We planned D’s wedding in a NY suburb 11 months out. A number of venues were booked but we did find one that worked perfectly. We also moved pretty quickly after their engagement to get other important vendors (ex. band, photographer, officiant) lined up.
Good luck and try to enjoy it all! And congrats!
Maybe this will be interesting to some/maybe help alleviate stress in others. MOB here twice in 1 yr. Both weddings not where we live. First wedding was 16 mo in planning, in a venue usually used for weddings, in metro area where couple lives, many bridesmaids and groomsmen. Second wedding pulled ahead several months because of serious health issue in groom’s family. In 5 weeks we put together a wedding from the get-go with pretty much all the bells and whistles. Found place to print gold foil invitations available in 5 days. Wedding was in the gardens of a private residence, with wedding tent, lots of flowers in garden and purchased custom arrangements, and lots of gold touches. Ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and dancing. Hired caterer, band, bartender, rented wedding tent and restroom trailer, florist, bakery, and party bus, notified guests by text, email phone call (group effort) within first couple of weeks, invitations sent. Dresses ordered from nonstandard wedding dress sources -all midi length. Bride requested solid color for family members -I ordered in 4 for me to try and all fit (Nordstrom, Dillards, Bloomingdale’s, love their online sorting tools) and I liked them all. (When does that happen? Kept 3). We needed to bring in everything from tables to candles to liquor to water to silverware and more. We had many compliments and also comments about no indications we put this together quickly. We were able to put in lots of details. Both weddings were excellent, if I do say so myself, and we had little to no planning drama. Both couples wanted after parties at bars and both did, starting at 11 PM or so. Somehow we had a 96% yes rate on the short time frame wedding and many guests were a plane ride away.
What did we learn? So much easier and much, much less expensive to use wedding venue - wouldn’t have guessed how much. With short timeframe in high season, to look at nonstandard wedding suppliers and rentals from nearby towns. Caterer and bartender and band and even florist did not usually do weddings or market themselves as wedding suppliers. All were excellent. Hair and makeup places also not usually wedding suppliers. Great weather is …great to have. Remember what is important and what is fluff. No chance for much if any second guessing on decisions. Lists, lists, lists, and timelines/schedules. It did help on the short term wedding to have planned a wedding before. Etsy and Amazon were great for supplies. A email was sent to everyone a couple of days before the wedding with some of the details that may often be on a wedding website or included with invitations. When there is a serious health issue in one of the families some details just don’t seem so important.
What was “missing” on the latest wedding? No formal bridesmaids/groomsmen, although there was sort of a bride squad on the day of the wedding -“4 hour bridesmaids”. There was a rehearsal dinner welcome party the night before; those who may have been in wedding party were included in one or both. No save the date cards. No calligraphy/computer addressed envelopes. No bachelor/bachelorette weekends. No wedding website.
Neither couple wanted an after wedding brunch. Another one of ours had an after wedding brunch-new spouse’s mother planned- a few years ago but not many yes RSVPs - guests wanted to get on the road, go to airport, and/or already had breakfast at home or hotel.
D2 is going to find a venue with a full catering service to avoid doing a la cart. D1 is suggesting for her to get the photographer and videographer she used from outside of nyc because they may be more economical even after all the traveling expenses. We were very happy with the pictures and videos.
That’s what son and daughter in law did-use a venue fairly near them in DC that could do all of the events like rehearsal dinner, welcome party,wedding reception and brunch onsite and they also hired a wedding planner to help with band, flowers,etc. suggestions.
Congratulations! Exciting news!
Some interesting venues in Brooklyn, so I have heard. A friend’s son and daughter-in-law found a lovely place in Williamsburg, and I’ve been to a wonderful reception in Red Hook.
It may depend on how many guests. For a smaller wedding there might be more options (?)
Yes. I think they are thinking around 100 instead of 200 that D1 had. The groom side of family is not big, so it maybe possible.
S2’s wedding is Friday (50 people) and the reception is Saturday (150 people) in SF. We live in Southern California but he and his fiancée live in SF. A lot of logistics with four grandkids 4 and under and my 85 year old mom. I just gave him the same amount of money I gave the other two, but her family is paying for everything. There is no rehearsal dinner. We offered to do a shower and a day after brunch but they didn’t want either. Getting my nails done today and haircut is scheduled for Wednesday.
Hope it all goes well and you fully enjoy!
I think many are opting to NOT have a shower.
S2 and FDIL got their marriage license today. Tried yesterday, but S had to get his passport and all stamps translated. Their plan is to have the celebration on 9/14 and the registry on Saturday, 9/2 or 9/9…H asked if maybe they’d consider doing it the Monday before, by which point FDIL’s mom and we would be in Lviv. S2 and FDIL are going to discuss it. I’d be so thrilled to witness both ceremonies. Not being involved at all in the preparations is really tough for me.
FDIL did invite me to get hair & makeup done the day of the wedding celebration. I don’t know that I’ll have them do my hair. I have to shellac it to get it to hold a curl.
S2 has made sure our hotel has a bomb shelter. There’s a bar in the basement of their apartment building that doubles as a shelter, but the owner can’t guarantee it’ll be open if the air raid sirens go off. The hotel’s around the corner from S2 and FDIL’s apartment.
Any suggestions on small gifts to bring to FDIL’s relatives? This is a big custom there. Must be able to survive two weeks of living in a suitcase before delivery.
When we’ve exchanged gifts when traveling, we try to get something from our region - chocolates, olive oil, a cutting board made from local wood. It may have to be adjusted for the weight you are allowed to bring and how many gifts you need. When we had exchange students from France, they gave lace doilies that were made in the region they were from (maybe even by one of the boy’s grandmothers?).
Etsy has some custom items, personalized messages on fabric or wall decor for new in laws.
The Knot has an article about Ukranian wedding customs, too.
Would they appreciate small portable electronic devices like power banks to recharge phones (if electricity goes off for periods of the day), hand-cranked flashlights, or the like? Depending on the recipients, items with American logos (Nike, etc.) for younger folks, and makeup or other little luxuries are other ideas that come to mind.
It is hard to imagine the circumstances under which people in Ukraine are living right now. Perhaps ask your son for advice on what your future in-laws might appreciate and be able to use.
I’d ask your son to ask his fiancée for recommendations… is there anything they’d like to get. As this might be one of those times when practical gifts trump typical gift approaches. Hugs. A bomb shelter is not a typical amenity anyone should be looking for.
I sent a quilt with them to give to FDIL’s mom when they were here last fall.
My usual go-to items won’t work here – I do a lot of canning, but S & DIL have had problems with bringing jars of food here – the jars depressurize and pop in the suitcase. Ukrainian food is so much better, anyway. Battery-operated items have to go in carry-on.
Am waiting for feedback from S & FDIL. I could make quilted placemats, but I need some lead time! We’re at 24 days to departure, at which point I have no access to a sewing machine. Could hand sew bindings.
I’ll go look at Etsy and see if I can find something with a quick turnaround.
This probably should go in the ‘say it here’ thread – but any words of wisdom welcome.
DD wedding THIS WEEKEND.
Groom sick last week. COVID! Bride sick this week. COVID!
They were both extra cautious for the last few weeks, all to no avail.
Fortunately, most activities are planned for outside. Fortunately weather forecast looks promising. Fortunately sickness so far is not life threatening, but not fun either. Timing MIGHT still work per latest CDC guidelines, assuming illness is short duration. Masking will be needed for B&G, definitely for any indoor portion.
They notified all guests. We have no clue how this will ultimately affect attendance, because it is so close to the date. Some family members bailing due to health concerns. No lodging refunds.
This was a total ‘do-it-yourself’ event by bride & groom, so not an all-inclusive type of venue. They worked SO HARD on the planning and coordination. Vendors are being totally unsympathetic (some actually a PIA). Timing is just awful.
I have no words for daughter, other than this will be one to remember. Right now there is little consoling – although I am especially proud that after the tears, she is still trying to re-direct where possible – and then more tears.
(cross-posting w/ Covid thread).
So very sorry this is happening. Did they ask their doctor if taking plaxovid could possibly help?
I can’t believe Covid is still screwing with weddings. Ds had two weddings and tonight just left for the honeymoon they wanted to have almost three years ago.
I’m so sorry this is happening.
@kjofkw I’m so, so sorry. We did DIY weddings for ourselves and S1 and am familiar with that level of logistics. I hope they are both feeling better by the weekend and that they can pull this off, albeit with some changes and sadness. I’d be tearful, too. Hope the good weather holds and that they can do much of the celebration and pictures outdoors. A pox on the PIA vendors!