<p>AND he could be letting the wrong part of his body choose his school!!</p>
<p>Toledo -- about 3 years ago MISS America was an MIT graduate ....... </p>
<p>When my son applied to schools 5 years ago, the only school which asked for a photo was Univ of Penn. I thought it interesting that they asked for it. And wondered how many students who were rejected would wonder if it was because their "look" was not "right" for Univ of Penn. Thought it was odd the school put itself in this "position". </p>
<p>Curious how many other schools have asked for photos with their apps this past year?</p>
<p>That truly is strange...I don't know.
I do know most if not all students who would like to take a theatre-acting major are usually asked for a headshot of some sort.</p>
<p>toledo, I think that attending accepted student's honor overnight would give just as accurate a picture as any other overnight. After all, from these honor students will come some of his classmates, dormmates and cohorts, particularly if freshmen housing is segregated from upperclassmen. Yes, it's a snapshot, but so is every impression a kid gets. They don't meet everyone; they don't sit in on every class. The impression could be wrong. But I think it really is a gut-level reaction. Finding out on the accepted students' overnight is just as good a way as any. In fact, my d chose her school on the basis of the accepted students' overnight. She met upperclassmen and her cohort, and felt comfortable there.</p>
<p>Can an intelligent kid have trouble fitting in? Sure! If the interests of the cohort aren't the same as his, if the sense of humor is different, if what they want from the college experience is different, of course they can have trouble fitting in. For example, a friend's daughter is a brilliant mathematician; engineering concepts come easily to her. But she didn't want a technical school because she also loves dance, theater, philosophy. She wanted to have non-engineering friends. So she's at a LAC; she would have been uncomfortable at MIT, even though she easily could have handled the work.</p>
<p>Let your son trust his gut instincts; isn't that what we taught them since they were toddlers?</p>
<p>If the school seems good for him in every way other than the honors students he didn't mesh with, maybe he should try a day/night with the non-scholars crowd. My S turned down the honors/scholars invitation at his university. It had nothing to do with the people. He never met any of them, just decided for a few other reasons that he wanted to go the "regular" route.</p>
<p>I was going to say the same thing as PackMom. Perhaps he would be comfortable with the school if he met the non-scholars crowd. Your son is a normal, healthy teenage boy if he cares about how the girls look at school. For me, the reason nerds are unattractive is because they don't seem to care about their clothing and grooming, and that is what makes them social outcasts (not their brains!) A person doesn't need to be beautiful to be attractive in the way they dress, speak, wear their hair and maintain their personal hygiene. Good for your son for having both brains and concern for his appearance. Those of us with eyes and a sense of aesthetics (which is most of us) appreciate it.</p>
<p>When I went to visit a (big state) school, I had quite an interesting impression. I went as part of an overnight "accepted scholars" event, but also first spent a night in a regular dorm with a student host. The night with a regular student was peculiar in that this was quite a "nerdy" completely straight-laced crowd, who typically went to bed around 10pm and stayed up watching movies and doing hw on a thursday night, which wasn't really what I was expecting. However, the next day when I was around the "accepted scholars" crowd, to my surprise a large majority of them were quite willing to have talk and have fun (in comparison to the actual college students). Yes, there were the typical "nerd" stereotypes in the group, but one just had to mingle and introduce themselves to others to find someone with similar interests. </p>
<p>My point is, you can't really tell from just one night. If this is the only factor that is turning your son away from this college, then visit again. Your son might get a completely different picture; if not, this next visit could confirm whether the school is truly a fit for him or not.</p>
<p>can anyone point me in the right direction for the supposed, university attractiveness rankings? those would come in handy when i have to make my decision</p>
<p>trackdude, I wouldn't start with what schools have attractive students. But, to be honest, I'm surprised at how much of difference there can be between two schools. </p>
<p>bandnerd, even if you are a nerd, I still think you're funny and insightful. </p>
<p>1down, someone was just telling me the other day, that most colleges used to request a picture years ago. She's from PA so maybe it was a PA thing.</p>
<p>This school isn't known for technical majors or super-bright kids, so we'll try another overnight with regular students. I hope my son isn't putting too much emphasis on "the girls", but I do have a little empathy for him in that area. He's spent 4 years going to school with 50 boys and 25 girls in his grade.</p>
<p>Tell your son to take up the sax....we always get the girls!</p>
<p>
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And just the same, you can wear a hoody and not be objectified, or wear a halter and a skirt and be objectified. Your choice.
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<p>What an interesting assumption. Not that it should matter, but I usually wear turtlenecks, men's BDU pants, and combat boots. I will never wear a skirt unless absolutely necessary (I have an ankle-length one for formal occasions). Hasn't prevented me from being objectified.</p>
<p>
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Take down the Orlando Bloom poster and stop taking a peak at the guy with a six pack then.
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<p>Another interesting assumption. No Orlando Bloom posters in my room, and I don't ogle guys. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated.</p>
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This isn't unique, and shouldn't be some sort of criticism of Toledo's parenting.
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<p>I never criticized Toledo's parenting. And note that I supported the right of the kid to be turned off by an environment and to reject a school based on that. In the end, it is his decision. I would criticize his views on women (among other things, there are some attractive women everywhere...why do you need everyone around you to be attractive?), and based on long personal experience, I have little sympathy for people who take that attitude. But I do have sympathy for people who want to make their own life decisions. And it is HIS decision; HE is the one who will have to live in this environment for the next four years.</p>
<p>If he is paying 100% of his college costs, then I agree, it is his decision. If his parents are paying for the college, ultimately attending a school based upon the attractiveness of girls would be THEIR final decision to make.</p>
<p>Ah, mizzou-mom, as much as I'd like him to go to what-could-be a nerd college (because of the program and scholarships), I could never make that decision for him, even though we're paying for most of it. It has to be his decision and of course, we're hoping he makes the best decision. Do other parents agree here?</p>
<p>toledo, I have to assume that there are OTHER qualities he is looking for in a school, right? The other schools he applied to are good schools for his major? Because he is "intelligent" I assume he knows he really is not choosing a school based on girls' looks, right? This is all tongue in cheek, right?</p>
<p>I don't think he's wrong for feeling that social fit matters.
My daughter was miserable last summer in a science camp where she complained that everyone was a nerd and she couldn't find anyone to hang out with. Literally the next week, completely happy at a different summer camp where the student mix was more social.
Academically, both programs were exactly what she is interested in and both were offered by great colleges...but her experience was completely different because of social issues.</p>
<p>Actually, what I fear we have now, is a school with a first-choice major that's a bad fit and a school with a second choice major that's a good fit. Do you feel my pain? Lots of things come into play with "fit" such as location, size of school, student activities, facilities, and the other students (girls included.) I would really love it if he could "fit" at the first school.</p>
<p>toledo, keep in mind that the vast majority of kids change their majors at least once, and many twice or more, during their college career. And most kids end up with jobs/careers that have little to do with their particular major (unless it's pre-pro like engineering or accounting). For that reason, I think that fit is significantly more important than the particular major. (Would the "better fit" school allow him to design his own major?)</p>
<p>toledo, I am curious. I looked at the colleges you said your s had applied to and I couldn't find a "nerd college". I think of GA Tech, MIT, CalTech(most certainly)as more techie schools. Obviously, our definitions are quite different! Which school are you calling the nerd college????????</p>
<p>I think "nerdiness" is in the eye of the beholder. Most students might be just fine with this particlular school. In my OP, I'd even mentioned that maybe it was just these particular honor students so may try another accpeted student overnight.</p>
<p>I am curious if he has gotten along with any of the other school's overnights? What is his opinion of nerdiness? He has to remember, too, that when students go on these overnights they are usually being judged and are therefore on their best behavior trying to impress for scholarships.</p>