longer seem interested in hanging out, playing video games, etc.) He has lots of female friends but most of them are ex-girlfriends so they obviously won't mix.</p>
<p>Even if we can decide on just a few friends who will mix, what on earth do parents do for birthday parties? Do 18-yo's still have birthday parties??? (dumb question, I know...) Having a party at our house is not an option because we got flooded awhile back and it's still getting the floors redone and is not yet presentable.</p>
<p>A) a family party with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.</p>
<p>B) a special event for your son and one or two good friends, like a play or concert, or overnight stay at hotel with waterpark? Depends on your son's interests what kind of event he would enjoy. Prehaps something more active like bowling, golf or lasertag? </p>
<p>Main thing is ask your son what he thinks would make a special day, it may be much different than what you expect, and you should honor his wishes even if they seem odd to you.</p>
<p>Thanks for the suggestion. Sadly, A is not an option because he has no grandparents, and no family that cares about him other than his parents. :-( We are it. That's why we spoil him.</p>
<p>Aw, you are really a sweet mom! No wonder your son turned out so well.
Well, what I recommend is asking him what he would like to do...
Here are some ideas though: maybe arrange a short day-trip for him and a friend or two. Tickets to an amusement park, to a concert (we kids LOVE concerts), etc. Or, if you really want to have a party sort of thing, why don't you take him and some friends out to dinner at a nice restaurant? Restaurant parties are always good, especially with ravenous teenage boys. Try Benihana's or a similar place (perhaps go for a less expensive place. Food is food!)</p>
<p>Now there's a good idea. He's a metalhead and doesn't go to all the concerts he'd like, and his friends usually don't have $$ to go. thanks</p>
<p>I wish there were some non-alcoholic 'clubs' where teens could hang out and listen to music, dance, whatever. There don't seem to be any. There are just game arcades and adult bars. Why isn't there something in-between?</p>
<p>Lealdragon, you are amazing! I, too, wish there were places like that just to hang out and chill out. Home and friends' houses will have to do for the time being.
Metal concerts sound like they would be intense! But there are a lot of popular metal concerts/festivals...just as a suggestion for the future, get him tickets for Warped Tour or Ozzfest...those are extremely popular!</p>
<p>I think the concert is a great idea. Son's gf's parents sent 4 kids to a concert with a limo driver (concert was 2hrs away and they didn't want kids driving home that late---plus her boss owned limo co and got a cut rate deal). Another friend got pro sports games tickets for her son and a couple friends. If he likes some kind of activity like skiing, white water rafting or something else you could treat for a small group of his friends?</p>
<p>Well he goes to concerts anyway, so it wouldn't be a new thing. But usually it's a problem finding a friend who has $$ to go, so if I paid for the friend too, that might be a nice treat. If there are any good ones around the time of the birthday, that is.</p>
<p>I'm posting this on the homeschooling forum because I'm wondering if other parents of homeschooled teens have run into the problem of their friends getting into the party scene. It's always been a challenge keeping an active social life being homeschooled, but I hadn't really expected this problem. </p>
<p>I remember the kind of high school parties I went to in high school, and that is one aspect of high school social life I'm glad my son does not want to be a part of.</p>
<p>He's been to a few parties like that. What had started out just hanging out & playing video games or D&D devolved into drinking and pot smoking. My son said he was the only one sober. He didn't so much mind that, but the 'friends' did not seem to be able to handle him not partaking in their activities. There was a loss of bonding. That's one reason he is looking forward to college - maybe there will be SOME straightedge people there. I'm sure there are SOME here in SA, but how to find them?</p>
<p>I'm sorry to sound so negative, but we have a real dilemma because our house is really not presentable to have people over (due to us getting flooded awhile back and it's under construction, and embarassing to tell the truth). He does hang out at this one friend's house, but all the rest of his friends have parents who are ridiculously unreasonable - 1 set of parents demands that the friends leave by 9 pm (on the weekends!) or they're not there at all and it turns into a drinking-drug scene. It seems that the only friends who have homes open to get-togethers are the ones who have parties just to get wasted.</p>
Metal concerts sound like they would be intense! But there are a lot of popular metal concerts/festivals...just as a suggestion for the future, get him tickets for Warped Tour or Ozzfest...those are extremely popular!
</p>
<p>Woah, woah, woah. I don't know what sort of "metalhead" he is - nu-metallers tend to be lumped in with the group - but those two tours aren't exactly metal tours. Most of the largescale "metal" tours really aren't metal with the exception of gigantour and a few others. </p>
<p>Sorry, no offense meant, but as a metalhead myself I tend to bristle a bit when Ozzfest is referred to as a metalfest...</p>
<p>Hey thanks, Nevermore. You and my son would get along great. He's always getting on my case for getting genres wrong. I mean, ALL the time! He explains to me the distinction between black-metal, death-metal, melodic death metal, Gothenburg metal, etc. I'm not sure how exactly he would catagorize the older bands like JP and Metallica, but to me they are most definitely metal.</p>
<p>I'm old-school (grew up with JP and BS and Zep, etc). I can't remember all the genres so I just go by what kind of mood it evokes in me. For example, purists insist that Cradle is not really black metal since they 'sold out' but personally I love their lush, melodic stuff more than their early stuff. So I don't really care what genre it would be now, but wow, my son is really into quite precisely identifying the exact genre.</p>
<p>He's did Ozzfest last year and didn't like it. He went for bands like Archenemy (whom I can't stand because of the vocals) and In Flames (whom I do like and have seen) but they were on the 2nd stage and it was just awful how they started the show before the people even had a chance to get from the other stage. Too many bands crammed in. It's usually a better show when it's the band you want to see and all the fans are there to see them, not just go to a festival to party.</p>
<p>We did Van's just to see AFI but they only played 30 min (as is the norm for Van's). Van's, as I'm sure you know, is mostly all punk bands.</p>
<p>Anyway thanks for the clarification. I am curious how YOU define metal, btw!</p>
<p>That's awesome! I wasn't quite sure how familiar you were with metal and just though I'd make the distinction in case your music tastes didn't exactly line up with his. I'm pretty sure my parents aren't quite so knowledgeable about metal. </p>
<p>How do I define metal? Heck, the genre continues to surprise me with its versatility and variety. Old metallica (pre-black) and Judas Priest I would definitely consider metal and certain Black Sabbath albums as proto-doom. </p>
<p>Black metal is a pretty broad subgenre, spanning from the more symphonic (Cradle of Filth and Wallachia) to atmospheric (early Arcturus) to more raw stuff. Black metal gives off such a ridiculously silly image. Bands take themselves too seriously. I mean...go look at a picture of immortal. How could you not laugh?</p>
<p>Archenemy's first vocalist was better than the lady they have now imho. In Flames has had its better and worse albums. Lineups this year for many tours have been below par I think. </p>
<p>And this is getting off-topic. </p>
<p>Regarding his birthday, no suggestions really. Plus, I'm a girl. Doubt he would enjoy a shopping trip or a sleepover. As for metal though, maybe look into a rarer or more underground band that he likes and wouldn't otherwise get the chance to see? Might require a bit of traveling by car or something. Tickets for those would probably cost less too so you could bring more friends. Eh, I don't know, all depends on what he and his friends like.</p>
<p>I turned him onto JP & Metallica when he was about 13 or 14. Now he has turned me on to Children of Bodom, CoF, Dark Tranquility, Gojira (all of which I love!) and many others. I don't like the harsh vocals (as in AE) of many of the bands he likes. I can tolerate Alexi's because the music is so stunning, and Dani really does put a lot of emotion into it, so I actually like his voice. I love some In Flames but not all of it. Oh, I could talk all day about music, but I have to get to work.</p>
<p>I keep telling my son that he should join this forum. He doesn't meet too many female metalheads!</p>