Best wishes to @embracethemess and @runnersmom and their families for good weather and wonderful weddings!
We are wearing our finery as well, both D (a bridesmaid) and I will be in long dresses. Thankfully I settled on my dress right before the pandemic started, and the one I chose is sleeveless!! The bride and groom have given us their blessing to change into cooler clothes after the ceremony and photos, if the weather is too hot to be comfortable. But I really like my dress and want to get my money’s worth, so we’ll just see how it goes. Thanks everyone for the good wishes and back at you @runnersmom!
We met son and his fiancee on Sunday for the first time since their engagement in late February (we met at a nice vineyard in Maryland, about an hour from DC ( where they live, we live in Va) so easy to social distance. We were supposed to see them in April but didn’t when the virus hit). We got to see the engagement ring in person (beautiful). Also, his fiancee showed me pictures of wedding gowns she is considering. It was a great visit.
The big news revolved around the wedding plans. The original plan was spring 2021,but now the big wedding will be spring 2022. However, they are anxious to be legally wed, and plan a small wedding outdoors in DC with only a few of their local friends . They say it will be very brief, there will be a videographer but no zooming in real time. And we are not invited! Because all of the bride’s family is all a long plane ride away from DC, they would not be able to attend and bride says it would be too sad for her to not have all the parents there. The dad and step mom are both physicians and can’t fly right now because they are both over 60 and are also concerned about their patients. My son asked me how I felt about not being there- I was not about to lie so told him I was very disappointed, especially since we are within driving distance and could come. His fiancee is in health care herself so part of it seems to also be that we are also over 60 and she worries about us and Covid with attending a gathering in October, before a vaccine. This is what they want so we have to support it. But, I will admit to feeling sad that I will miss the first, small wedding of my son.
The good part, I guess- no need to worry about a dress for October, or hotel and restaurant expense in DC!
@sevmom I would be sad and disappointed as well. Curious of what’s the rush? Can they wait until maybe few more months and maybe ‘Rona will slow down after the year’s end?
@2018dad The bride is in health care ( she’s actually worked in one of the testing sites.) She is very nervous about people becoming infected if they attend a gathering for them (particularly the older folks). She just doesn’t think things will improve enough soon to start making big plans yet. The very small outdoor wedding will be in October before the weather gets colder. They have been together about 4 years, are excited to become husband and wife. They definitely don’t want to have a 2+ year engagement. And they want to be married for awhile before starting a family, not wait until 2022 to even start that timeline.
We get along very well. They even asked me if I have any additional ideas for potential wedding venues to look at for 2022. They still want a wedding, with dad walking the bride down the aisle, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, wedding dress, the whole thing. They are positive people but admit to being sad that their engagement and planning has been so effected by this pandemic. They have both been in a few weddings, have been to tons of friend’s engagement parties, showers, weddings, etc. . Their experience so far has been quite different but they are still excited! They just are ready to be husband and wife and don’t see a reason to wait since things could still be quite uncertain for quite sometime.
@sevmom I have a good friend here on the east coast whose S & DIL did the same thing in CA this spring. No family, no video. Although I think a friend may have taken some video on their phone which got uploaded to Facebook along with photos after the marriage. The bride has health issues so they too are postponing the big celebration until post-vaccine and didn’t want any family members to feel slighted about not being there for the legal ceremony. They didn’t want to wait to get married because she is self-employed and he has great health insurance benefits and with her health issues it made financial sense to make it legal now. My friend said she was totally ok with it, but I get your disappointment. Focusing on the real celebration yet to come is key!
Thanks @Embracethemess . I think part of the disappointed is that, unlike your friend on the east coast with a son getting married in California - we are within driving distance (about 3 1/2 hours away) from where they will marry in October. So, we could get there, wear masks, social distance, etc. No flight necessary. So, we could go and even leave directly after the ceremony. But, it is their decision so I will have to be okay with it. I understand it but I am still disappointed. And definitely looking forward to the ceremony in 2022!
Sevmom, my youngish friend did the same thing. They got married by a justice of the peace, as his family couldn’t drive here. Her 5 siblings and parents are local, but they didn’t wish to hurt his parents’ feelings.
I wish for your sake, they’d let you be there, and Zoom for the other parents.
Thanks @bookworm It’s a done deal so I don’t intend to bring it up again. If they lived close to the bride’s family, I would expect the bride’s family to be able to attend , even if we couldn’t because of not wanting to fly right now. I would be sad to not be able to go, but would hope it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if the bride’s family could. It will all work out, just differently than expected. I would never have imagined not being able to see my son marry.
@sevmom Yes, I would also be very disappointed but I think you have the right attitude – this is all such a difficult, unprecedented time and there is no obvious right or wrong answer to anything. Hopefully all of us parents of “pandemic bride and grooms” will be able to celebrate in style with our kids in the not too too distant future. Sending you virtual hugs!
Thank you so much @happy1 !
I just saw pictures online from the wedding of a young woman from my church. Our area of the state is not allowed to have indoor gatherings of more than 10. She got married less than 2 weeks ago, with an outdoor ceremony … but an indoor reception that included dancing. There was a crowd of well over 10, and several OLD folks in the group. Not a social distanced reception, and no masks in any of the pictures. The bride is a registered nurse who works in a hospital. I don’t get it! (And how can the reception venue get away with it?)
@kelsmom I keep thinking that if everyone would just stop gathering completely at the same time we could really make some progress against this virus. It just seems wrong to keep having these events right now. Did you read about this one? So far, there is no attempt to fine or punish the church or the restaurant either.
We just had a similar story on our local news about a large wedding reception that resulted in a number of positive cases. I know it’s difficult, but this just isn’t the time for large gatherings.
My son and FDIL luckily have no intention of doing anything like that.Current plan is small outdoor ceremony on the Spanish Steps in DC with a few local friends in their age range present. No reception, at most they said maybe some kind of champagne toast . It is definitely unfortunate that some people and venues just don’t seem to want to follow the rules.
my own son has commented a couple of times that this might be a good time for someone who doesn’t want all the fuss to get married as it would give them a good excuse for doing it quietly. I would love for him to marry his girlfriend but I hope we could celebrate it somehow. I told him he does not need an excuse for having a simple or informal celebration and if the two of them want to have casual style of event, that would be fine with me, but I do hope we can be there. We’ll see…
@happy1 Maybe there should be a “pandemic bride and grooms” thread. 
Never anticipated these issues and this is not likely to be going away any time soon. All the best to those navigating this.
I would much rather be posting here asking for help with picking out a mother of the groom dress! Oh well, it is what it is. And those with kids already married that still read this thread probably can’t relate and are bored with tales of woe like mine!
I’m not bored at all. My heart goes out to everyone in this awful situation. I’m all for the kids getting married, even if the party occurs on their first anniversary. Ya, my kids married in October, but that is the last time I’ve seen them. They won’t mAke plans for T-day or winter holidays. No graduation ceremony nor party. No idea how long before I see my kids or other close friends or family.
So sorry @bookworm. We felt lucky to see son and his fiancee on Sunday. First time since January(April visit canceled because of virus) ,. Haven’t seen other son living in Colorado since early January .
The grandparents, elderly parent threads,etc. have also somewhat changed in tone because of all this. It is a strange, stressful time we’re living in.
so sorry, @sevmom 
. ANd good luck with the weather, @runnersmom! I hope its perfect for you!
I was supposed to host a shower for a friend’s future DIL at the end of August (and they had 35 people on the list!) but I had to tell them we’d have to find a pavilion or something as I couldn’t host 35 people in my home during this. The wedding has now been postponed for a year— October 2021.
Another friend’s daughter is getting married this September. It happens to be Rosh Hashanah weekend, so we likely were going to decline anyway, but we just sent in the RSVP (declining).
Another friend’s son is doing a zoom wedding ceremony in October. I didn’t think I would be invited to the wedding but I am invited to the zoom, and will send a gift.