Recently I got accepted to my dream school, Dartmouth. (!!!)
But even more recently, I’ve become more and more apprehensive about what seems to be rampant sexism/racism/homophobia/”old boys” mentality/administration cover-ups. I’ve read countless anecdotes online about how the social scene is dominated/controlled by privileged white frat guys and how freshman women (especially) are not safe in the frat basements. Yes, this probably sounds extreme–but it’s troubling nonetheless & I don’t want to enter the supposedly best four years of my youth regretting that I even applied.
TBH I had these grievances long before I hit that submit button (I visited, watched the Dimensions protest vid, read blogs/reviews/CC/The Dartmouth, asked questions…). But for some reason I had allowed myself to become blinded by (A) a Dartmouth friend’s dogged insistences that these were lies cooked up by ivy-jealous media, (B) remnants of that shameful, childhood (and obviously still strong 
) sentiment that ivy = elite = oooo so special, © my own assurances to myself that “it’s not really like that” and (D) my (& tbh also my parents’) nearly unshakable belief that I wouldn’t get in. And that last one doesn’t even count as an excuse. I remember juggling and actively suppressing these thoughts in my head while slogging away on that supplemental essay. Because….logic.
So are there any alumni/current students who can personally speak to these issues/party scene/hook-up culture/general daily life? Or any incoming freshman like me w the same worries?
(btw I’m an asian female)
Thanks to everyone in advance.
Welcome to the real world. You will experience sexism, racism, and homophobia in some area of your life. Ignore it, brush it off, and take this quote to heart:
Racism, sexism, and homophobia more than likely will not interfere with your day-to-day life as a Dartmouth student. The media isn’t “ivy-jealous” like your friend called it, but they’re just looking for things to report. You’ll be fine.
I don’t attend Dartmouth, but have a few friends there and at other schools where the “old boy” mentality still exists in the Greek life/social scene. If you use common sense, you will be absolutely fine. Don’t pass out in the basement of a frat house. Don’t leave your drink unattended. Don’t drink too much without friends around to care for you. Don’t leave friends behind. Always go out in a buddy system.
The “mainstream” social scene is almost always Greek-dominated at every school with fraternities/sororities. Many bars will allow fraternity presidents/chapter leaders get special privileges. However, you sound like you wouldn’t really be into the mainstream social scene (and if you are, I’m positive you could find some fraternity parties to get your feet wet and see if you like partying like that–they almost always let girls into parties). College is much different than high school in that you usually find a niche and party with them. You might occasionally go out (or go out every night), or you can stay in with your friend group and drink in the dorm/play Super Smash Bros/read/whatever you and your friends like to do for fun. That’s probably the social experience you’ll have (and that many non-Greek students have).
However, even if you do pass out in a fraternity basement (please try not to do this–always count your drinks/never put your drink down/have a close, close friend hold your drink if you go to the bathroom), you will more than likely be fine. Most fraternities are filled with extremely nice guys. There are some (Pike comes to mind at my school, sorry bros–“Can’t spell spike without pike”) fraternities that you will not want to party with/need to watch yourself around, but most fraternities are filled with people who don’t want to hurt you. You’ll find out what fraternities are “good” and “bad” before you go to their parties, and through word of mouth.
Here’s an anecdote:
I went to pick up one of my friends from an off-campus party at my school. She had had way too much to drink, and another friend and I were helping her get home. Now, the other friend was also very, very drunk; so it was me (male, if relevant) trying to get two belligerent drunken girls home. One of them fell, and I realized I couldn’t get them home alone. She was a bit banged up, and when some fraternity guys saw she fell, they ran over to me asking if they could help. At first, especially since this was right after the big UVA thing/before the story was revealed to be untrue, I was extremely hesitant to let them help, and I told them I would be fine. They insisted that we could stay right where we were, that they would just go get some water bottles. They brought out a case of water and three things of Gatorade, with a first aid kit.
We needed a place for the girls to lay down (that wasn’t concrete/grass), so we took my friends into the guys’ frat house. They let us rest there, helped me bandage up my friends from when they fell, and stayed up with us so we could leave whenever we were ready/once my friends sobered up.
Point of the story: not all of fraternities are bad, just use think before you act, and pay attention to the reputation of the fraternities before you party there. Most of the people I know in Greek life are the friendliest, most outgoing people at my school. The media likes to portray them as privileged, white monsters, but that’s not the case. For most fraternities, there may be 1-2 guys who are a bit creepy, but they’re kept in line by the other brothers and in almost every case would be kicked out/severely punished if they did anything messed up to a guest.
It is also good to note that Greek life does have a casual hookup culture.
TL;DR: Don’t be scared. You’ll be fine. Brush off racism/sexism/homophobia, as it will rarely affect your day-to-day as a student. Don’t assume all fraternity brothers are evil, privileged white guys who’re out to get you–but still be cautious and keep your wits about you when you go out.
thanks for the swift & detailed reply! ill definitely be careful (as a general life rule), and ill be looking for some activist/social justice groups to join (I agree about not letting these issues mess up my daily life, but also I think they must be confronted)
thanks again! 