<p>I don’t think a HS guidance office is out of line by spreading the word that lots of students are getting financial aid. This puts lower and middle income families on notice that help is available, so they really can afford to consider schools that seem to be out of reach, cost-wise. And if you’re not offered need-based aid, it just means someone has decided you are less “needy”. No shame in that.</p>
<p>As for merit aid, many of the most prestigious schools don’t even offer it. So there’s no shame in not getting that, either. Some of the “Avis” schools do use merit aid to try to lure a few top students away from the even more famous “Hertz” schools, or away from a less expensive public university. But it’s not as though most students get a big bundle of merit aid, and they expect you to enter by the back door if you don’t. Again, the guidance office may be doing the HS community a service by letting people know these grants are available from schools they might not have considered.</p>
<p>I do think that posting award amounts, whether merit or need, is in poor taste on the part of the announcing high school – whether parents eagerly offered such info or were solicited for it by the administration. Nevertheless, be very aware that if you do not want your students to discuss finances and awards with others, then withhold as much info as possible from them. (Financial aid envelopes were always addressed to me, not to my daughters.)</p>
<p>Teens talk. Period. They compare GPA’s to at least the hundredth place if they know that. They reveal, test by test, essay by essay, their grades (often) to other students. They reveal financial circumstances at home sometimes. (“Dad lost his job”; “We might have to sell our house,” “I qualified for the fullest need aid that the college gives,” “I hardly got any merit (or need) money.”) They tend not to reveal info to peers only if they are embarrassed by such info (positively or negatively) or believe it will endanger them in some way (affect a friendship, jeopardize an academic or social standing, etc.). The more aware and sensitive and mature ones will also shield their parents from embarrassment if they are aware of that, but often they are not as keenly aware of how revelations could similarly affect their parents within the same community (naturally).</p>
<p>When I do not want financial info to leak outside our 4 walls, I do not share it with my children, period. It also puts them in the position of maybe having to lie (which may make them uncomfortable), or to feel guilty if something confidential accidentally slips out.</p>
<p>[Just editing to account for post 16, which I agree with. Another reason I have for minimizing financial info is the likelihood of it being distorted through misunderstanding.]</p>
<p>As a student, my peers are very competitive when it comes to merit $$. Someone would say “yeah i got into X school but so did so-and-so, but I got more money.” It’s weird. And others would say “well i didn’t apply for FA so i didn’t get merit aid.” Personally, a lot of people in my school are about the prestige and don’t have a clue about money/economy, and/or a clue about admissions. I just ignore them. I actually don’t even tell my gc b/c he doesn’t even seem to care really, lol.</p>
<p>EDIT: sorry, that was a bit off-topic. I’m just annoyed with the economy and college plans.</p>
<p>That’s an odd use of the word entitlement. </p>
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<p>Your daughter is going to a great college and you can afford to send her. Why in the world do you care about this?</p>
<p>Apparently this a new trend for you but the fact is that for most Americans affordability is the key issue in which college their child attends.</p>
<p>Hi. I care about this because I think kids should feel really good about their achievements academically and keep the financial element out of their conversations with the other kids at school. </p>
<p>I am new to this process and although I am 100% aware of the incredible cost of a college education I am surprised it is shared so opening. </p>
<p>Finally, I do believe that some that post on this board do express shock over what they feel are unfiar financial aid / merit aid awards - and that why I used the word entitlement.</p>
<p>Way back when, I got a financial aid award from the college that I attended, that included grants, loans, and work study. To me, there was nothing to brag about, since the reason that I got it was due solely to financial need. It was not any easy school to get into, and I was grateful to be able to go. Even in graduate school, the bulk of the aid money offered to anyone was due to financial need, albeit that the school I attended did have a precious few named fellowship type things that were based strictly on merit. No one seemed to envy my poor family and my need to work my way through school.</p>
<p>I realize that today, that the school that I went to has eliminated loans for many, and I am not that good at extrapolating decades old income numbers into todays money, but I probably would not have had loans under today’s analysis. I would have felt a lot happier about not having to take out loans. However, the no loan schools are few, and I think most who receive financial need grants as a group do need loans in order to attend.</p>
<p>I also was told by my D that one of her schoolmates siblings received a “merit” scholarship to Princeton. I found this odd, and told her that it was my understanding that Princeton awards money solely on need, which is what I believe was the case with this child (I knew the family). I think there might be a very few other named scholarships non need that are at Princeton or other similar schools, but I know that this is not usual. </p>
<p>Anyway, I don’t think that people don’t like to go around saying they got the money because they otherwise could not afford it, so they say what they find to be more palatable. I think there is a myth of people who get need awards who really should be full pay and somehow played the system. I think it could happen, but if it does, it is not that often.</p>
<p>I’m a student, but bragging about high merit scholarships isn’t any different from bragging about a very prestigious school…people are proud of themselves and have gotten in from merit. If you have no problem with someone saying “I’m going to <em>Ivy</em>”, why is there a problem with someone saying “I got a full ride merit award from ___”?</p>
<p>"As parents we knew that we would have to pay the full $ for my daughter and had no expectations otherwise. Would I have liked her to get some merit aid, sure, but none was given and I am ready to pay…I guess… "</p>
<p>If only this was possible for all families. Unfortunately, for many families the 50k cost of college is not affordable so FA becomes a big deciding factor. My kids want to avoid starting their adult lives in debt, so Merit Aid is a huge factor for them. </p>
<p>While bragging about Merit Aid (or about anything) is in bad taste, I don’t think that kids discussing schools and whether or not they can afford them is particularly a problem. Some schools offer great aid, some don’t. That’s simply a fact of life. It seems practical to consider money issues. Kids who think money grows on trees (or out of their parents’ wallets) aren’t well served for real life.</p>
<p>in our area the local newspapers publish the college acceptances as well as money received for each school. the schools seem quite competitive with each other as far as putting money received in the headlines of the articles</p>
<p>I was just wondering the same thing. This ranges from a little weird to downright tacky and tasteless (regarding the school that “publicizes” how much need-based aid is received).</p>
<p>What comes next? How much your mortgage is and how close you’d be to foreclosure were it not for your in-laws bailing you out? And tell me again what was the amount of that bailout?</p>
<p>At my son’s Catholic school, the GC asked about merit money (for her office) so they’d have an idea what to expect but didn’t publish it. They did put all the students and their schools attending, but that’s it. She mentioned that because it was a “working class” school, many students got into very good “top 25” schools but many couldn’t attend because the numbers were still too high. Most could just make the yearly tuition there and couldn’t go much over that.That year was the first in a few that had a large number of acceptances, but many attending our state schools. I don’t expect that to change now. They always had a few going to Yale and many sport scholarships to good schools, but not many that had just the choice of picking a school, and not worrying about paying for it. I think that is why my son said very little was said about scores, merit money, etc. just “Where are you going?” It was also an all boy school, so that might of lessened the chit chat too. : )</p>
<p>The scholarships that my son’s old highschool posts are not need awards from what I can tell. They are all scholarship and merit awards that are specifically named. The counselors want the actual letters from the schools and use the exact wording from those award letters so that there is no mistake. It is very helpful for future students because you can look at a school like Fordham U and say that John Jones got a $20K Loyola award and a $5K Ignatius award from another source which means that is a possibility for me. </p>
<p>As for self reporting from parents and kids, do take all of that with more than a grain of salt. Financial, merit, government scholarships all get mingled with even loans. I’ve heard of full rides that were mostly loans, as well as dollar amounts that were mostly loans. You can’t go by that at all.</p>
<p>At our kids’ high school, it is assumed everyone is full fare paying student. It is funny, but most of those parents would be embarrassed to let people know if their kid had to pick one school over another because of money. One kid was accepted to Yale and Duke, with full tuition merit scholarship at Duke, the parents made sure people knew they picked Yale because of the fit. College acceptances are reported, but not $$.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse, how would you discern this, (unless, of course, it was in your house)? I mean, does the neighbor say to you “yes, my son Johnny got a full ride”, and then after a few beers at the block party, confides “that full ride was all loans [hic].”?</p>
<p>“I think kids should feel really good about their achievements academically and keep the financial element out of their conversations with the other kids at school.”
Why?? Asking “how much money did you get?” is in no way a comment on those who don’t need financial aid, and it doesn’t “minimize” the achievements of other students. A low financial aid award is often the reason for turning down a highly ranked college, and it seems logical that a student would want to share that information when explaining their college choice. Large financial aid awards = low parental income, certainly not something to brag about.</p>
<p>Maybe the complaint is more understandable when discussing merit awards. Our high school does not publicize merit or need awards, but in the infrequent case of full rides, there is often an article/interview in the school paper, and of course the recipient must agree to have this appear as a news item. These nationally competitive merit awards (like Duke, Wash U, etc.) are pretty rare and classmates seem to enjoy learning what the student had done to win.</p>
<p>Kids are completing 12 years of being judged and graded for everything they do, sometimes running to the trivial like how many note cards you made for your paper. Many will see that where they get into college is the ultimate in the judging/grading/sorting process. As tuitions have soared, merit aid becomes one more measure in the judging/grading/sorting process. It is no surprise students want to talk about it. </p>
<p>Parents who at some level feel that their kid’s performance is somehow a measure of their own self-worth often like to have the put-down sorting conversation as well: “Little Jimmy got into Yale, where did Suzy get into?” This has now morphed into "Little Jimmy got into Wash U with a $23,000 annual scholarship, what did Suzy get? And, as someone above said, the “Suzy got into Penn but there is not enough FA so we can’t afford to send here there” may be a combination of bragging and lament (hardly an entitlement though). I suspect that many of us parents on CC succumb to deriving some aspect of self-worth vicariously from our children. (May we all achieve enlightenment when this is not the case, but until then …)</p>
<p>What is also not a surprise is that students and parents get the need-based and merit-based aid confused.</p>
<p>I do find some people who are very comfortable “clueless” with needing aid. I had 2 people, my dentist and a businessman I deal with it, go on and on on why my son didn’t go to Conn College if accepted. Besides the fact he didn’t like it, they gave us very little aid. It didn’t matter how many times I said it, they just didn’t seem to hear me. I finally said to one of them, “Excuse me, but you’d like to subsidize his tuition, I’ll contact the school now”
Then you could hear a pin drop : )</p>
<p>I’m ambivalent. Do I love the idea of private family financial matters getting talked about in the high school hallways? No. But I think it’s really important for more families–ALL families–to know that you don’t have to be rich to go to good colleges, and that a low-income smart kid is in a great position for generous financial aid. How do families find that out if nobody ever talks specifically about what kind of financial aid they get? </p>
<p>Sites like CC are great, but not everybody finds them. High school counselors <em>should</em> tell all families this stuff, but they’re overburdened. Word of mouth is an important thing in spreading the word about financial aid.</p>