<p>Hi there. I was just accepted into my top school of choice EDII and was offered $50k financial aid (all of which were grants and work-study) at a school that costs aprx 51k.
I was totally excited when I was accepted and offered this AMAZING package... until I told my dad (who is really vocal about me leaving the state). Long story short, he yelled at me and said no.
I like on the west coast and this school is on the east coast.</p>
<p>What can I do to convince my dad to allow me to go to this school? EVERYTHING is ready and all I need is his approval and I think i'm set.</p>
<p>Some options:
1) If his problem (or excuse for having a problem) is the 1k/year you won't get in aid, offer to pay for it yourself (loans or extra job). That is such a small amount of money so far as colleges go.
2) If his problem is fear of you being so far away, maybe try to emasculate him or accuse him of trying to spoil you (in a subtle manner, and obviously only if he doesn't want to spoil you).</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that i'm an asian immigrant that's uhh poor as hell
the problem (imo) isn't the money. he just doesn't want me to move away....
And I'm afraid of my parents fighting and getting a divorce over this and my sister getting caught in the middle.
He's being completely unreasonable (illogical too) and is just trying to keep me inside his cage.</p>
<p>If this is really important to you and your dad is being illogical, you may just have to go against his wishes. You are 18 and technically have the power to do as you choose. This is your education that you worked tirelessly and years for. If you are getting a near full ride to a top school, you deserve the chance to make the best of it.</p>
<p>I think to the degree that it is possible, make the case for the cache of the school. While I do not claim to understand the immigrant Asian perspective, it is my understanding that education means just about everything. You will have to convince him of the school's caliber and how auspicious it is that you have been accepted and have made it so affordable. And while it is important to live your own life, it is also important that you try to keep family in mind because you will not be happy if you can't share that happiness with the people you love and who love you.</p>
<p>Perhaps he is just unfamiliar with the school? </p>
<p>Lastly, and I don't know your dad from a hole in the ground.. but sometimes Dad's like to say the first thing in their mind and will refuse to reconsider just to save face of some sort. THe trick is to get him to think he has come to the realization that this is a huge opportunity for not only you, but for the reputation of the whole family. How to do that? I don't know your dad's inherent weaknesses for you to get what you want, but I trust you have a clue.</p>
<p>So there ya go.... worse comes to worse, you can railroad things. but I would try a softer approach to begin with. THe saying, "You catch more flies with honey" works for a reason.</p>
<p>It would be best if you can talk things through maturely with your parents. Maybe write them a letter explaining that you must now take control of your future and chart your own course.</p>
<p>Your mom is an adult. You are not responsible for her life. Show them all the respect and love you can as you mover forward and make your own life choices.</p>
<p>Congratulations on that great acceptance and package, enjoy your success.</p>
<p>What I'm worried about is not the money, but more of what will happen to HIM and the family in general. I feel that if I were to leave, something really really bad is going to happen and it's going to kill me knowing that I don't have the support of my dad. Maybe I"m being illogical too, but I just can't seem to leave without his approval.</p>
<p>It's not your job to save your family. You can't, whatever the working of it are will play out over time no matter what you do. The issue is if you give up your opportunities and let fear and guilt guide you, the dysfunction will only escalate. Good chance you will be bitter in a few years for having been held back.</p>
<p>Your job is to do the best job you can for you, while showing your parents all the love and respect you can. However, respect does not mean letting your father control your adult life. He'll understand and come around over time, but you need to keep your eye on the ball.</p>
<p>You need to find another time of the day where you can speak to him, one on one. I find this especially helpful in negotiating with my dad, because he's actually a lot like yours (Asian too). Perhaps you asked him at the wrong time- maybe his mind was elsewhere and you just happen to bring the house down with your news. Just speak to him when he's not busy, I'm sure he'll understand. If worst comes to worst, seek the elders. </p>
<p>Remember, don't act rashly in front of your parents- keep a level head; dialogue is key, ignore the idiots telling you to simply run off.</p>
<p>If your family is going to split up over something like this, then its not really your fault. There are some deeper issues at hand here. </p>
<p>Several of my Asian friends have also run into the problem you have. I don't know why so many Asian parents are so possessive and protective. If you feel strongly about going, then there's no reason why you shouldn't.</p>
<p>What are you people talking about? WHO CARES IF IT'S ED? Do you think someone as stubborn as his/her father will care about a stupid paper a child signed?</p>
<p>But yeah, if he won't give in, you'll have to find a way to get there yourself.</p>
<p>Didn't your ED application have to be signed by your guardian, your GC, and you? Did your father discuss this with you before signing off on the ED application?</p>
<p>Um.. so?? What is the school going to do, send a private jet, handcuff the OP, and shove the OP in the jet to the school? You can't force someone to go somewhere o_o</p>
<p>The ED college can keep OP from going anywhere else. Obviously OP can't say the financial aid wasn't good enough so there is no way out of the contract. Other schools won't take him/her if she backs out. </p>
<p>There is no way the dad will keep OP out of college completely. I wonder if he even understood what ED was.</p>