<p>Well, if you consider a few hundred miles is far, think about allow your kids going overseas for college…As long as it is good for their careers, that is OK with us.</p>
<p>Our plan is to eventually move to a place that is so attractive that the kids will want to visit. Still need to fill in the blank, however …</p>
<p>Misterk,</p>
<p>Haha, That is a good one. Let me know when you can fill in the blank. Maybe it will be a place that will be a nice change to the hectic city (NYC) for DS. Though I guess he now has the quiet of the suburbs with the vibrancy of the city. We did have a property on Fire Island, but that place was a lot of work! Though being close to the ocean is certainly beautiful and magical.</p>
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<p>She’d also need to forbid them from dating anyone from out of state. ;)</p>
<p>You never know. I grew in the suburbs of Boston, within walking distance of the subway line into Boston. Went to school in Cambridge. First job was in SoCal. Worked there until I retired. My kids got to know all the operations of a jetliner real well on their trips to visit the grandparents.</p>
<p>I went to state U in Illinois, moved to SoCal for career, married here and here I have stayed. My brother went to school in Providence, RI, visited me in SoCal and found a great job out here. And he’s made it his home too (transplanting his FL raised, Boston universitied wife here as well). Then my dear parents, noticing their empty nest had flown west, sold the Chicago suburb family home and moved out to SoCal, too! I ran away from home but home followed.</p>
<p>Our son didn’t want to go to college more than 90 minutes from home. Now he lives on the opposite coast, with a great job he got after graduation.</p>
<p>It is common to go far away for some years, during the 20’s, and sometimes people move back “home” when they are really ready to settle down. Some cultures even institutionalize this period of exploration and wandering.</p>
<p>Once students enter college, they are also entering a global world that includes people from all over, work and study opportunities abroad and across the country, and exposure to many influences and cultures.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine wanting to restrict these things, simply to keep a child closer.</p>
<p>One of our kids has health problems and cannot go far, at least not for now. Such a limit on her free choice feels agonizing.</p>
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<p>Yes. My mother and stepfather moved a thousand miles away just after I graduated from college. In the meantime, my new husband and I settled on the opposite side of the same metropolitan area where we grew up and didn’t move out of the area until we were in our forties.</p>
<p><<And conversely, my sister went about 800 miles away to go to college, and then my father changed jobs and our parents moved 50 miles away from the college.</p>
<p>Sister wasn’t really too pleased, as I recall. >></p>
<p>LOL!!! OMG - thanks for the morning laugh, Sikorsky!</p>
<p>I think trying to “plan” for anything like this is silly. Yeah, I’m a Mom and we are in TX and our oldest is in Pennsylvania. It’s hard. I do miss him dearly - but this is just part of the growing up/letting go process. </p>
<p>My MIL wanted DH to go to school down the road in PA. He said “No way” and ended up in DC, about a 3+ hour drive from his hometown - so that made her reasonably happy. But that was undergrad school. He ended up in NC for grad school and then in New Orleans for his first job, where he remained for almost 20 years - marrying a local gal (me!) and having kids. Since then we have lived in Oklahoma, Texas, 2 locations overseas, now back in TX, and considering overseas again (but this would just be the 2 of us).</p>
<p>And me - I went to undergrad and grad school, got my first job, got married and had kids - all in New Orleans. Yes, we were there with my parents when my children were young, but we moved away when they were 6 and 7 - and haven’t lived there since. During our years overseas, we were only home for about 7 weeks in the summer.</p>
<p>Absolutely the school choice should also consider if your S/D might want to stay there. That is actually pretty high on our list of why my son might want to go to a school. I am from CA and we live on the East Coast. </p>
<p>My son has spend time on both coasts and prefers the west. He expressed a desire to go to a school somewhere he would want to be even if the program was not as strong as one in state he had no desire to go to. I agree. College is also about starting life in the first place you live away from home and not just about the school. </p>
<p>And no one knows how life will go. We live in the East where my husband is from because we moved here for him to work in a family business. He never, ever thought he would leave CA to move back but we couldn’t pass up the opportunity.</p>
<p>My older 2 only looked at schools in a 5 hour driving radius of where we live. I was happy with that decision and they both ended up at the same school(4 years apart). It was great to be able to attend most of D’s games as she played D1 soccer. She is now living on the West Coast where she moved for a job oppty. Older S is living 2 states over. I see my D probably just as much. I have thought of the grandchildren thing a lot, as my D is much older now. But, she isn’t close to having grandchildren. I would probably have to move. I couldn’t stand it if I had grandchildren on another coast.
My senior S will end up anywhere from 1200-2500 miles away for undergrad.
So… you just never know.</p>
<p>I’d much rather my kids stay within an easier commute for college just for ease. All commutes are not equal. From Chicago to Atlanta is a long trip, but generally a straight shot. Chicago to Auburn adds either a puddle jumper or a two hr ride to the nearest major airport. You could get from DC to LAX easier. Several times zones away, but once you are on the plane, you’re on the plane.</p>
<p>Kids will end up after college in places for many reasons. Some because of, some in spite of, and some having nothing to do with where they went to school. My brother was an easy weekend drive from home. A year after graduation he left on holiday to Europe. He loved it, found a job and stayed. That was over 20 years ago. Didn’t see that one coming.</p>
<p>At least one of our kids location after school will depend on industry (provided he doesn’t change his major). There are specific ‘hot spots’ for that. He’ll go where the job is. We can get on a plane. I am a hands on, very attached mom…but I had my turn to fly-the-coop with no restrictions…I plan to give my kids the same luxury. Frankly, moving several states away for several years early in our marriage was the BEST thing DH and I ever did since both our families were local. WE finally got to be the grown-ups and live our lives, making plans with people our age without so many demands on time.</p>
<p>Don’t forget, life is what happens while you are making plans…and they change a lot with young adults.</p>
<p>Yes, easy logistics when looking at distant schools is a definite plus. We mainly considered cities that were a direct flight, with easy logistics from airport to campus.</p>
<p>I went to college in my hometown, so I’m thrilled to have my kids try out a totally different part of the country. I think it is part of the learning experience. My oldest misses home terribly and hopes to find a job within our state after graduation. He had no idea how important our area and lifestyle were to him until he tried something else. My youngest is applying to schools this year. I’m sure given his interests and personality he will end up living in a big city many, many miles from home. It’s all good.</p>
<p>I’m actually HOPING my son will go to college far away and stay there. He doesn’t have the typical attitude for those in our area. He lives on fuzzy time and is laid back. Ithink other parts of the country would suit him and may make for a happy life.</p>
<p>I think college and grad school are great ways to test a geo area. </p>
<p>Of course, I have more than 1 kid. I think if they all left me I’d feel a pull to follow at least one.</p>
<p>In 1997, after soph year of hs, S told us he was moving to H’s country of birth after college. 1999, went to college OOS, but only 2.5 hrs from home (UIUC). 2003 left for said country, visitng us now for Christmas, to be married there in July.</p>
<p>D goes to college 1200 miles from home. Spent last year abroad in 2 countries, one is H’s country of birth. Last Feb., while in said country, she told us she wanted to live there after school. After semester finished she stayed for an internship. She secured a job for this fall over there.</p>
<p>Guess where we are retiring?</p>
<p>^ I wasn’t even finished reading your post and was thinking…hummm wonder if they will relocate as well? ;)</p>
<p>Both my S’s chose instate schools (3 and 4 hours fr. home). Being instate does not guarantee frequent visits or lots of contact…we know. </p>
<p>S1 has graduated now. He’s in the military and will likely be spending some time in Afghanistan in the next 18 months. I’m NOT moving there.</p>
<p>I love and miss my offspring, sitting here with my empty nest.</p>
<p>However, my wish has always been for my child to go everywhere, do everything, see everything, and have as big a life as he desires, unrestrained by me. I will always be here, if he wants to visit, whenever and as long as he wants.</p>
<p>His life is not about me. I have to make my own happiness, and I work hard to do just that.</p>
<p>Skyhook, I love your attitude.</p>