<p>Lots of us felt self righteous about some parental slight at your age. Lots of us were wrong. </p>
<p>“I fully intend to get a job and as far away from them as possible because of this.”</p>
<p>Someday, I hope you will appreciate the enormity of the gift they are giving you. Your comment is painful to read.</p>
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With all due respect, the more you post the more reasonable you make your parents sound. In your first post you were upset that by not going to CMU you’d be missing out on “better starting job leading to a career of better paying jobs” and claiming you “have seen studies that prove this.” You wanted to go into Computer Engineering and CMU was going to get you a wondeful job out of college. </p>
<p>Now you’re going to get a PhD. You don’t seem to be aware that the job market for PhD’s in engineering is entirely different from that of BS/MS holders. I am 100% sure you have absolutely no idea what those “really interesting experiences with a top level degree” would be, how PhD holders in engineering find jobs and who tends to employ them. You clearly have no knowledge that for a PhD it is the department and often the advisor that matters, not attending an “elite” university; the best programs in the country for particular specialties sometimes are found at a State U. And that whatever demand for CMU kids you are so upset on missing out on bears absolutely no connection to the job market for engineering PhDs.</p>
<p>@MYOS1634, I get that CMU is topnotch for CS, but CMU still isn’t Princeton, and certainly I can see why the folks wouldn’t equate the two. There’s a lot more to four years of undergraduate education than one’s major.</p>
<p>OP, you have quite an attitude of entitlement. Are you really THAT special? I suspect if we heard from your parents there might be more to the story.</p>
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<p>Are you writing the check or are your parents? If your intent is to “get a job…as far away from them as possible” after OSU, why are you taking their money? If you find their behavior that unacceptable, why don’t you get a job and pay your own way? It’s not really nice to let them pay your expenses while planning to punish them when you no longer need their help.</p>
<p>You know, maybe the reason your parents have enough money now is they have carefully saved it and made good consumer decisions over the years. Why did they let you apply to a variety of schools? Because we’re all told that there is scholarship money being tossed out the windows at universities and all you have to do to get it is apply. Well, we learn that that isn’t quite true and have to make a decision based on the final acceptances, scholarships, and family priorities.</p>
<p>My kids often want something better or more expensive than I’m willing to pay for. A $300 prom dress? Not happening even if all their friends have $500 dresses. A car, a new phone or computer or camera? I have to make the decisions on what we can afford and what I need to save for my old age (quickly approaching). It’s often hard to tell my kids no (sometimes it’s actually easy). Education decisions have been the hardest for me from K on. Should they go to catholic school or public? A charter or magnet? Do I confront the third grade teacher or let it go? Looking at colleges was equally as difficult as there are so many choice but only one chance to do it </p>
<p>If either of them resents the college education I can provide, they are welcomed to move far far way and be angry. I will have failed as a parent by raising an ungrateful child. </p>
<p>OP
Good luck with your school.<br>
And don’t resent your parents. I know some posters here are joking. It’s your parents’ money, not yours. Retirement fund goes before anyone’s college education fund. That what my parents told me. </p>
<p>I understand where OP is coming from: his parents let him believe he could go “anywhere” until time came to actually see what “anywhere” would cost. His parents don’t value his education so much and prioritized other things (that happens, without trying to find reasons or excuses : there are just parents who really believe it doesn’t matter where their kid goes or where they got into, some parents are selfish… Remember that some parents have reasons, and others don’t. Take the hand you’ve been dealt and turn it into something good.)
- OP made it clear that his parents didn’t say they’d pay for OSU, it just happens they found out OSU wouldn’t be too expensive and it turns out to be a great school.</p>
<p>OP: your parents are still paying for OSU, right? You don’t have any loans, you don’t have to take on a job. You’re in the Honors College. All in all, you’re in a pretty good situation because if you got into CIT, it means you’re likely to have great opportunities at OSU. It’s up to you to find them.
Getting a Master’s from CMU will get you as far as getting your BS from there and on top of it you’re likely to have a better undergrad experience. Sure that’s not why your parents picked OSU but that’s what YOU can do there.
Plan your top-notch CS/OSU experience.
Start by connecting with your future classmates, finding a roommate, putting down a deposit (QUICKLY if you don’t want to lose your spot) in the Honors Dorm, contact CS professors to see how you could help them and what classes you could be placed into. Start checking out classes you’d be interested in - in honors, in CS, but also in other fields you’ve never studied like (for instance - random picks!) cultural anthropology, jazz, Science and Society in Classical Times, etc, etc.
What matters is that your parents are paying for your college.
Take advantage of this to get the best possible experience out of it.</p>
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<p>This is simply incorrect. The prestigiousness of the college means very little in the grand scheme of things for a career in engineering. </p>
<p>A lot of high school kids are surprised to realize just how diverse engineering workplaces are in terms of alma mater. You will work with engineers from a wide range of schools - MIT all the way to Cal State Channel Islands, and everywhere in between. It’s also not uncommon to have a boss or technical lead who graduated from a state school. Imagine that!</p>
<p>Bottom line here, focus instead on which college is more affordable for everyone involved, and that fits you best.</p>
<p>I honestly apologize if I came across as entitled and pretentious. I’m thinking more with my heart and less with my head, some things have come out that I honestly would take back or rephrase. This has been my dream for a pretty long time and I really feel as though I had been led to believe that should I be accepted they would support it.</p>
<p>I realize now that expecting that much was misguided and I was being kinda a snobby pretentious kid, but having grown up with the assurance that college was on them I guess in some ways I do feel entitled to at least something. The fact that I was pushed into some pretty far down programs to make that as cheap as possible kinda hurts, and looking at in this light OSU is one hell of a blessing and I’m sure that I’ll find many who did the same that I did there. Not to put down schools, but I really don’t feel some of the others (although I have since learned UA has really solid engineering) would give me those opportunities or that experience.</p>
<p>I’ve seen my parents successes, and I’ve seen the cost associated with being a high ranking executive. They put the goal of gaining wealth over anything else, and I don’t think that is the goal I will choose to pursue in my own life. An engineer of any type can make more than enough to live a happy life, whether I end up in a ferrari or a camry matters little I’m starting to learn. Its more about enjoying the ride, of doing interesting, exciting, and hopefully somehow world impacting things, and to be honest I’m probably going to enjoy the ride of my years at OSU far more than I would have at CMU.</p>
<p>I really hope that came out a little better as I cool down, probably not 100% there yet though please forgive me. This isn’t an easy process for anyone and I’m more than a little bit stressed. I’ve learned more and more about OSU and I honestly really like what I hear every time. Would I rather go to CMU? Probably. Am I going to whine like a little b*tch about free college? NOT ANYMORE 
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<p>OP, I know you are hurting and I don’t blame you a bit. It hurts. I hurt a bit for you too. You worked hard, you are a smart kid and you got into probably the best program in the country, maybe the world. But as I said before, CMU is NOT the greatest college experience for many. Do read up on what I’m saying. IT’s not just MY opinion. I know the school well, and respect it’s prowess in the many areas, but it is a dysfunctional mishmash that just did not gel the way nice schools do. There is an edge, a stress that goes with going there, and if you want to work with some of the programs there, research there, go to it as a grad student. I think that CMU as a grad student would be truly a focus type experience. </p>
<p>But these are things that you can decide upon later. OSU is agreat school, much to enjoy and you should juice it for all they’ve got. One of the smartest guys I know did his PHD there in math and ugs that have the ability and are willing to go for it can go all the way there, the sky is the ceiling. It’s a great school. CMU does have its specialty niches, and after you finish there at OSU, you can decide whether you want to get a job or continue in school, and see where you can get in if that is what you want to do. I know CMU well, and really there is a lot more of the ideal college experience you can get OSU. With no loans from there, you can borrow and go on to CMU or some other school, and possibly get a stipend or work there even. The possibilities are endless. </p>
<p>Yes, some of your feelings are that of entitlement. I did not say anything because I could feel your hurt, but those NMF schools that your father was suggesting are dream schools for a lot of kids. Miami of Ohio is a fine school. The path your dad was leading you down is really pretty typical. He’s a business man clearly, and he does not want to invest a quarter million dollars in an undergrad education that he can see can be obtained for free and for him the difference just isn’t clear, and he could not give darn about ratings, etc. And it’s his money. I don’t agree, but I’m not a great business success either, and I have a weakness about schools, so, yeah, I’d probably do it and honestly we (DH and I ) should not. Our kids understood that and put every school over a certain amount off the table without a thought. There are a lot of top flight kids taking those NMF award, be aware and they do just fine. You aren’t alone in how your parents feel. </p>
<p>I am not sure why cptofthehouse is being so negative about CMU but I do agree that you will probably have less stress and more fun at OSU. I really am sorry that it is not working out for you since it was your dream to go to CMU . It shows alot of class to come back on here and apologize for seeming entitled and pretentious. All the best to you! </p>
<p>There are other ways than parents paying for it. For example, if you have credit, you can try to borrow from a financial institution. If not, you can try to borrow from grandparents/uncles/other relatives or other friend; or use such a person as co-signer on a loan. You can publicize your plight in a creative way in the news and hope some charitable soul will help you. Etc.</p>
<p>spoon! There are real problems out there. I doubt a kid from a wealthy family advertising their “plight” because they have to go to OSU instead of CMU would garner much sympathy.</p>
<p>spoon! it’s not possible for a kid to borrow more than $5,500 for freshman year. And how many grandparents/relatives do you think have 250k stashed somewhere ready to be given? o_O</p>
<p>Mods, is there any way to add [Resolved] or something similar to the title? There has been a lot of really awesome discussion here more in spite of me than anything, but now the thread has served its purpose and if a flame war broke out I’d feel awful. This is certainly a polarizing issue for better or worse.</p>
<p>To reflect on this journey, it’s been a crazy ride and I can breathe way easier knowing it’s done. I’ve learned a lot just about life from it.</p>
<p>There’s a part of me that wants to hate, resent, and give up on a lot of very old dreams…</p>
<p>The rest of me realizes just how stupid that would be. This closes a few doors, but looking at it honestly it really doesn’t close all that many. Graduating debt free from a school as strong as tOSU is an open door in itself. Now it’s time to make that happen.</p>
<p>Thanks to all who have helped, I probably won’t be back here for awhile it’s time to recover
-Matt</p>
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<p>Well, maybe not CSUCI, which does not have ABET-accredited engineering at all. But perhaps CSULA, CSUN, CSUSac, etc., which do.</p>
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<p>Well, it is their money, and tOSU is a fine school. But it would have been a lot better if they had laid out the cost constraints when you were making your application list, instead of leading you to believe that they would pay for more than they actually will pay.</p>
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<p>I stand by my earlier comment and it wasn’t tongue in cheek. </p>
<p>I think a private school education at a school like CMU is better than Ohio State honors. CMU is a much better place to go for engineering. </p>
<p>If this kid had been poorer, he could have gone to CMU. </p>
<p>His parents have been blessed with sufficient resources and an ambitious child and they CAN afford it. </p>
<p>They simply have different values than I do and I sympathize with their children. </p>
<p>OP, make lots of money and let your kids go where they want. </p>
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I want to change what I said before to this. This is the way to think of this going forward.</p>