I’m so, so sorry. The guidelines are pretty much “you are on your own.” I think your kids are being too nice and cautious and doing the right thing to inform the guests. I would not have been discouraged to attend, but others might have a different reaction. Regarding lodging and travel… people need to understand that nothing is risk-free. There are refundable options for those who want to remove uncertainty. Hugs.
4 Likes
@kjofkw so sorry for this HORRIBLE timing!
What a disappointment. I guess that’s all you can do, lean into that it stinks but that it doesn’t define the marriage.
What an unfortunate circumstance! 
2 Likes
Oh, I believe it. What I think is happening now is that covid is spreading at weddings, yet because people aren’t testing (or aren’t testing properly), they are thinking that they don’t have covid. And, even if they know that they do, I think many are ignoring the isolate/mask/test protocol recommended by the CDC.
I am so sorry for your D, @kjofkw. Kudos for her for doing the right thing and notifying the guests. If I was a guest, I would not attend the wedding, but I would be so grateful that I’d been informed. What do you mean that the vendors are being totally unsympathetic? Are they refusing to work the wedding?
4 Likes
I know some people are coping with long Covid, but most people who have been immunized and/or have had mild cases of Covid probably won’t be deterred.
The blessing is that both the bride and groom have had some days from their onset and can feel better by the wedding date.
Sending lots of good wishes your family’s way for a wonderful wedding celebration.
If they were planning a honeymoon directly after I might see if that can be delayed so it can be enjoyed in full health. Hopefully bride is feeling better. I would trim down any extra events to have more rest. But I would go ahead with wedding as long as bride is improving.
I mean, it’s a nightmare - stupid Covid!!! You have my sympathies. Do your best to keep the bride and groom upbeat. End result is still a live together!
Covid is starting to feel like making the mandate that every time you have a cold you need to stay home and away from people for 5 days. I know that is not actually the case, but it’s feeling so commonplace and NOT threatening for many (but still threatening for some) that it’s totally frustrating.
Let us know how things move forward if you’re willing!
Bride/Groom were not asking to cancel, but did ask food vendor if possible to reduce the number, already knowing of cancellations. Main meal was always going to be from a food truck, but same vendor was also bartending, partial serving (hors d’oeuvres, desserts, champagne), and cleaning. Supplies (plates, glasses, utensils, etc.) are all provided by location, not vendor, but vendor was coordinating and cleaning. Vendor said ‘probably not’ on head count reductions, and then proceeded to tell them that they will only service out of the truck. So who is now serving, bartending, cleaning, etc? All unknowns.
Bride/Groom are only known cases - and they isolated, and tried to “do the right thing” by informing others. They also told vendor they personally would stay away from all food services. Vendor would have served all the other guests previously without hesitation, so actually this venue should now be safer than many.
I told them to insist on to-go boxes for all the unused meals. We won’t have to cook for a long time 
I also feel that if vendor is not agreeing to the services promised, B/G should not be charged for all those services! But I’m technically not the client here, and B/G are currently in no mood to push back.
1 Like
Caterer is being totally unreasonable by refusing to do the promised services!! 
Especially in an outdoor venue! This would be the caterer to avoid for sure for anyone planning a wedding here in this neck of the woods!
Sadly, many caterers that don’t have onsite refrigerator capacity will not do doggie bags. Health Department regulations. 
I suspect if many young adults are local or not a very far trip, they will attend. Bridal party I also imagine will all come. It depends on the other adults on their thinking - or if someone is concerned with a chronic illness.
I also agree with you if charged for X meals, to get the unused meals - or maybe even bring large disposable containers for the servings (my daughter’s family run restaurant food which was served at our venue, they packaged up everything from buffet style serving).
I am sure the bride/groom are going to be cautious if they are still in ‘the window’ for spreading Covid.
Best wishes! It will be OK!
2 Likes
Venue location has refrigerator… so no excuses there. Maybe we should bring to-go boxes. I’ll just get ‘in line’ 20 times I always wondered how that works with a food truck anyway. I’m guessing they count the number of orders, but nothing to stop guests from multiple trips.
1 Like
There are specific requirements for refrigeration… as we found out… so unfortunately the venue fridge might not work. But your plan sounds good. Bring a cooler just in case. So sorry this turned into a headache!
2 Likes
Don’t want to get too off track, but I have been through Red Cross training and helped run a shelter and the health requirements are strict. People trying to be nice bring food to help in a crisis, but we can’t take most of it as we have no idea what kind of safety guidelines were used in its preparation and the last thing we need is an outbreak of a food-borne illness on top of caring for people fleeing a hurricane or whatever. Anyway, I tell that story just to back up @BunsenBurner that what seems reasonable and helpful isn’t always the case. I like the idea of bringing your own containers and cooler. Or just tell your guests to ask for extra helpings their first time through! Eat up, people! And make sure bartenders and other venue staff get to eat, too!
1 Like
I imagine there is a certain time frame that the food truck(s) are going to be serving food - so if you know you are going to have less guests than the ‘frozen’ guest count, just make it clear that you want the food packaged up after they finish serving. You will have an idea of what is going to be there, and just bring the type of containers to bring back the remaining portions.
We went to a holiday party where the caterer grossly underestimated the buffet line food (they had the right count of people) - and they ran out of food. At least 15 of us went totally w/o. Some just went and got what scraps were left on the ‘dessert’ table. We left.
H’s nephew is supposed to be getting married on Saturday. Its a 6 hour drive for us. We just got the call that they groom (nephew) tested positive today. He started feeling lousy on Sunday evening and started the paxlovid today. So far the bride is okay. S and DIL are supposed to be at the wedding as well, but DIL is 15 weeks pregnant. I assume {hope} they’ll stay home. I really don’t know what to do.Wedding will be inside. I’m in my late 60s, in reasonable health, but I haven’t had any of the recent vaccinations. I had COVID early in 2022. I was completely asymptomatic. H had it at the same time and still has fatigue and limited smell.
All of this is to show appreciation to @kjofkw for her sensitivity to her guests’ well-being. I know it hasn’t been easy making all those phone calls.
2 Likes
The bride will probably test positive soon.
Since it’s all inside, there is no way I’d be attending (I’d probably not attend even if it was outdoors). I hope your S and DIL stay away, since your DIL is pregnant.
Since you are in your late 60s, you (and H, assuming he’s your age) are at risk solely because of age And your H has long covid from an early 2022 infection? I remember when someone on CC (can’t remember name) had the idea of considering whether getting covid would be worth the risk of doing something or attending some event.
People consider it worth getting covid to get together for the holidays, to attend weddings, to travel…everyone’s considerations are different. So is it worth getting covid to attend H’s nephew’s wedding? What does your H think, since it’s his sibling’s child?
Covid levels are rising, and this is going to happen more and more. I suspect that as time goes on, the less people care about getting covid.
Keep us updated. Was this to be a big to-do? How are they handling the wedding now?
I asked my DD, an active working hospital nurse, who also has 4 children (youngest was born in June) if she was 15 weeks pg would her OB tell her not to attend a wedding in the circumstances you describe, and she said “I don’t think so”.
Anyone working in public places has potential for exposure, many times from people who may not have symptoms but have Covid during contagious period.
I do think people who feel their health would be very adversely compromised with a possible exposure to Covid now need to use their judgement.
Yes, we will see what happens over Thanksgiving and Christmas 2023. Over 2021, I know a family that was careful, but a male young adult family member went to a bar some time before the family gathering and spread it to a lot of family members. And yes they were mad at his poor judgment.
We just attended my father’s funeral, and one week later both my kids are COVID positive. S1 is in a wedding the 19th along with his SO (who is negative)
Luckily my SiL, who just finished her second round of chemo, had stayed apart from everyone else. It’s definitely still out there, still disruptive.
1 Like
Your son should be fine to attend on the 19th if he feels ok! Hope his SO stays negative. 
2 Likes
yes, he should be – and his SO has been out of town, so S1 disinfected their home and has moved downstairs to the mancave until he is negative. Fingers crossed, indeed.
Wishing everyone a quick recovery. It’s crazy how Covid is still having such an impact on milestone events.
We are having a baby shower this weekend. The mom to be missed out on a wedding shower, had a Covid small wedding where she required vaccination proof. Had her first baby shower cancelled due to Covid. Her first birth she was allowed just 1 visitor. Hoping this baby shower goes off without any sickness.
7 Likes