A Bit of Insight and Wisdom for College Confidential

Fellow College Confidential Users,

I write to you all today on a Friday night, yes what uncanny behavior from a college student! However, I feel that I should provide some insight and wisdom that I have learned while utilizing this site. My purpose of writing this post is to discern the veracity, ardor and competition that surround this site and the very nature of applying to college. Perhaps no one will read this, and if so this can be a way that I vent out my thoughts via the internet so the world can judge what they think is just my pure shrewd nature as it may have two-hundred plus views with no comments, which is fine, I am not looking to create discord. However, I feel that it is vital for everyone to stop and think why they were on this site in the first place, where they are now and if they are happy with themselves. I write to you today as a freshman in college. Although I will not call myself a college connoisseur as I have only been in college a few months I think I can share a plethora of insight.

When I came on this site four years ago I think I myself and others can relate to the problematic feeling of wanting to attend an Ivy League and realizing the lottery shot chances that it will happen. If you are to look at the probability that any of us will get in we truly will never know no matter how much we “chance” each other or pretend that we hear stories from people that most likely are erroneous, and this is simply because we do not work in that admissions office. You did not get into Harvard? Join the club, but I would advise you all to not always look at the prestige in life, although it is quite alluring. When I reflect on my past experiences and view myself now I am glad I ended up where I am today, and I fully support my college. Of course everyone wants to go to Harvard, Yale and Princeton, I think it is every CC’rs dream.

I want to tell you a few stories before I end my thoughts on this topic. A girl a few years older than me who was the valedictorian was accepted to Brown. I look at her now and although this may come off pompous and quite self assuring but I do not think she is any better than me because she got in Brown, I do not find her anything special or unique. She doesn’t seem to be a cultured person or able to think philosophically or abstractly. Yet when you tell people you attend schools like Brown there is almost an idolizing veneration that follows with it or abhorrence and jealously. These people who attend these schools are by no means members of a deity yet culture and society emphasizes that in order to succeed we have to go to an ivy league, we have to be a doctor and a nobel prize winning laureate and when we meet people in life this we are sometimes in awe. There is such a competitive nature amongst the prestige of all these schools and I don’t feel that the people who attend them or that were chosen over myself are any better than me and you should not feel that way either.

I commend all you Harvard students and by no way am I saying you are not intelligent because you are, but you in no way are better than the other four-thousand plus undergraduates at that institution. You see? No one is really special when you look at it. There are thousands of valedictorians, hundreds of NFL football players, hundreds of Division 1 recruited athletes, thousands of class presidents around the nation. Are you special? No! But, I want to point out most importantly that the beauty of this is that we are all the same, which is almost a paradox. I can tell you this, the most influential people in my life are those who have been the most humble, and you may not realize it now but one day I hope you all look back on your lives and realize your purpose because sometimes our dreams do not come true but I feel that we must create a legacy for ourselves which is far greater than any great college can give you because by no means does it create a legacy for you. Instead of looking at how we can outdo one another and planning every facet of our lives I think we should just let everything “flow”, if you have dreams to attend Harvard and win a prestigious award by all means don’t give it up. However, your purpose should not be to center your life around that.
I do not feel threatened by anyone on this site or my fellow classmates or anyone that has a great deal of zeal in their schoolwork either. I think we all thrive on competitive and I encourage it, but to what point do we realize why we are doing why we do and that in the end you can’t be prestige, you can’t go around wearing it on your sleeve.
I wish you all luck, especially those who are applying to college this year because I know when I applied to college it was the most stressful year of my life and I do not regret my decision, and overall, I am content where I am now. I really just want you all to know that this site doesn’t define your success, people’s opinions do not define your success and going to an Ivy League does not define your success. I really want to emphasize again that a person’s perception of you doesn’t define who you are and pursue what you want anyways; I can’t tell you how many people I know right now who are eating their words. Remember that if you do not get into your dream school there is a reason why that happened and your life may take a different path you hoped. This site has been useful and emotionally jeering at times and we all have gotten caught in the competitive nature but don’t let it bother you.

If anyone reads this thank you and I applaud you for reading my “all over the place” thoughts.

Thank you for your thoughts. I am glad that you are happy. :slight_smile:

CC is like a barber for your ego; it can trim you down to size.

Great read! Thanks for sharing.

This is so true because I know so many kids that do everything they have to do to get into an Ivy League school because they feel like they have to in order to be somebody later in life and this is the only way to do it.

Although it’s far from the truth, it’s hard to always acknowledge that since we always hear so much praise for the Ivy League schools not only from our parents (who push us to aim at top schools) but from our classmates and society too.

But hopefully people start to realize that Ivy League schools are not the only options and be happy with their lives regardless of whatever happens with their college acceptances. Thats the mentality I try to keep during this stressful time and it’s threads like these that make me stick around CC :slight_smile:

It’s funny, I think over the course of my life I wanted to attend an Ivy League school for a total of a week, maybe. That’s a few days of wanting to attend Brown in 10th grade, and a few days of wanting to attend Yale last year. Somehow, none of the cities clicked with me that much, and I enjoy watching sports, so I wanted a good football program. I think people need to realize their life isn’t ruined because they didn’t get into an Ivy, because honestly, plenty of successful people didn’t go to top colleges. Go look at public flagships’ famous Alumni list and you’ll find CEO’s, Nobel Laureates, etc. just like you would at an Ivy.

This just made my day. Great read!

If I may ask, what college are you attending?

Well said!

@sanguinee your question is funny because it’s not supposed to matter which college OP goes to

Enjoyed the read, but you need to lay off the thesaurus. I’d recommend reading “Politics and the English Language”, by Orwell.

When you have “I think I can share some insight”, and then say, NO, we need “a PLETHORA of insight” you’re not actually enhancing your writing, just using larger words. If anything, it detracts; plethora really doesn’t make much sense in that context. You’re just sharing some things you observed, not an abundance of knowledge.

Dear crabsmack I like to use flavorful vocabulary and it may be superfluous or redundant but I do not feel the word choice is completely out of context. I understand what you mean though. As for the Orwell essay I know what you are talking about. I also agree with him, but culture says otherwise.

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Great post, but I have to agree with crabsmack. Your writing is too verbose for me.

Alyssaz, you are on your way! My D has said that the toughest challenge for her was deflecting many opinionated people during her college search. I, myself, didn’t divulge the name of her school until the last minute because it was that small and obscure and would’ve possibly “blown her cover”, ha. Today, she is happy to tell everyone where she attends. There is a school for everyone. While there is good/ great info to be gleaned for this site, I always add a disclaimer when referring my friends to check out cc. I tell them not to get caught up in the ivy “be all and end all” discussions.

While I agree with the gist of your message, it is hard to find in all the flowery writing. That won’t serve you well in life; if I were an employer I would dump this back into your inbox in a hurry, and fire you if you didn’t get over it in the first two weeks… NOT KIDDING. It may not matter what college you go to in the long run, but it DOES matter if you learn to write clearly and concisely to communicate your ideas.

I think my rhetoric is quite fine. Thank you very much

…I think your writing is fine

Did you really mean to say emotionally jeering, or perhaps did you mean to say emotionally jarring.

And yo posted elsewhere that you are not happy and considering a transfer. Will you use cc to help you with that as well?

hard for me to read as well - sorry, but it might help you refine if you do hear it is hard to read.

I’m considering because I am a commuter. Which doesn’t contradict anything here because I didn’t mention rely anything about my school. I just don’t like commuting so it gives me a different perspective of the students kind of that in group vs out group thing.

I also do not like how religious my school is. It’s not like any other Catholic school notre dame or BC. We are probably one of the most catholic institutions. Although I am catholic some things annoy me because it is hard to have an opinion that would be against religion there.

However, every school has there cons. There is always going to be something you don’t like and mine are religion and commuting. Though I am very happy with the rigor of academics and opportunities there.

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