1st Year Parents' Support Thread

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
21

<p>Just back from driving through the torrential rains to Hartford. DC is in his dorm with 4 live-in faculty, 8 junior prefects, and 40 freshman boys. It’s a hard, hard thing to hand off your man-child, but his time at the summer program with other incoming LC students really smoothed the transition. One of his best buds from EXPLO is just a door down, another on the floor above, another on the floor below. </p>

<p>Schedule issues all settled, though his is ambitious and I know the level of rigor is going to be a surprise. Such a great community, though, it was so easy to talk to the Head of school, the director of studies, DC’s advisor–who also lives on his dorm floor with only 12 other boys–the freshman dean, the Admissions director, Dorm Head, etc., etc. We were immediately extended a place to stay on subsequent visits by a mom of a freshman girl we met on revisit days.</p>

<p>It might sound unusual here, where I often feel like there’s so much needle splitting over what distinguishes all of these great schools from one another, but one of the things I REALLY like about Loomis is that on some level it comes off as very “ordinary”; the rigor is there, the facilities and human resources are all there, but there seems to be a very grounded sense that this is high school, and kids will work hard, but they’re high schoolers. It seemed like the polar opposite of pretentious.</p>

<p>Now on to figuring out life at home…that I’m still overwhelmed by. Strangely quiet.</p>

22

<p>Right there with Exie, pulling stuff out of the suitcases to make the 50 lb. limit :smiley: --but my kid had to do a bunch of rearranging at the airport in June when his checked bag was 7 pounds overweight, so we now err on the side of caution.</p>

<p>So after a year of this (wish I’d figured this out before I just sent son and his stuff off to school today…), I thought some of you first-time parents might benefit from my pricey mistakes when sending packages to my son at prep school back East</p>

<p>The Big Boxes:</p>

<p>Paying extra baggage fees (the regular ones, that is–not the overweight fees), annoying as they are, is always the cheapest way to go–provided, of course, that dear child is able to get 2 huge bags and miscellaneous carry-ons to the school shuttle. </p>

<p>When sending a box, USPS has been consistently cheaper and faster than UPS --I just sent a 50 lb. box UPS, and would have saved money and hassle by sending it USPS. Old habits die hard–I remember the days when UPS was both nexpensive and fast, but that’s no longer the case, at least from our location (Midwest). I’m sticking with the P.O. from now on. (From our part of the world, FedEx is insanely expensive, so I have no experience with them.) </p>

<p>Note: This experience with USPS is sending Parcel Post, not media mail, which is, I think, what Exie was trying to do. Media mail has become very restrictive (even those test prep books probably wouldn’t fly because you write in them), but clothes, scarves, etc. can all be sent parcel post. Media mail are the only boxes the post office open regularly to inspect. (I’m an ex-homeschooler, and I’ve sold off lots of my books, so I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to about media mail)</p>

<p>Care packages:</p>

<p>Again USPS has proven cheaper and faster than UPS. And, unless you’re sending something very light, those flat rate boxes are nearly always a better deal than packaging yourself. I also like that I can stuff anything I want in there–from toothpaste to books–without worrying about weight. And that the p.o. provides the box and I can pay for and print the label on my computer and just drop it off.</p>

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<p>Exie:</p>

<p>Have you looked into USPS airmail M-bags? Printed matter, up to 66 lbs, for $28.60. <a href=“https://www.usps.com/ship/airmail-mbags.htm[/url]”>https://www.usps.com/ship/airmail-mbags.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>As an alternative, depending on country, you should look into using Amazon. I have sent gifts to friends in Europe through the local Amazon. Links to these Amazon branches are at the bottom of every Amazon page (China, Japan, France, Germany, Italy, UK.) It could well be cheaper and faster to send an SAT study guide from the local Amazon, than to ship from the US.</p>

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<p>Amazon’s also great for sending snacks–granola bars, Emergen-c, pop tarts. I sent them by the case to my hungry boy for study snacks using Amazon’s subscribe and save–15% discount and free shipping. You can unsubscribe quickly and easily as soon as you’ve placed your order if you want, so there’s really no hitch. Way cheaper than sending the equivalent from home.</p>

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<p>Absolutely! I didn’t bat an eye at paying $35 to send another 50 lbs. of stuff across the country!</p>

<p>My son, meanwhile, couldn’t fathom why we would ever need that many bags . . . until we started packing and he discovered that all of his clothes, shoes, etc. still didn’t fit! :D</p>

26

<p>@ Periwinkle - I’m hugging you right now! (and yep - discovered Amazon in her country just started up and has limited items but does indeed have prep books). Apparently the country has a history of package disappearances. Even USPS has a long …LONG… list of things it won’t allow me to ship there (including anything sewn clothing and shoes). I’ve been monitoring her debit card and the foreign exchange fees have been cheap so I told her to go shopping for winter clothes with my blessing. </p>

<p>But thanks for that link. There are some books I can’t get through that country’s Amazon so I’ll ship them. That’s a price that allows me to maintain my dignity.</p>

<p>@Classicalmama - some items on Amazon are subscription and will ship automatically unless you tell them not to. We discovered some of her favorite treats and teas were that way and in a dorm - you know - food disappears as fast as mist on a hot day. So we send enough to share and hoard at the same time.</p>

<p>@Dodgersmom - waving at you from yet another soggy location. As promised - this is your two week check-up. Miss him and the frequent calls yet? :slight_smile: (Fess up - I myself am grieving)</p>

27

<p>Am feeling quite lucky reading all of your posts. D is about 30 minutes away in good traffic (1 hour in morning traffic). I have already been back to school to deliver the field hockey goalie bag. I don’t know if we’re organized enough to live any further away!</p>

28

<p>@SevenDad: Were the dorms in St. Andrews big enough to fit all of DC’s things? Was it spacious?</p>

29

<p>@rizzle: I would not say the average room in the SAS girl’s freshman dorm (Pell-Moss) is by any means large. Nor is it all that modern/renovated.</p>

<p>But we knew that going in (from tours/revisit). And, as I’ve noted in other threads, her room at home is neither large nor all that modern. So it’s not that much of a change/step down. We didn’t put a premium on having a large, brand spanking new dorm.</p>

<p>That said, the beds have enough space underneath to accommodate a trunk/footlocker, so there’s a lot of room for storage of stuff that doesn’t need to get hung up. We bought one of those “add-on” hanging bars for her small closet area and it really helped out. She has just enough room for a few dresses, then uses the top bar for shirts and the bottom “add on” bar for skirts/nicer pants. Seemed to all fit pretty well. When we get into winter and she has a wool overcoat and a ski jacket instead of a shell and a field coat, that will start to get a little tricky…not too many hooks that aren’t taken up by a towel or a robe.</p>

30

<p>Forgot to report that SevenDaughter claims to be “starving” after practice and study hall…quickly going through the stash of sweet and savory snacks we brought down for move-in. She also reports that wardrobe we built (adding to the interview outfits from last year) over the summer working out well. Good mix of pants/skirts/dresses and getting many compliments. Pwhew!</p>

31

<p>Well I wish I would hear from my DC:( I’ll wait it out this week end. I see from FB that he’s made many new friends at his new school but still no email or call to his parents.</p>

32

<p>Missing my boy too, even though it’s only been a day, and we’ve talked…Just not the same as having that big hulking body taking up space on the couch. :(</p>

33

<p>Dropped off my son yesterday. Although I harrassed him for weeks to go through clothes, do laundry etc., and organize, he put it all together at the last minute. Now the texts start… I need… I can’t find… The good news is that he is thrilled and meeting some great people.</p>

34

<p>Talked to another friend tonight whose DC is at yet another school. Exact same thing about suddenly realizing everything they DON’T have, and expecting parents to instantly make it appear. I gather that evens out after a short while…</p>

35

<p>My kid, blessedly, is currently in “aahhh, I didn’t really need it that much” mode…hopefully that will last until parent’s week-end.</p>

36

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<p>As mature and independent as they’ve become . . . isn’t it wonderful that our teenagers still believe we have magical powers? :)</p>

37

<p>I ran into a friend in the grocery store last night. We both agreed we must be suffering from the empty nest syndrome. I teared up last week when I watched a mom put her kindergartener on the school bus on the first day of school. My friend envied a frazzled mom car pooling half of a soccer team to practice. We laughed at how much less we had to put in our grocery carts. I’m not used to a gallon of milk actually lasting through the week!</p>

38

<p>We delivered GMTplus7 son at GMTminus5 school. Son was apprehensive about not having any friends at new school halfway around the world-- well that worry lasted about 2 seconds. The returning kids were so nice and immediately brought S into their fold.</p>

<p>The defining moment came when we approached S at the breakfast table with his new friends and he sent signals that he wanted Mom & Dad to make themeselves scarce. Then we knew he would be OK there.</p>

39

<p>@Warriorboy,</p>

<p>“Although I harrassed him for weeks to go through clothes, do laundry etc., and organize, he put it all together at the last minute.”</p>

<p>Do we have the same son?</p>

40

<p>We took our oldest child to boarding school last week. In the busyness of the preparations, and with the knowledge and excitement that it was a great opportunity for her , I don’t remember experiencing any feelings of sadness until— we were driving away from the school. I was taken off-guard and was suprised at how sad I felt during the drive back to the hotel and for the rest of the day. Since we live hundreds of miles from the school, I know I won’t see her for at least 6 weeks, and maybe as long as two and a half months.</p>