I am planning (finally) to have a neuropsych evaluation. ( We have tried several times in the past to get schools on board but it was the classic–he’s smart, his grades are fine stuff. Then I was on a waiting list for a year. However the issues always seemed a bit beyond the issue of academics/grades so I waffled.) I have posted before and I was hoping for some feedback from anyone that has been in the same situation or sees something familiar. My 16 (just) year old son is smart but quirky. We have always seen that he has struggled socially. No real friends but not an outcast either. Behaves like he is a few years younger than he is. Can be super silly and goofy and even inappropriate when happy or feels wanted or included --which then backfires. Seems to be behave oddly when self concious or uncomfortable Really high on all standardized tests always- but somewhat mediocre grades. B’s, occasionally an A- or even a C+. Doesn’t speak much unless spoken to. Yes and No and Okay. His writing is so bad that it seems like a 4th grader wrote it. Easily embarassed–super self concious. Seems to lack empathy. Poor eye contact. Kind of numb. Not much emotion. Yet loves our pets, patient with little kids so no antisocial weird stuff. Seems highly unmotivated. He is gifted athletically i.e hand-eye but a terrible performer. A star in practice but never does anything on the field. Often accused (I have done it too) of being lazy or not hardworking. Does this seem like processing? Like his brain is bringing in information that he just cant process fast enough to make good decisions or judgments or respond verbally? I just dont want to waste the neuropsych time plus he is very very opposed to it. And, he “Knows that we think he has mental problems” Thanks in advance.
It’s great that you are getting him a neuro-psych evaluation. They are amazing at teasing out what is going on. We knew, for example, that my daughter had ADHD but didn’t know about a couple of specific learning disorders, so the evaluation was well worth the (hefty) price. Good luck!
BTW, my daughter wasn’t thrilled about the Neuro psych testing- still glad we did it and now she is glad, too, as it’s led to some accommodations in college that are very helpful.
@Emsmom1 Thanks. If you dont mind my asking, how old was she when you took her? (My husband thinks its too late to bother)
We did not get the full evaluation until she was a junior in high school- I think she was 15 1/2 at the time. I don’t think it’s ever too late. She had been diagnosed at 8 with ADHD but it was a short evaluation, not a full one.
@Emsmom1 great-thanks very much
Can you tell me what sort of accommodations have been offered? We are going in for the parent consult for my DS 's evaluation next week and I am looking into what we should discuss with the MD. He was diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers when he was 8. The college recommends an “adult” pre college evaluation to see where he is now., and what baseline is at this point
OP, your son’s description very closely matches my daughter’s (word for word – the only thing I would add is that she has a huge vocabulary – but couldn’t write a coherent paper or even string many sentences together in class). She has been diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disability. First evaluated in 2nd grade, but we honestly didn’t do anything with the info because classes were going okay. Retested in 9th grade, started accommodations 2nd semester that year. Checked again at winter break of freshman year of college. She gets extra time on tests and use of laptop to take notes even in classes where they are not normally allowed.
My kid taught herself up react emotionally by watching and mimicking YouTube videos. She undertook this in secret around 9th grade, told me later. Her best source of friends was a gifted online group, then a couple of gifted camps she went to. Now in college she has found more friends, but her social group still isn’t huge.
@intparent Thanks very much. My son has a crazy vocabulary too. Scored in the 99th perc on SSAT and PSAT in vocab and math. Reading comprehension was markedly (not bad just significant) lower. Interesting about the “emotionally reacting.” We are thinking about having him taking a drama class or something to have to make believe emotions. I really appreciate your response.
PM me if you want to chat more or just need a sounding board.
@intparent would you share the name of the gifted online group?
It was COGITO – something that the Johns Hopkins CTY program offered to kids with really high test scores. She took the SAT (no extra time) in middle school, and we provided the scores to CTY in case she ever decided to try one of their programs. She never did a CTY program, but she got this invitation to join COGITO. She is still friends almost 10 years later now with some of those kids she met online. I don’t know if the forum is still running or not, though.
Thanks!
I think doing the testing is a great idea – there is no such thing as “too late.” I know plenty of parents who didn’t end up getting diagnosed, themselves, until their kids presented with issues and got tested, and every single one tells me that knowing about their neurological differences was a huge comfort/help.
My kids are both on the autism spectrum and have multiple additional issues, including dysgraphia for my son (his handwriting is atrocious and organizing his thoughts if not typing is nearly impossible) and a processing disorder for my daughter (which, yes, I’ll be in therapy for the rest of my life getting over all the times I tried to get her to “stop being lazy”). A lot of what you mention here sounds very familiar. FWIW, my daughter wasn’t diagnosed until halfway through high school, but I can tell you she for sure wouldn’t be succeeding in college now if we hadn’t sussed out what was going on and how to help her.
Here’s what I tell my kids, especially when they’re feeling frustrated or broken: There is nothing wrong with you. Your neurology is different, and although is causes challenges in some areas, it gives you tremendous advantages in others. This is frustrating right now but everyone has stuff that’s hard, and you’ll figure it out. (It helps, of course, that this is true! Both of my kids have areas in which they excel, and it sounds like your son does as well. It’s simply a matter of comparing/contrasting to remind them that their differences are sometimes good, too.) You’re not having him tested because he has “mental problems.” You’re having him tested because knowledge is power, and the more you know about how his brain works, the better you can support him and help him to be happy and productive. That’s it.
When I was 15 and finally got a neuropsych eval, I had no desire to do it and was angry that my parents thought I was crazy or something. I ended up being diagnosed with a processing disorder, ADHD and Asperger’s Syndrome and I am so grateful that I was because I was able to understand myself better. The evaluation can’t hurt and your son will come to be very grateful if there is something that helps him understand who he is and give him the ability to improve his life.
Accommodation recommendations will vary depending on what the testing shows. Aspergers/HFA kids are frequently hyperlexic. So the “large vocabulary” can be diagnostic. Glad you are getting the testing done sow, so the process for accommodations in school and on standardized testing can move forward. Tell your husband it is not too late, and as the poster above said, a LOT can be learned about oneself that helps with life and self esteem.
Definitely do the eval :). My daughter sounds a lot like your son, except that she is highly social and expressive (with peers, but she will not speak beyond one or two words to most adults), but academically she is similar (good standardized testing, mediocre grades, horrific writing [seems practically illiterate]), as well as in terms of quirkiness/poor eye contact. We took her for a neuropsych eval last summer, after a 1-year wait, when she was 14.5. It was very, very helpful. She has an IQ in the gifted range (which we knew from prior testing by the school), but also has dyslexia, pretty severe ADD, very slow processing speed, very poor working memory, and what they called “disorder of written expression.” These have resulted in a 504 that has helped a lot this year (her freshman year of high school) and have helped her a lot as well. She no longer thinks she is stupid . . . she now knows her processing is just different from other people’s. That alone was worth the price and aggravation of getting the eval for us.
I just signed up our 16 year old son for an evaluation at a university center for behavioral health. He has been on ADD meds for 3 years without much improvement, failed 2 semesters of math and 1 of English freshman year. Then got depression diagnosis this February (literally did no work the first 6 weeks of semester) and switched to Zoloft. He is close to failing English and World History. He flat out lies to me when I ask him about assignments. On the other hand, he is bright, creative, and all his teachers like him. He does well on standardized tests and enjoys music and theater. I am concerned about cognitive issues and gender/sexuality issues as well.
“I am planning (finally) to have a neuropsych evaluation.”
In my limited experience, these can be very good – with much more accurate detail than I would have thought possible after a relatively short and pleasant evaluation.
It sounds like you son has enormous abilities and potential, but also has some issues that need to be resolved. Figuring out what those issues are and getting them resolved well is probably possible, and if this can be done before he goes off to university that would be very valuable.
Good luck with this process.
@jeannemar, I wonder why you are “concerned” about gender-sexuality issues. I ask because one of my kids is bi – but I don’t feel that there is any need for an evaluation related to it. I think I might if my kid were considering gender reassignment, but other than that I don’t see why any behavior/evaluation would be needed.