<p>Another CC parent shared this on a different thread (thanks, beastman.)
While your kids are home for breaks, maybe you will be inspired to talk about some of this with them:</p>
<p>I wonder if higher suicide rates occur in families, when the economy is failing. I think that there are higher instances of sexual abuse with economic stress, as well. Maybe it’s not “just a college” thing.</p>
<p>As parents, we have an amazing ability to de-stress our kids when they go away. But sometimes we think they’re fine just because we don’t see them. That’s not always the case. Boys can be very closed about sharing this information. (Sorry if I sound sexist in this remark, but I have boys. My experience with girls is that they’re more open about how they feel.)</p>
<p>Being away from home is already stressful. Worrying about grades adds to that, as does getting along with the roommate in tight quarters. Then there’s the day-to-day hassles: being hungry when the cafeteria is closed. Did he/she like me? Did I sound stupid last Saturday night? How do I get into that class when it’s closed…and other registration issues. We should be mindful not to build up even more worries they can’t control, like the economy or a divorce (unless, that is, those issues directly impacts him/her and they can actually do something to make a change).</p>
<p>Okay, I’m not divorced or anything, but my son had a terrible…dreadful…time when he went away to school as a freshman. We spoke with him on the phone, but we didn’t know how bad was bad. He’s okay now, fortunately, but I so regret not recognizing the signs of depression and anxiety when he came home for the holidays.</p>
<p>One at Penn this past weekend. Very sad.</p>
<p>Maybe the results of raising a generation of overly sheltered, overly rewarded, overly easily praised hot house flowers who have the notion that everything is their oyster and there are no bumps in the road. Laying on present and future economic concerns and kid’s go on tilt pretty easily. I’m just saying, maybe.</p>
<p>I don’t know barrons, college is stressful and I think that young adults don’t have the perspective to know that even if things seem bad at the moment they will get better down the road.</p>
<p>Everyone is a winner. Everyone deserves a prize. Everyone will succeed. </p>
<p>There is a price to be paid for this feel good approach. But the people encouraging these ideas are not the ones paying the price.</p>
<p>I had not heard of anything at UPenn and so I googled it. Imagine my surprise when this article pops up.</p>
<p><a href=“The New York Times - Breaking News, US News, World News and Videos”>The New York Times - Breaking News, US News, World News and Videos;
<p>Talks about 3 suicides in a week. Seems fairly current until you read the date - Jan 1914! For as much as things change, they stay the same.</p>
<p>There have been student suicides for generations. Are there really statistics indicating an increase?</p>
<p>I don’t doubt that there’s an increase in the diagnosis of depression, but that’s not the same thing, and it could reflect increased attention to the problem and decreased stigma about seeking treatment, rather than a true increase in the problem.</p>
<p>I don’t think there is anything uniquely weak about today’s young people. The ones I know seem pretty grounded in reality – perhaps more than we were a generation ago.</p>
<p>I think that more people with known mental problems get to attend colleges today. Though not a bad thing in itself, it does probably increase the number of suicides.</p>
<p>Also, the education being as expensive as it is, there might be more pressure to succeed then there was in the past?</p>
<p>And I agree that constant pampering of self esteem through K-12 has its price too.</p>
<p>I doubt college itself has changed that much in stress over time. In my day if you flunked out you went to Vietnam. That’s stress…</p>
<p>Seems like there’s a common theme with many of these threads (not surprisingly). Helicopter parenting…deciding if a son’s major is a good fit…and how much involvement is too much…if a son/daughter does well in school, is that because of “good parenting” (POIH)…and now this one about suicides in college. Wow are we involved! </p>
<p>Of course, if a son/daughter does well, we “must” be a good parent (so says one CC-poster). Then, what does it say about your parenting skills if your son/daughter flips out…or worse, commits suicide?</p>
<p>My brother committed suicide when he was a Sophmore in the early 80’s at one of the UC’s while going through finals. He left a note not to be sad, that the world was too painful for him. 25+ years later, his impulsive act still greatly impacts our family. He was definitely NOT an entitled young man nor one who had no choices. Life is hard and complicated. Suicides seem to happen in clusters at a school. My heart breaks for all the families and the students who felt there was no other choice.</p>
<p>PrimetimeMom: I am sorry about the loss of your brother. How difficult and painful that must be for your family. Having lost my oldest daughter (not to suicide) when she was 11, I understand the impact of losing a close family member on everyone - especially siblings. When it comes to suicide (and grief) generalities really can’t be made - each circumstance is different just like people’s grief. To me, it is perfectly understandable that your brother’s death still impacts your family 25 years later - it is a huge, unexplanable loss that has forever changed your family. Eight years after my DD died, I still feel the loss immensely (although my coping skills are better now) and see how it has affected her siblings. Yes, they are growing up well given everything, but their perspective on life is different from others. Our family was shattered and though we continue to move forward, we will never be whole. Sorry if I got a little off track here, but I wanted to respond to your post.</p>
<p>Just happened to be talking about this article [Suicide</a> Rates Rising Among Asian Americans : AsianWeek](<a href=“http://www.asianweek.com/2009/08/14/suicide-rates-rising-among-asian-americans/]Suicide”>http://www.asianweek.com/2009/08/14/suicide-rates-rising-among-asian-americans/) in another thread earlier today. The pressure to achieve and to succeed, especially in these troubling economic times, is a dangerous combination.</p>
<p>Don’t you just love that kind of article? </p>
<p>Sensational Headline: ** A ‘national crisis’ of student suicide **</p>
<p>Which the OP changed from “crisis” to “epidemic”… well, an epidemic is a crisis isn’t it? (shrugs)</p>
<p>And the article itself offers not one shred of evidence that student suicide rates are rising.</p>
<p>I believe it is a serious problem, but please don’t tell me it is a growing and worsening problem without some numbers to back up your claim. </p>
<p>This does not qualify: “The percentage of students who reported a diagnosis of depression rose from 10.3 percent in 2000 to 14.9 percent in spring of 2008”</p>
<p>Reporting a diagnosis of depression and a national crisis of student suicide are not the same thing.</p>
<p>^^^ The subtitle of that article was “Colleges are straining to help young people who are struggling with depression and mental health issues.” This is true. Mental health issues have long been the ■■■■■■■ stepchild of the medical community, often dealt with in hushed tones or kept quiet in other ways. Only this year did mental health get parity coverage under one’s insurance benefits. Until now, mental health benefits were often capped at low amounts, or subject to significantly diffferent copays or co-insurance payments by the patient. Mental illness , stress, depression, adjustment disorders, etc are <em>real</em> issues. If it takes a tacky, “sensational” headline to call attention to this often underserved and oft misunderstood population, then so be it. </p>
<p>nngmm-
Many people with “known mental problems” DO get to go to college, and SHOULD get to go to college, with the proper support and assistance. Not everyone with MH issues is like the VA Tech killer. The stereotying, insensitivity and stigmatizing by some of the posters here is distressing, to say the least.</p>
<p>Sad to me is that suicide screening is being de-emphasized by insurance companies. Last Sat. was National Survivors of Suicide Day, established by Sen Harry Reid</p>
<p>
Thank you, Marian - I don’t either. A young person’s suicide is a horrifying thing, unimaginably painful for the survivors. Many, perhaps most, people attempt to distance themselves from the topic by assigning blame to the the parents or to the child him/herself. “Suicide! Must have been bad parenting (helicopter parenting or cold, distant parenting - you can fill in the blank here to reinforce your own biases.) But I’m not a bad parent - I’m a good parent. This couldn’t happen in our family because I raised my children the right way. So I can cross this one off my worry list.”</p>
<p>My brother-in-law committed suicide at the age of 23, while he was a senior in college. This was more than 30 years ago, and I still ache for his parents, especially when I read the beyond-insensitive comments on this board. They were wonderful parents and did their absolute best for their son, who developed a serious mental illness in late adolescence (when mental illness often first manifests). The suicide of a child is an equal opportunity tragedy. It happens to good parents and lousy parents, helicopter parents and distant parents. You can’t guarantee it won’t happen in your family, no matter how much blame you assign to those who’ve experienced it. But blame on, if you need to.
Yes, it is jym. But some CC posters are compassion-deficient, and apparently damned proud of it.</p>
<p>
Absolutely. All I am saying is that it is one of the reasons why “colleges are straining to help young people who are struggling with depression and mental health issues.” More people with mental issues get to be in college today, thus more students are struggling with depression, etc., and not that being in college somehow causes more mental issues</p>