<p>I read about a man whose mother told him, whatever you do when you go to college, be sure to go to college more than 500 miles from home. The man grew up in northern Alabama, pursued some challenging extracurricular activities at the national level, and eventually applied to and was admitted to Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton, preferring to enroll at Princeton. After finishing his Princeton undergraduate degree he worked on Wall Street and prospered there, pursued a graduate degree at Stanford for a while, and has now formed a nonprofit organization to encourage young people with his extracurricular interests to reach the highest level of performance. Nice. Retire in your thirties to do what you really want to do. (He also lives in a new part of the country now, with flawless weather.) </p>
<p>By contrast, I grew up near my state's State U, and only applied there. I attended State U, usually commuting from home or from apartments shared with roommates from other parts of town. I first lived far away from home more than a year after I finished my undergraduate degree, when I went to live overseas for what ended up being a three-year stay. It was great to really spread my wings in a place with a new language, new culture, totally different climate, and strikingly different cuisine. </p>
<p>Moral of the story: I think the advice to go to college far away from home (which only a minority of college students do) is good advice. Apply widely, and see what happens about admission results. It may be that applying out of your home region raises your chances of admission at some colleges. If faced with a choice of more than one college that has admitted you, attend the one in the place most distant from and different from home. Get learning benefits from the environment of the college as well as from the classes at the college. </p>
<p>There are exceptions to this principle my family recognizes. We expect our oldest son to apply to State U, my alma mater, because even though it is nearby it is a strong college in his probable major subject and it offers good affordability. It should serve as a "safety" college for him. We also encourage him to apply to the U of Chicago (but in all cases he gets the final decision on where he applies) because it's just too good to pass up, even though it is only a day trip by car away from here. </p>
<p>What do you think? Do you expect to apply to any far-away colleges? What nearby colleges are good enough to apply to, even though you have been there and done that already in living in your home region?</p>
<p>Our family uses a similar principle. We took a map and drew a circle at 300 miles radius, with home at the epicenter. All colleges had to be outside of the circle. We want the kids more than a comfortable weekend drive away. The closest school S1 applied to was 1000 miles away. S2 (hs soph) is just starting to compile a list, and the closest school is just barely outside the minimum distance (but it’s Georgetown, so we’ll be generous with our mileage calculations).</p>
<p>S1 has definitely enjoyed the experience of meeting kids from all over the country and the world, and has had a chance to explore a whole different region of the USA. He ended up about 2800 miles away from home and definitely was one of the farthest from his high school – where most kids stay instate, or at the furthest, go to a school in Boston, 2 hours away.</p>
<p>Although we encouraged D to spread her wings and apply away from home, she was willing to do so only up to a point. More than 2 hours by plane began to seem like way too much hassle when you have to factor in getting to the airport and flying primarily during peak vacation periods. Also, she wanted a small school, and frankly, small LACs in the midwest didn’t feel so different from those in the northeast or mid-Atlantic region. Yes, each school has a distinct feel, but it didn’t seem to be informed by its location, except for those in the south. But the southern LACs felt too different, because of the heavy Greek life. Bottom line: D chose a school 3 and 1/2 hours away by train. We are very happy at her choice, but it is irrespective of the location.</p>
<p>The closest school S1 applied to (besides the in-state flagship) was seven hours away. Where he’s actually going to attend is about an eleven hour drive or a two-hour non-stop plane trip. Sticking close to home was never on his radar (nor on his younger brother’s, it would appear). </p>
<p>All those years of traveling and having a mom who grew up as an Army brat seems to have had an effect. On the other hand, we know of kids for whom more than an hour away was too far.</p>
<p>Persoanlly, I’m glad to see my kids stretch their wings, even though I will miss them terribly.</p>
<p>I wish all parents in the New England area used this rule so that my west coast kid could have more chance at the east coast colleges. We will not only consider 500-mile driving but also 3 to 4-leg flights with overnight stay in the airports.</p>
<p>We actually reached the opposite conclusion and agreed it would be best if our kids were less than 300 miles away from home for college so that they could easily come home for holidays without having to take a flight. The eldest D will probably end up going to med school so she will have plenty of time to spread her wings. She will also take a semester abroad and will have other opportunities to travel. Adjustment to college can be a stressing experience and a smooth transition to adulthood has benefits for many. In most countries, students commute to college from home. The idea that one needs to move far away from family and friends is a fairly uniquely american phenomenon. It is not clear that many 18 year olds have the necessary maturity to really benefit from the experience.</p>
<p>Wow, you are a brave traveler coolweather. Personally 500 mile driving is not too tough, but a three or four leg flight with airport overnights is, unless its to a destination like Hong Kong…</p>
<p>Wouldn’t work for my d. She wanted winter (sorry, coolweather, but we’re in the Northeast) and absolutely hates to fly. She ended up about 350 miles away, and still meets kids from all over the country and a fair number of internationals.</p>
<p>If you are in Kansas, this is an OK ‘principle’…but as someone above noted, people in the mid-Atlantic or New England would eliminate many great opportunities. I live 70 miles west of Philadelphia…for my kids this would eliminate Boston (in fact, most of New England), NYC, Philly, Baltimore, DC, and even down into VA and NC, and west out past Pitt, Cleveland, and OSU.</p>
<p>That’s just plain silly. I am surprised there are not more West Coasters trying to push this ‘principle’…certainly would cut down on people applying to this large swath of colleges. I certainly would encourage my kids to look everywhere…if they want to go to CA, great. If they want to stay in PA, that’s great too.</p>
<p>Both DW and I attended school 2000 miles from home, but now that we’re on the other side of that discussion we’d prefer our children to be closer. We looked/are looking from coast to coast and we leave it up to the DDs to decide where to apply. I force the issue only by making them apply in-state for some small state scholarships. And finances do come into play for school selection. But both know that even if they go to a local school I don’t want them living at home or coming home too often. College is a time to grow into yourself.</p>
<p>My guess would be that the parents of the guy mentioned by the OP encouraged independent thought and risk taking from an early age, both of which have been shown to result in success. I suspect the Alabaman in question would have done equally well at the state school.
There seems to be a lack of understanding among current parents about how much is actually learned from failure/mistakes.</p>
<p>The man I tell the story about was indeed encouraged to take on a lot of challenges and not play it safe when he was young. But I don’t think, from having corresponded with him, that he thinks that State U would have been just as good for him as the Ivy Plus colleges that admitted him.</p>
<p>My S is looking cross country only. We’re on the west coast, and he will only discuss east coast schools. We are, however, doing a Chicago area trip as that would be easier. He wants to experience something different. While Southern California is certainly diverse, it is still a different world to go to the midwest or east coast, and he is looking forward to that experience.</p>
<p>Our parameters is no more than 50 miles from an airport we can get to non-stop from LAX. Coolweather, you’re brave…I’ve experienced far too many delays/cancellations at smaller airports to contemplate regular connections.</p>
<p>I totally agree with this advice. I have lived in the same state my entire life and wish I had the opportunity to live somewhere different (still have hopes for retirement, though). D is in college in Minnesota, S is looking at colleges in a colder climate.</p>
<p>D1 started off only about 60 miles from home, but by the end of year two, the family moved nearly 900 miles away. The added expense and logistics after the move were formidable at times. We all missed some desired experiences because travel time, expenses, and other obligations made it too impractical. </p>
<p>This is not the same circumstance presented by the OP, but I would suggest the value of going far away is interdependent with the type of family and student involved. I imagine such advice could result in miserable circumstances for quite a number of families depending on the dynamics. </p>
<p>D2 is going to school 900 miles away beginning August. I think she’ll have a great experience, but still wish it was much much closer.</p>
<p>What if your child does not want to go anywhere? My D has 2 schools on her list that are out of state. They are huge reaches. If she doesn’t get in, she is planning to go to State U AND live at home. I am trying to get her to branch out, but she is not interested.</p>
<p>^^ I would love to have parents with the same mindset as you. My parents are against me going anywhere more than 3 hours away by car. If I had my way, I’d stretch it to 3 hours away by plane.</p>
<p>I think there are real advantages to being far enough away from home to really immerse yourself in the college community and not be tempted to make frequent weekend trips back home. But anything longer than a 2- to 3-hour car trip should be enough to take care of that, perhaps a bit longer if it’s a small school in a small community. Bigger college towns tend to have enough of a center of gravity of their own that there may be a little less temptation to bolt for home on weekends. On the other hand, you don’t want to have the travel logistics be so complicated that it’s difficult for S or D to make it home for major holidays or family emergencies. We’re fortunate to be situated midway between the coasts near a major hub airport with good connections to just about everywhere in the country, so even though D is mainly interested in colleges in the Northeast and on the West Coast, most will be a 2- to 3-hour nonstop flight away.</p>
On the other hand, we know of kids for whom more than an hour away was too far.</p>