<p>Moonmaid: Glad to hear you felt the same way. I was beginning to think I was losing my mind. My S is the same. Pretty easy going but we did go out of our way to find the snobbery, that people speak of, just couldn’t find it. We are also from Long Island and can be known for the snobbery thing too, so maybe we are use to it. I’m not sure but we really loved Vandy and aside from all that nonsense- the academics, freshman commons, and internships/research availabilty were amazing and thats the real reason my S would go there. The only negative was the fin aid. My S has already been accepted and the admisssion couselor stated that 60% of the students get 40K a year. I would be happy with just 15K. I would love more but I know that our salary would never get that kind of money. So we visited the fin aid office and the woman told us flat out that we won’t get a dime. I was kind of annoyed since they made it sound like they were so giving. I’m not sure how many people can come up with 57K a year and truly feel like thats affordable. In any case thats our only drawback.</p>
<p>^Dungareedoll, frazzled, and Moonmaid,
I have a son in a similar position in another school. I could describe him and his school in much the same way you’ve described your kids’ experiences. We, too, looked for the “bad” things we heard about at his prospective school. (“Bad” things that are similar to what you heard about Vandy.) And we, too, couldn’t find too many of them – though the rich, elite thing was fairly obvious and true. Like your children, my son has been extremely happy at his school (even though SOME of the characterizations have turned out to be true – they don’t bother him). My son is enrolled in the “school of the arts” at his college, which, as we’ve all acknowledged, does make things a little easier – more diversity, maybe more liberal (?), less partying (?), etc.</p>
<p>But some of his “minority” friends have felt like fish-out-of-water. People wouldn’t know that about them, unless they were close to them. But they DO feel out of place, often, and they have found a way to employ their sense of humor about it. (My son is white – non-minority.) They crack my son and the rest of their friends up – totally – because of their ability to express their observations about their school. Their perspectives are often eye-opening.</p>
<p>Anyway, I guess my point in all this is that even if MOST people don’t experience Vanderbilt the same way that the OP experiences Vanderbilt, it doesn’t mean that the OP is “wrong.” Her perceptions are obviously true enough for her. And no amount of anecdotal evidence of people who have looked for problems and not seen them will change that. For her, she has found herself in a place that doesn’t fit. Several of my son’s friends, at his school (not Vandy), have felt the same way, for many of the same reasons. My own son doesn’t feel that way … but he sees the “truth” in the “why” and the “how” of their perceptions. If that makes sense. :)</p>
<p>I do understand this - because my oldest has found some snobbery at Tulane. He is a scholarship, near full-ride kid who would never be going there if we didn’t have a somewhat modest income. But he also acknowledges that he did not take full opportunity to get involved with campus life - his girlfriend from back home came down his 2nd year and they kind of insulated themselves - she discouraged him from joining a frat that was known for brainy kids and he did not join clubs which he originally planned on doing. They ended up breaking up and he says now he wished he had done it differently, because he doesn’t feel that he made as many friends as he would have liked to. His first year friends ended up dropping out and one went a little nuts, and he made no effort to find another social circle.</p>
<p>dungareedoll and moonmaid, if your kids got a positive vibe, then they will probably be fine. My D also visited before she decided to transfer. She stopped and talked to people around campus, and she got a good feeling. SimpleLife makes some really good points, and frazzled1’s post is another story that did have a happy ending.</p>
<p>macaroni is like many students at many schools … it just isn’t working for her. My S is transferring from his school after a year. He attends this particular school because it has a great 6 year pharmacy program. He has changed his mind about majors, though, and he has no desire to stay at the school; the draw was the program. The campus is 7000 students, and the vast majority are either from rural areas or the inner city. He feels like a metro area suburban fish out of water. He doesn’t hunt … never fired a gun in his life & has no desire to start now. He isn’t into sports, and he enjoys wearing shirts with a collar once in awhile. Kind of the opposite of Vandy … he is no snob, believe me, but he just doesn’t fit. He would have stayed had he remained in pharmacy. He has friends, so it’s not like he was ostracized or depressed. He just would rather go elsewhere now, where he might find more students with whom he can feel a connection. No school is right for all students, and not all students are looking for the same thing in a school — so two kids at the same school can be happy (or unhappy) for entirely different reasons. If you look at it that way, it’s less worrisome that there is a stereotype that might not excite your child. If the gut feeling is that “this could work,” it just might.</p>
<p>Cost is a concern, of course, and that is an entirely different matter. Only your family can decide if the cost makes sense for you. Maybe you will get lucky & your child will be offered a merit scholarship.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your opinions, I really appreciate it. I really think that Vandy is a great fit for my S. Academically it has a lot to offer him and socially he is really easy going so I’m pretty sure he will be okay too.</p>
<p>Wow, I seriously did not expect as many replies as there are! O.O At least there’s a nice debate stirred up.</p>
<p>I should have clarified, particularly for woeishe. I started Vanderbilt AT BLAIR. I did substantial research (as in, researching colleges since the 7th grade), visited quite a few schools, and ultimately chose Vanderbilt because I liked the Blair faculty and because of the Vanderbilt name. My parents pushed very hard for the name on the diploma, especially my father. </p>
<p>Socially, Blair fit me like a glove. The people were great. The vibe I got from Blair during my visit was exactly how it was – friendly, artsy, and a little quirky. However, I knew I wasn’t going to stay a violin major, so I transferred to Peabody. It was then, when I transferred to the main body of Vanderbilt, that I really began to feel isolated, looked down upon, and uncomfortable. The academics were never a problem; I have been on the Dean’s List every semester and currently have a 3.6. It merely comes down to the comfort level among my fellow students. It isn’t the “survival of the fittest” atmosphere that bothers me; on the contrary, I thrive in an environment like that. It’s the attitude that if you’re not straight, white, and rich, you don’t belong – I am bisexual, Jewish, mixed-race, and middle-class. Believe me, I’ve tried about a thousand ways to “find my niche,” and they all seem to fall a little short.</p>
<p>Kelsmom described her son at his school having friends, but still not feeling comfortable. I am in the same situation. I have many friends at Vanderbilt that I will be sad to leave, but the overall vibe of the school is what is finally getting to me.</p>
<p>To wanderers: If you like, of course you may choose to think that I am an immature, overemotional child who needs to be coddled. I did arrive at college at age 16, after all, and was dealing with the stress of losing my father only four days after graduating high school (a boarding school, by the way, where I lived by myself since I was 14). However, you “know” Vanderbilt from your perspective, and I “know” it from mine. The purpose of this post was to describe Vanderbilt as I see it, and perhaps not how you see it. Isn’t that what this forum is for? I function quite well independently, but I enjoy being surrounded by people who are quirky nerds like me. Sue me.</p>
<p>To both woeishe and wanderers: I’m sorry that you took offense to my posts and felt the need to tear into me. That was not my intention. However, your semi-hostile responses did one positive thing – they reinforced my drive to attend my future university. So thank you both for that. 
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<p>Also, to moonmaid: there are a lot of Blair-ites who could have gotten into Vandy on academics alone. Whether or not your daughter is one of the wunderkinds with perfect test scores and a perfect GPA and a million extracurriculars, it is very likely that she will have to deal with a fair amount of disdain from the majority of Vanderbilt students simply because she is in Blair. Blair students are perceived as the dumb music kids here. It can sometimes feel like the administration feels the same way. I feel as though the Blair community is a great community that is completely disrespected by the Vanderbilt student body as a whole. </p>
<p>As I said, this thread is not intended to paint Vanderbilt as a terrible place. I began my original post by saying that Vanderbilt is a wonderful school, but not for everybody. I can absolutely understand disagreement with my perspective, but there really is no need to lash out at me for expressing it.</p>
<p>macaroni, out of curiosity, have you chosen a school for next year? Please don’t feel that you have to post that information, but I was just wondering.</p>
<p>Expressing opinions is encouraged. I love diplomatic dialogue. There is a difference, however, between stating that Vanderbilt just isn’t the right fit (which is something I can respect) and… </p>
<p>“If you are a wealthy applicant who is very concerned with outward appearances, if you don’t care about an arts or culture scene, and/or if you love football and insane pressure to conform to a set standard, Vanderbilt will be paradise for you. If you are an artsy person who sometimes gets paint on her jeans and doesn’t see the point in wearing makeup at 8 AM every day, look elsewhere.”</p>
<p>If you don’t understand why your post incurred so many responses or why it was incredibly inflammatory, then I don’t know what to tell you.</p>
<p>I’m always interested in threads like this. Here’s how they always seem to go:
“I don’t like this college, because it’s X”
Replies:
“No, it isn’t X.”
“It is X, but you should have know that before you went.”
“It’s only X for some people; others find a way to avoid X.”
“Every college is X.”</p>
<p>My observation is that “X” is different for different colleges, and those who are looking at colleges might want to pay attention to what it is. (For example, there’s a thread similar to this one in several ways about bad food at Amherst.)</p>
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<p>That isn’t relevant to this thread. The O.P. has claimed that her personal inability to find a comfortable social scene is because “if you are not straight, white and rich, you don’t belong” at Vanderbilt (post 26). That is utter bull. </p>
<p>I really do hope the O.P. is happier after she transfers. She didn’t find her niche at Vanderbilt, probably for a variety of reasons. But she has not identified any X factor that defines Vanderbilt. Prospective students should indeed ‘pay attention’ when they visit or otherwise investigate what Vanderbilt has to offer them, but if this O.P. dissuades prospective students who are not “straight, white or rich” from even looking into V.U., that is very unfortunate.</p>
<p>I agree with midmo 100%.</p>
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<p>None of our posts were hostile.</p>
<p>Midmo: I’m not trying to dissuade prospectives from even looking into VU. In MY EXPERIENCE, it has felt as though if you are not straight, white, and rich, you are isolated. That is SOLELY from my perspective, and other students undoubtedly view things differently – although I know that many view it the same way as I do. Vanderbilt is a very fine university with a lot to offer. As you said, I didn’t find my niche, despite a heck of a lot of looking. Obviously there are a number of students who are not part of that upper-class Southern elite category who are very happy at Vandy, and that’s wonderful. As I’ve said many times, it is just not the school for me, and I wanted to share my perspective before transferring.</p>
<p>Woeishe: you stated in post no. 13 that you agreed that you seemed harsh, so I figured it was okay to agree with your agreement with my initial statement. 
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<p>Wanderers: that is no more inflammatory that telling me that I should have done a tiny bit of research before I picked a college and that I brought this on myself, and yet I don’t see you objecting to that statement. People say things about Vanderbilt that are more certain than taxes and death (“The food here is awful. Period.” or “Expect to get crappy grades here.”), and that is not necessarily the case for everyone. My perspective is that if you are indeed part of that elite cohort of students, you will be quite happy here, and if you are not, you should consider other schools. That is all I have said.</p>
<p>Kelsmom: I have chosen another school. I’ll PM you.</p>
<p>First of all, perhaps you should read more closely. I would appreciate greater attention to detail so you do not attribute comments made by someone else to me. It leads me to believe you haven’t been paying attention to what anyone has said that doesn’t agree with your point of view. </p>
<p>“My perspective is that if you are indeed part of that elite cohort of students, you will be quite happy here, and if you are not, you should consider other schools. That is all I have said.”</p>
<p>That is not all you have said and it would serve you well to reread your own posts.</p>
<p>Wanderers, I didn’t attribute it to you. I really have no interest in fighting, so I would really appreciate if this didn’t spiral into a big ol’ internet catfight. :)</p>
<p>I thought the purpose of this forum was to express opinions and engage in civil dialogue. “Isn’t that what this forum is for?” Or was I mistaken?</p>
<p>It seems to me that you are having trouble engaging in healthy discussion and misinterpreting it for fighting (that’s unfortunate). You have also yet to comprehend your inflammatory posts.</p>
<p>Obviously, at least part of the “X” for Vanderbilt is that its social scene is dominated by the Greek system. The OP’s complaints are quite familiar to anybody who reads these forums, and they are quite often expressed at schools with a big Greek scene. This is not the case at many other colleges. And the responses are typical as well. Caveat emptor.</p>
<p>^^^Hunt, the OP joined a sorority and stated upstream that she will miss her sorority sisters. She didn’t like it. If the gist of her complaints is that she didn’t like the sorority scene, she should have stuck to that in her first post.</p>
<p>Instead, she said stuff like this:</p>
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<p>It may well have proven difficult for her, but as a blanket condemnation of Vanderbilt, it just doesn’t fly. It hasn’t been true for my son, or his girlfriend (who, BTW is a non-white, lower middle class, non-Christian immigrant to the US), or most of the other students I personally know at Vanderbilt. I also know a few who fit the prevailing stereotype. So what?</p>
<p>I have a great deal of empathy for young people who find themselves feeling like a fish out of water. As the first person in my family to go to the 9th grade (!) everything about college was a startling experience. I don’t remember playing the blame game, though. The OP is unhappy–the OP should go somewhere else. Her personal experience is not a justification for serving up the kind of negative nonsense that people who are determined to dislike Vanderbilt love to devour.</p>
<p>There are a lot of us on these boards with experience, either directly, or vicariously through our own children, that contradicts the OP’s claims. </p>
<p>Hunt: I am definitely not getting into the Greek scene debate with you, other than to say, for the millionth time, that I know a lot of kids who have nothing to do with the Greek scene but nonetheless have very active social lives. Vanderbilt isn’t that small, and it isn’t in any way isolated. If it were situated out in the boonies somewhere, nowhere near a city, or restaurants, or symphony halls, or music venues, and so on, then the Greek debate might be more relevant.</p>
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<p>Good heavens, Hunt! Do you honestly think that the very few students who ever post on this site represent a cross-section of Vanderbilt students? Or that those who don’t care either way about whatever the complaint of the day is take time out from their studies, jobs, service work and friends to respond? Caveat reader.</p>
<p>Have you ever even set foot on the Vanderbilt campus? I hadn’t until my son received a whopper scholarship offer. I hadn’t suggested Vanderbilt to him because the alums I knew back in the 70s didn’t make the place seem like the kind of place a kid like mine would like. Fortunately, he paid no attention to me during the whole application procedure and applied, unknown to me. What a pleasant surprise when we visited, twice, before he accepted. I learned a lot about making unwarranted assumptions.</p>
<p>macaroni, some of the assertions in your OP amaze me. I’ve read a lot of Vanderbilt criticisms over the years, but yours is the first to claim that administrators are more interested in rankings than students. I cannot think of a school with a more responsive, student-oriented administration.</p>
<p>There is a long tradition of gay acceptance at Vanderbilt; in one of your own recent posts you mention there’s an office of LGBT life and a newly colonized gay fraternity. When my d graduated in 2009, one the school’s most prestigious awards was given to a campus leader for, in part, his gay activism on campus. It’s terrible that you felt shunned for your faith. In fairness to Vanderbilt, shouldn’t we also point out that its estimated enrollment of undergraduate Jewish students stands at 15 percent, that it has a very active Hillel chapter, a Center for Jewish life, and a Kosher-certified kitchen on campus? There is a difference between “accepting” and “welcoming,” I suppose. But you state that students are shunned for their sexual orientation or ethnicity, which certainly isn’t either. </p>
<p>I do think that you might possibly have been caught in a “when worlds collide” scenario, because Vanderbilt has certainly changed in the past decade, as it’s become ever more selective. Some of those “uncaring” administrators have been actively pursuing a much more diverse student population, as one expects to find in a truly national university. There are undoubtedly those on campus who remember and uphold the school’s more regional history, traditions, and values. The influx of highly gifted new students - of all backgrounds - means that the old values are giving way - perhaps not yet to a point where you feel welcomed.</p>
<p>It’s your life and your education, and you deserve to attend a university where you feel a welcomed part of the community. That does not make any of your OP fair, or accurate. There is a difference between “I’m unhappy here” and “This is a haven for mean rich bigots who hate the arts.” If you re-read your OP, you’ll see why people object to its tone.</p>