I am going to throw all of this out here and see what I can learn. Thanks in advance for any feedback. I have a 9th grader that has always scored in the 99th% on pretty much every test taken. Usually the same section (reading comp) is weak but is dragged up by the other sections. Struggles academically. Mostly B’s and B-s. Maybe a couple of A’s (always math and science). The items that hurt the grades are largely forgetting to do things, forgetting to turn things in and writing (anything). The writing is baffling abysmal. Reads like a 5th grader wrote it. Yes really. Despite how this sounds, the kid is really smart, a hard worker and --usually–does the work. Only time the work isn’t done is because it was forgotten somehow. Cares deeply but just cant seem to keep all the balls in the air. Has an A one day and then it drops to a C because two homeworks were missed that were posted on a website that wasn’t checked …and blew a quiz. One of the confounding issues this year has been the large number of online requirements and activities: assignments may be listed on several websites. They have to actually submit things on a few websites as well as bringing in a printed copy and every teacher does things differently. Some announce homework others basically say just check the website. But, out of sight is out of mind. My poor kid is demoralized and frustrated. Poor social skills. No friends really. Gets along with everyone just no friends. I have noticed that there is a disturbing lack of awareness of nuance. For example: reading comp question asks to infer the author’s attitude. Somehow just cant see it. Has an amazing vocabulary but uses weird words in places that aren’t quite right. However, adults love the kid. Quiet but witty, polite. I am finally, after years of telling schools there is something going on, arranging for a neuropsych eval. Any thoughts or ideas welcome.
Sounds a lot like my son. As the executive function demands grew in high school, things became progressively more difficult. Concentration started to suffer, self esteem declined, he fell behind in work, finally major depression for most of 11th grade and a good part of 12th. I made a lot of mistakes along the way in my worry to figure out what was wrong and misguided attempts to keep him from losing ground academically. Getting the evaluation done now is a good idea. From your description I would not be surprised if he comes back on the high functioning end of the spectrum. PM me if you’d like.
@Center That all sounds remarkably like autism/Aspergers. You are describing my S2 to a tee. I’d bet the writing is more difficult when he is asked to write something that is not concrete period, right? Such as what is the moral of the story and what does it say about our society? As opposed to give a brief history of the suffregette movement?
And the C may come in math/science from silly errors?
My D2 has a non-verbal learning disability that presents in a similar way. But there is no telling until the testing is done.
HRSMom: exactly. He has a crazy memory and will tell you every minute detail of what happened but he can’t tell you what it means to him. Or what the tone of a passage is. And yes. In general math and science is silly errors. For along time he would get points off in math for not showing his work because he can’t! He does it in his head.
Snowdog: thanks. I always thought he had some of the symptoms of Aspergers. Do you think a neuro psych evaluation will pick some of that up?
Also check for visual processing, tracking, and convergence deficits. Though I will say, my visual processing kid has great reading comprehension - if something is audibly read or he has extra time to read. Otherwise, same thing - much better at science and math (unless the math requires long, multiple steps - he drives his tutor crazy doing stuff in his head).
My son turned in to a better writer once I trained him on the formula. Thesis statement, topic sentence for every paragraph, intro, body paragraphs, conclusion. He’s actually a better writer than me in some ways because he is more logical. But it was like pulling teeth for a LONG time.
A nuero psych, and testing. The testing takes several weeks, but in the end is worth it bc you may be able to get him extra help at school. S2 is 15 and struggles in English, though he writes beautiful short stories. His teacher works with us bc he often just gives up and writes a few words just to be done.
@SouthFloridaMom9 I’m going to try that formula:)
@HRSMom - I hope it works for you. Suddenly last year, it occurred to me to really spell it out that way to him. He was in English Comp 1 for dual enrollment and had lots of chances to practice. Sometimes he would just write the thesis sentence, the topic sentences for each paragraph, and the conclusion first sentence. And write the rest later.
It is very painful for some of these kids to write. And my son tends to be a perfectionist so that makes it even worse.
My kid with some of the issues is a great poet. No one expects poetry to have smooth transitions, and a little bit cryptic is not a flaw. 
SouthFloridaMom9, I remember the many tears shed whenever the homework involved a writing assignment so I can relate to the teeth pulling image. My son was an early reader, and, at the age of five, he would rather read for an hour than spend 10 minutes writing the title of the book on the summer reading list. Fortunately, his writing skills slowly improved over time. My son is now a junior in high school, and he no longer cries at the thought of writing an essay.
This has been very illuminating. It would be a relief to have an independent party validate what I have felt in my bones for so long. Th e schools don’t want to be bothered…oh he/she is just disorganized. Not focused, lazy, etc. it’s very frustrating to have your child crying at midnight because they just can’t keep it all straight. Or because a teacher makes comments like your paper would be better if you would actually spend some time on it. While I saw all the late nights spent doing it.
^ Yes been there. A creative-type assignment that the teacher said should take a half hour would require hours, or days. In my son’s case this, didn’t manifest until after 9th grade, when lack of friends started to bother him and feelings of loneliness and depression coexisted with boredom with much of the work (biology, honors English - math was the one subject that he stayed plugged into for longer). You want the full battery of tests. A 504 plan that was created after testing is what enabled my son to graduate from high school. Interestingly, he is at a writing-intensive college and doing amazingly well.
Thank you so much
Snowdog: may I ask how kids like this are helped? I mean, what is there to do really?
Center - there is a whole range of help for kids that are struggling regardless of the reason. And there are a lot of students dealing with these types of issues in schools - much more than you might think. Examples -
Social learning demands minimized (“Socratic seminars” were a massive source of stress for my son which hindered his ability to learn).
Adequate time to assimilate old information before introducing new information and concepts.
Modification or adaptation of projects that require substantial written output so as not to overload his organizational resources and induce stress.
Explicit teaching of concepts other students learn intuitively or through observation; salient aspects of social situations pointed out to him and assistance developing a linear, sequential, systematic, step-by- step plan for addressing a situation.
Help with seeing alternative possibilities for solving a problem. At these times he will benefit from adult assistance in shifting sets and considering alternatives.
Teachers spell out time limits for assignments.
Tests and quizzes should emphasize his factual knowledge of a content area or well practiced applications of a concept or process, unless direct instruction is provided regarding inferred and implied meanings.
There’s more, but you get the idea. Whether kids learn the material is what is important - not whether they learn the exact same way as the next student. What some of this meant in practice: my son made up one of his core courses online and got school credit for it; he had a writing course specifically constructed for him and another student; he couldn’t be penalized for lack of “participation” and so on.
Additionally, the high school social worker assigned to my son was instrumental: running interference with teachers - e.g., if they didn’t understand or didn’t implement the 504 plan; coming up with really creative nontraditional ways for him to demonstrate his mastery of the material; even stopping by the house some days when he was too anxious or depressed to come to school. I am still so grateful to that woman.
Thanks Snowdog: I am so discouraged. You must know how it feels. How can my kid be so smart and such a mess?
Extreme deficits sometimes go hand-in-hand with extreme gifts. There are people throughout history for whom that has been the case.
Don’t be discouraged (though I totally understand). Traditional school is just one thing in life. There are many other ways to learn, and to succeed, and to thrive. Your job is to help your son understand how to do that. He will get there.
My son, who has schizophrenia, went through neuro psych testing. It was very helpful. The psychologist said he’s very bright, but his overall IQ comes in at 100 now because of his slow processing speed. My son solved one puzzle very quickly, though - the doctor said most people can’t do it at all.
With these results, we were able to get him extra time on tests in college. When/if he wants to take professional exams, he will probably get extra time on those.
It was illuminating to see his strengths and weaknesses. I’m glad we had the tests done.
Thanks for the moral support and for sharing your experiences.