<p>AParentalUnit - I know deferrals can be very disappointing - but don’t give up hope. I have seen good results with deferred kids who send in more credentials. So - send mid-year grades - send another teacher rec from a senior year teacher - send news of any award or honor rcvd since the app was submitted. Besides the quality of the actual items - you will also be continuing to demonstrate interest. So - no guarantee - but I’d rather do something than nothing. Good luck!</p>
<p>AParentalUnit - Don’t despair. I know one of S’s EA schools says up front that admission by EA is more difficult than RD. It wasn’t an outright rejection, that’s good.</p>
<p>^^My oldest son a school like the one that mamom described, and another that had just started EA that year. My son was deferred at both EA. He never showed additional interest. He ended up being accepted to both schools (one was a public and one was a private U.). The private U also offered considerable merit money, which surprised me.</p>
<p>Mine expects a rejection this afternoon…she’d be thrilled with a deferral!</p>
<p>Deferrals don’t always mean bad news later on, aParentalUnit, so do have faith!</p>
<p>I have tried to be “hands off” with the applications and the essays, because I know that within a year she’ll be on her own and making big decisions and she needs to have experience doing that. That being said…my D is taking 2 English college courses at her high school through Syracuse Univ’s Project Advance. She complained to me this week that everyone else has gotten their ID cards and online access to the library but she hasn’t and it must be because I haven’t paid the tuition. (It’s $330 per class, a bargain for 6 college credits I’ve been told) But I haven’t received any invoice - although I have been tossing out many letters from colleges so maybe I threw it out! I gave her some specific things she could do to research this, to try and resend the invoice, but she did nothing. Today she has an assignment and needs to use the library (but managed with someone else’s code) and IMed me about not paying the tuition. I asked her to forward any emails from the school and got nothing. So I called SU and they said she was not registered for the class at all, and no, it’s too late now to start registration. I insisted that she had an email from the school (but of course I had never seen it) and she put me on hold and found that they had emailed her on Oct. 1st and she never answered them. They had a question about what section of the class she was in, she had checked 4 classes instead of 2, and put her registration aside until it was answered. And no invoice was ever sent (whew, not my fault!). And she had sent in the app without a parent’s signature.
They were so helpful, emailed the corrected app to me for my signature, which I faxed right over and took my credit card info to pay for the class, and are sending her the college ID card today.
So again, I feel like Mighty Mouse (here I come to save the day…) and has she learned anything? I don’t know. It took a good half hour to deal with this on the phone and all the work was done by the woman at SU & myself. My D told me that she showed the email to her teacher who said to check off all of the courses and to ignore the email. I hope she’ll learn to not ignore emails or at least show them to me!
Maybe I should make her pay for the course?</p>
<p>Wow - that was a good outcome bella! My son is taking a class at a local college and I’ve got to say I was not very hands off mostly because if money’s involved (MY money), I wanted to make sure it was done correctly. He’s in charge of the grades and projects and I’ll pay for it. I would be awfully bummed if we found out that a class he’s been taking for the last four months didn’t count. I just told him today if there are any college discounts or deals he should take advantage of them now because he’s almost DONE! Got the Amazonprime anyway!</p>
<p>AParentalUnit - How did your son take the deferral news?</p>
<p>kathiep - My son is disappointed but okay about the EA deferral so far - it is not his first choice school. But that school seems to take similar stats students to the school he really wants, which he applied to ED. The ED school’s answers aren’t out yet, but the EA deferral is making us both aware that the news might be less than ideal for his favorite school too.</p>
<p>Not trying to be negative, but at least we’re cautious as we wait for the rest of the decisions. More info next week.</p>
<p>Also, thanks for everyone’s support about sending new grades, scores, etc, to show interest. The concern is that his fall senior year is not producing higher grades than before, so there will be no “bump” from his midyear reports. He can at least keep in touch and continue to express interest if he is still available as things go. I have been glad at least to not have a denial, as it gives some glimmer of hope.</p>
<p>APU – I’d still send those mid-year reports to show that he isn’t slacking off, as so many kids do senior year.</p>
<p>Got the first rejection on Friday…it was a reach as it was and basically expected, but still sad. And to make matters worse, she had to go there on Sunday for an activity!</p>
<p>so sorry Kerrbo…</p>
<p>Aww, that’s too bad Kerrbo. I hope she could find some big flaws in the college when she was there yesterday!</p>
<p>Sorry Kerrbo. Rejection stinks.</p>
<p>Sorry Kerrbo, could we find some “sour grapes” ? (Aesop Fable, the fox could not reach the grapes, when he walked away he said they were probably sour!) </p>
<p>kathiep is right, hope she found some flaws/sour grapes!</p>
<p>I told my D I was already feeling badly about how she would feel to get a rejection and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said “I can deal Mom”. I guess, and I guess it’s also ok that we know some of the schools are reaches. We can’t protect them from everything! She said she’s dealt with worse things in life than being told she wasn’t wanted! Poor baby.</p>
<p>Best wishes to everyone! bella, it sounds like you’re having quite a ride right now. Good luck!</p>
<p>As for rejections, we all know we could be in the same boat. My D pretty surely will come out barely 50-50 with acceptances, so that means at least 5-6 rejections. I think she’s prepared for it, although we haven’t talked so much about that specifically. What she’s done is apply to several quite likely schools so that her worst-case scenario still gives her a good batch of choices. So I know she’s imagined that kind of “what if.” But I’m not sure any of us can really imagine the day we/they read the words “Unfortunately …” Hopefully more “I can deal” than “I’m a loser,” but we’ll just have to see from day to day.</p>
<p>I recall being deferred from my ED school, which was a shock, but sent me looking in great new directions. My first choice turned out to have rolling admissions, and I was in by February. So when I opened the last group (an ultimate rejection from the ED, another expected rejection, an acceptance and a waitlist) I actually didn’t even care any more. </p>
<p>My H applied to one safety and one match/reach and luckily got into the latter. D1 got into her first choice ED. So D2 here is going to have a lot more “big moments” than any of us have been used to. I think she has a good attitude going in, but I’m ready for anything.</p>
<p>I will continue to advocate for everyone to apply to at least one likely school that will tell them early. It is a good feeling - although my D doesn’t have that yet, still is waiting for her couple of rolling schools to get rolling. And even an early EA deferral or rejection gives you something to go on.</p>
<p>And probably the best post I ever read on this issue was one last year that reminded everyone that going to college is going to COLLEGE. It listed everything about college that is wonderful and exciting and will happen pretty much no matter where they go (anyone know how to find it?). Yes, the distinctions are important, and schools are very different in many ways. But if kids can remember, no matter what their specific results, that in the fall they get to go to a college, move into a dorm, take exciting classes, meet lots of wonderful people, live in a fun place with tons of activities, and explore this next new great phase in their lives - that will soothe a lot of the rejection sting.</p>
<p>Very true, EmmyBet. No matter where you go, there you are. In other words, you can’t expect to get a good education from even the most beautiful and famous buildings by osmosis. It’s what you bring to the experience and what you take away that matters.</p>
<p>ds got another deferral, from his last choice school, but it was really nicely written and motivating, adding to please use it as inspiration and to note that many of their previous year’s deferrals end up being admitted. And, it turns out, many of their EA acceptances are contingent on first semester grades anyway. So far, his grades are significantly higher than his cum. ave. but we are deep into hockey season so hoping he keeps them up. Also had an ego bruise that captain voting turned into a popularity contest and he remained an assistant rather than captain…felt a bit that his teammates didn’t believe in him. Also doesn’t help that a few are only looking at schools he’d never dream of attending and their mothers talk incessantly about their great grades, acceptances and test scores (one got a perfect ACT!) so I’ve had to remove myself from conversations in order to maintain my sanity and sense of calm…someone will accept him eventually and he’s assured me he’ll be happy at the “even one of them” that does.</p>
<p>Hoping that one of the other two notifications he should receive soon will be an acceptance!</p>
<p>Your S has had a tough few days ddd928. No consulation but better a deferral from his last choice shool than from his first.</p>