Congrats, safe teavels, enjoy!
Good luck @Mom22039 - enjoy!
Hope it all goes well!
While I think the typical (non-edible) wedding favors are unnecessary, I must say that yours sound delicious!
At my daughterâs wedding, the favor was a box of 2 small pieces of Mackinac Island fudge placed above the dinner plate. Weâre from Michigan. There were zero left.
Iâm into edible favors.
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A bride we know was in a car accident (with wrong way under the influence drug and alcohol driver) and needed lower leg bone surgery. She was in a walking hard foot to knee boot but was happy wedding for all. That accident could have had worse outcome.
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My friend is married to the fudge man!
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Ooooooohhhhhhhh!!! I do love Mackinac Island fudge. I might have trouble staying healthy if I were married to the fudge man.
The 100-yr old topper sounds wonderful! What a great item to have! Enjoy the weekend
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Hi all,
Weâre back. It was a success! Iâm still in awe of so many details and a few stories I wonât tell. (Ok, maybe).
Iâm looking forward to the pictures to see if they match my memories.
The priest was great. Our guests were delightful. The hotel worked through some kinks.
Awkward details: The airlines canceled 9 of our guests on Friday. One more guest dropped as a dating couple broke up. We understood these. There were 8 missing guests (no-shows) on Saturday. The no-shows were local and members of the groomâs extended family. We understood these less. We had paid for those 18 meals and bar packagesâŠ. Gulp. We found a way to serve platters of risotto (family style) to several tables to âuse upâ the food funds from the first 10 cancellations. The no-show food was boxed up taken to a few homeless people nearby late in the evening. (The valets helped).
We were in Cincinnati, where there were two major shootings in the entertainment districts on Saturday night. (Total of 11 people shot). We were very glad we had arranged for late-night food in the hotel bar, where our guests stayed and closed the bar. Most non-local guests (and a few of the locals) stayed in the hotel where the reception was hosted.
Our extra planning worked. We served refreshments in a room near the hotel bar between the wedding and reception. Guests had 1.5 hours to enjoy beverages (iced tea, lemonade) and light snacks before the reception. The hotel made money in the bar and everyone was happy. Late night: guests also had the opportunity to return to the same space for flatbread pizzas and leftover wedding cake. And, this kept them in the hotel, together!
Iâll be thinking of more details in the days ahead and will look for pictures I can share.
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Congrats!!!
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Sounds like a wonderful event.
Extended family - no show. Those sting because sometimes those family members would be âupsetâ if not invited, but then have no conscience when someone has to pay for dinners they didnât bother to show up for, and they didnât bother to give notice of not being able to come after RSVP yes.
When you first mentioned âshootings in the entertainment districtâ I first thought film shootingsâŠmy mind definitely was on party/entertainment and not the violence.
We met with DHâs adult first cousin and his wife recently (they are retired and were traveling through with their camper) - DH hasnât seen this cousin since he was a teenager; this cousin was an adult living with parents when we were married in 1979, and he was out of college - his parents and their family were invited to our nearby wedding (30 miles away from where they lived) - his parents never even showed him the wedding invitation nor gave him a chance to RSVP and go. He was rather shocked all these years later. We had no reply from his parents (this was DHâs motherâs brother). DHâs fatherâs brother/family didnât RSVP, didnât come to the wedding, but came to the dinner reception right as we were sitting down to eat - including not only their children, but the oldest daughterâs fiancĂ© (they wanted to âcheck outâ the wedding âdetailsâ) - of course they found places to sit and eat as well. So our gift from their family was a card with $20 cash. One cousin âbraggedâ to me that they got the small hanging shelf that they gave us as a wedding present âfor freeâ - I actually still have that piece in use in our guest bedroom. These people are not poor. It ranges from âno mannersâ to âno sensitivityâ to ânot caringâ to âfill in the blankâ.
@SOSConcern Thanks for that gemâgotta love those relatives!
This weekend weâre headed to a wedding in northern NJ. Canât wait to be a guest and hang out!
Bride and Groom are enjoying Disney World. Itâs actually his first trip there.
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Attended a wedding recently for a friendsâ son. We had a good time, but came away with some questions. The dance floor was open to all for 15 minutes. Why bother? We were only invited for the actual wedding, were aware that there were several other events planned that we were not invited to. Fine with us, we planned on making this a mini-vacation. Day of the wedding, we get invited to a post-wedding lunch over the weekend. Our schedule was flexible enough to make this. But we also got invited to a black tie event the day after the wedding! We had other plans already so we declined - but really, there was no way we could have gone with 4 hours notice! I had no suitable clothes to wear even if H had repeated his suit from the wedding!
Maybe they had more regrets than anticipated. Covid is also playing havoc with plans. The other day my PT only had one patient show up, all the rest had Covid and didnât come! She was supposed to have had a full day.
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After DH and I graduated college, DH was in another state and we were engaged with wedding the following year. We had been invited to his cousinâs wedding (very close side of the family) - and it was fine that I went with my mom to wedding and reception (100 miles from our home). It was fun - I knew some of the relatives quite well. Her wedding actually involved things for a number of guests from Friday evening through Sunday evening. Another cousinâs H could recall even to this day the extent of it (he was from TX and just use to Baptist short wedding with cake and punch reception). A shame that the marriage didnât last - but they have two terrific daughters.
At our nieceâs wedding in May, we only stayed for the dance to get started. It clearly was a young adult dance reception. We stayed for the second and the third wedding dances - the second wedding dance started with traditional; then they had all married couples on the dance floor - and they kept calling out couples to leave the dance floor so the longest married couple would remain. Well the groomâs grandparents were clearly going to âwinâ (they got the brideâs bouquet). I think they should have had a small gift for the 2nd longest married couple because it would have been meaningful versus a âdone dealâ. We were the last couple off the floor (married 43 years); the grandparents were maybe married 60 years. The last wedding had a lot of older people dancing at various times. I enjoyed watching the dancing with wedding 2 and 3; danced one dance with DH at these two and also danced with others a bit at wedding 3.
Some people want to âget inâ some very short traditional dances - but they must have been somewhat pressed for time and made decisions based on what the couple and/or parents wanted.
Wedding 3 even had serving of small hot bun sandwiches after a bit of time with the dancing (much time after the dinner and cake).
Obviously the black tie event either had a âgap in communicationâ, they were able to have more guests or some guests couldnât make it, or they realized some out of town people should have been invited.
Since you had plans anyway, it worked out.
We have a wedding in Oct in IA, and a wedding April 2023 in TN. Both family on Hâs side and the groom on both weddings. The bride to be for the IA wedding has a bridal shower given by her sister next month - I sent a gift, a recipe (as requested) and a card - we have not met her. We have met the bride to be for the TN wedding - she is very quiet.
We sort of have âsetâ on gifting for these weddings - a nice cash gift and some items they can use (be it kitchen or other).
Now that weâre out a bit from the wedding, Iâd like to bring up a topic: hosted bars vs. cash bars. And, mostly about tips.
Really, this isnât about which you could afford. Itâs more about expectations.
When I host a party, including open bar, I really donât want to see tip jars for the bartenders. Iâm throwing the party with food and drinks for the guests. I donât expect them to pay the person who is serving them. We had it in our contract that there were to be no tip jars. There were tips calculated into the contact AND we (planned) to tip each staff member as well.
The venue assigned three bartenders and set up three bars (3 for the cocktail hour and three in the ballroom â the bartenders moved). I was super annoyed to find that one of the bartenders had a tip jar out and when he was told to put it away, he put it where the guests could still see it.
I spoke with the wedding coordinator and we later delivered two Amex gift cards designated for the âotherâ two bartenders.
Last weekend we were at another wedding. Iâm close to the mom of the bride and Iâm aware they had a significant mandatory tip for their bartenders. They also had âno tip jarsâ in their plans. The bartenders left strategic bills on the bar.
My brotherâs daughter is the next to get married and we just talked about tips. He put a big tip in the tip jar at Ds wedding, but is now thinking about the plans for his daughterâs wedding!
If a cash bar is the chosen option, I donât have an issue with the tip jar. I figure thatâs a financial decision (or a decision on spending money on alcohol) and itâs not mine to judge. Dang, I know how expensive weddings can be.
This isnât world peace and I havenât lost sleep over it. Itâs just one of those insidious details I couldnât control!
Anyone else have thoughts on this?
Iâm with you in this. If Iâm throwing a party, I expect my guests to show up and have fun - no tip jars of any kind.
For us, it was easy. We had to bring our own booze to the venue and hire a licensed âfreelancerâ bartender (plus get a mandatory permit and $2M insurance for the venue). The bartender was excellent and did not put the tip jar out, as I requested. He became even more enthusiastic after I handed him the envelope with his tip. 
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Big no to the tip jar. It should be spelled out in the contract, as should the server gratuities so theyâre not compelled to go rouge. But thatâs not always communicated to the servers. I go to a number of pricy charity galas and have seen patrons (usually tipsy rich men) take an empty glass and toss a $20 in it and it builds from there.
If I was running the event, I would keep an eye out for that and correct the issue. If someone slips the the bartender or server money, thereâs nothing I can do about that. But I certainly donât want guests to feel pressure to tip when I know weâre already being generous to servers.
In these parts, people actually want to tip the bartenders at weddings where alcohol is included. Dâs wedding didnât have tip jars, but I know that many guests (not all, I suppose, because itâs not an expectation) tipped. I worked at a college that hosted events with alcohol, and those bartenders refused to take tips because they could get fired if they did. We have always felt that it was never an expectation, but we do like to tip.