<p>sorry for the misspellings – imprtius instead of impetus, etc. — I can’t seem to edit something posted from my pda.rom my</p>
<p>Our bathrooms are co-ed unless someone speaks up at the hall meetings or talks to the HA directly at the beginning of the semester. About half of our bathrooms, shared by about 20 students each, end up being single-sex that way. Interestingly enough, most of the single-sex bathrooms are on halls with freshmen. </p>
<p>My freshman year I voted a bathroom single-sex myself because I imagined co-ed bathrooms to be rather awkward. Turned out to be a non-issue, and ever since then I have been happily sharing my bathroom with guys. </p>
<p>Peer pressure (anticipated or real) shouldn’t prevent someone from shooting their HA an e-mail about bathroom preferences - it’s not quite anonymous, but anonymous enough. While the official voting procedure might be less anonymous, I cannot imagine that a request directly to the HA would not be honored if it occurs early in the semester.</p>
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<p>This makes sense, and I do not doubt its veracity. However, we are talking about <em>college dorm</em> bathrooms here. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think nearly everyone on a given dorm hall would know who their hall mates are almost immediately - like the first day of school. Most dorms that I am aware of have mandatory hall meetings right away.</p>
<p>Unless the dorm rooms are gender-neutral, the trans student will already be roomed according to his/her identifying gender, so why would there be an issue of which bathroom to use? Dorms with gender-neutral roommate policies probably either already have gender-neutral bathrooms, or well-publicized policies in place about gender identity issues in the living environment.</p>
<p>What I’m saying is that I suspect that harassment of trans students in <em>college dorm</em> same-sex bathrooms is likely no more prevalent (and probably less) than harassment of men or women in gender-neutral bathrooms. As I said earlier, the primary issue to me is not about safety - I think college bathrooms are quite safe in general - but about privacy.</p>
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Indeed it is, and the answer is simple and has been mentioned many times in this thread: a college should, whenever possible, offer housing options of both kinds, so that students who are strongly uncomfortable with gender-neutral bathrooms can opt for the traditional same-sex setup. I think very few (if any) here would argue that, because gender-neutral bathrooms are either the option of choice or a matter of indifference for a large number of people, therefore people who are uncomfortable with them should be out of luck. All most of us have been saying is that (1) there’s nothing wrong with gender-neutral bathrooms, the people who prefer them, or the colleges that offer them; (2) it is perfectly possible for gender-neutral bathrooms to be set up in such a way that privacy per se is not an issue (though embarrassment may still be, hence the need for both options).</p>
<p>From the original article is a link to a blog on the MIT admissions site. </p>
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<p>The mocking tone is a good example of what I’m talking about. This despite the admitted level of concern from prospective students. Sounds like no vote at all in the dorm he’s talking about. </p>
<p>The real issue in many cases, IMO is money. Dorms were built when halls were single sex. Bathroom renovations are expensive and schools would rather put funding toward things that get noticed or will pull in more revenue.</p>
<p>I don’t recall a single post by those who have actually used co-ed bathrooms, including current students, expressing any problems/concerns with it. Number 4 in the quote above (Nobody cares) is really how it plays out in real life. Even those with initial trepidation quickly discover its a non-issue in practice and move on.</p>
<p>You can also note that this is a parents forum and the vast majority of posters here have not been current students living in modern day culture with regard to these matters, and that apparently co-ed bathrooms are known of well enough that people who would take serious issue could easily choose not to go to those schools-- not necessarily making it a non-issue. You cannot claim just from the contents of this thread that most students who are initially reluctant to accept a co-ed bathroom are going to adapt.</p>
<p>DS just did an overnight at MIT last month, staying in a co-ed dorm. When I mentioned co-ed bathrooms, he made a ‘what a weird idea’ face, probably never having thought of such things before despite having been on many college tours. Yes, he is normally that clueless. I asked him whether the bathroom at MIT was a co-ed bathroom, and he replied that he supposes it was, but hadn’t really noticed.</p>
<p>Seeing the line my wife sometimes has to contend with when we go to entertainment venues or the airport, I’m still glad I have an alternative.</p>
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<p>I did make a post quoting my daughter – who was sitting next to me and gave me her thoughts – that she didn’t like sharing a bathroom with boys when she did it. Not plowing through 16 pages of posts to find it, but it’s there somewhere.</p>
<p>Because this is a parent forum, I want to ask everyone with an office/school job what their reaction would be if it were announced that to make sure everyone is mature and tolerant, the bathrooms in their office/school were going to be integrated to eliminate single-gender bathrooms. Furthermore, showers would be added in case anyone wanted to use them. Of course, all visitors to the building would have access. If you don’t like the policy, don’t apply for a job here (hopefully you will know about this ahead of time).</p>
<p>Exactly. I’d be taken aback to find that the restrooms in my workplace were going to be integrated because the social norm is that public facilities are single-gender. Therefore, it’s not surprising to expect an 18 yo, who has been raised seeing and using single-gender bathrooms in every single public situation (restaurants, sports stadiums), would be taken aback to find a coed bathroom in a dorm setting. That’s not to say it’s an insurmountable thing.</p>
<p>Why aren’t bathrooms coed in high schools? What do you think the reaction would be if the bathrooms in high schools were made coed? And that’s not involving showering or extended grooming at the sink (hair, makeup) … Just basically the use of the toilet and washing hands afterwards. How would that go over?</p>
<p>Thirty years ago, I was on a co-ed floor in a dorm with co-ed bathrooms. I never objected at the time, partially because of what was mentioned in post #225, the mocking tone in which objections to it are talked about. Also because back then women were breaking barriers! I wanted to be a part of that.</p>
<p>I retrospect, I was never really comfortable with it, it added to the overall stress level of college (the main stressor was, “How am I going to work enough hours to pay for all this??!!”) So, really, I would have been better off with single sex bathrooms. For the sake of a feeling of safety and privacy.</p>
<p>We have 3 uni-gender bathrooms at my office. There are also some at the hospital I work at. Handicapped bathrooms at some airports are uni-gender, as are some ‘family’ BR. Yes, these are all single use, not multi use.</p>
<p>There is a qualitative difference between a dorm, which is living space, as opposed to working/public space. Pajamas, for example, would not be welcome at work, but are commonplace at dorms. Ditto drinking. I don’t think it’s fair to compare the two.</p>
<p>My communal BR was used by 20 or so students with rooms in the vicinity of the BR and an occasional visitor who did not linger there.</p>
<p>I am not suggesting that one is superior to the other. I simply would have found it very inconvenient to have to walk down to the other end of the hall every time I wanted to use the facilities when there was one right nearby. The downside of co-ed bathrooms (which for me was none) never outweighed the upside of convenience.</p>
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<p>Yes, it’s not fair to compare the two. But that’s because nobody has to drink or wear pajamas during an eight-plus hour work day. But most people will have to relieve themselves.</p>
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<p>Exactly. That’s why this hypothetical</p>
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<p>doesn’t work as a fair comparison. This isn’t a matter of eliminating single-gender bathrooms as much as retrofitting exisiting facilities. I’d guess that if new dorms are being built without single-gender bathrooms, it’s because the college already has a culture of having them, and people are comfortable with them. </p>
<p>But if my office space was suddenly changed to mixed bathrooms? It would seem a bit odd at first, and then would be fine. On the other hand, my office is behind three security doors, so I know all the 100+ or so people who’d have access. I’d certainly feel much more comfortable with that kind of setup than the single-gender bathrooms of my high school.</p>
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<p>Can somebody please tell me what “retrofitting” needs to be done? I honestly don’t know what you are talking about. Men’s restrooms and women’s restrooms can be identical. There doesn’t have to be a urinal in a men’s room. To me the extent of retrofitting is putting a sign on the door.</p>
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<p>It might be fine with you. It would also be fine with me. But as I think I pointed out many posts ago, there are ladies in my office that complained because the janitor didn’t announce his presence loudly enough.</p>
<p>When we added a shower to our warehouse building–because most of our employees commute by bicycle–we converted one of the two bathrooms to a shower/toilet that can be used by anyone and the other bathroom is a unisex toilet. Both have locks. None of our employees have complained.</p>
<p>I was at an office offsite around Geneva where bathrooms were co-ed. Each stall had a floor to ceiling door, so I was perfectly fine with it. At the end of offsite, they asked what was the best and worst moment of the offsite, my male boss said it was running into me in the bathroom and having to do his business.:)</p>