Here ya go :
2 Likes
Wait. Did I read this correctly? 8 students over 4 years? Sorry, you failed to impress your point upon me.
1 Like
If you are saying that athletic preferences are even more of a problem than legacies - you won’t get much argument from me 
Still,
"We find that a white non-ALDC applicant with a 10% chance of admission would see a five-fold increase in admissions likelihood if they were a legacy…
The total number of admits is monotonically increasing in academic preparation; however, the share of admits that are LDC decreases dramatically as academic preparation improves."
Full text of the paper referenced in the article:
1 Like
While the latest posts are interesting- what does this have to do with the OP? Are you all suggesting that the reason the OP couldn’t afford to send the kid to the alma mater is because of legacy (or athletic) admissions? Huh???
5 Likes
Admitting clearly unqualified students doesn’t impress you? I guess that says it all. (-and that was just one of the schools - the article is behind a paywall). Some couldn’t prove they graduated from HS!
1 Like
Nope, not Penn. Yes, that it would be a negative during regular admission. I think the theory was that the applicant knows the school and would apply ED if they wanted to go.
Again, it’s anecdotal so who knows if that’s an accurate representation of what’s happening.
Can we return to the OPs question please. Feel free to start a thread with off-topic musings.
And to be clear, the above is not a suggestion. So if an off-topic question is addressed to you and unanswered, don’t answer
I’m closing the thread temporarily so nobody can claim their off-topic post was being written while I was posting
Further off-topic posts are subject to deletion without comment
2 Likes
This topic was automatically opened after 28 minutes.
I definitely would not say that, but I am in a position where my S24 might apply to my college, might not get into my college, and might have preferred it to wherever he does end up going (all of those things not being decided yet).
I would, of course, care about that, but I think we are both well-prepared to accept it as not a particularly big deal. And that is because I think we both believe his other options are all great, no matter how he ranks them.
Indeed, I personally think in many ways, ALL his options are better than all of mine were. Because I think all those colleges have gotten better in various notable ways.
So while it is true he may not have the option to go to the new-and-improved version of my college, still whatever new-and-improved college he does attend will likely, in my view, be better than the old-and-unimproved version of my college that I attended.
And I don’t know if the OP would see it the same way. But personally, I do find thoughts like that conducive to acceptance of whatever may happen.
5 Likes
My general line is “I won’t be surprised if you get in and I won’t be surprised if you don’t.” Still, it was hard to see the hurt in my daughter’s face when she got WL at one of her favorite schools. She grieved for a day and moved on, but in that moment I felt a little sad that things didn’t go her way.
2 Likes
The irony is I am struggling much more with my S liking my selective school that I did not love than I am with him liking my husband’s school.
1 Like
many responses were about the kids not liking the parents alma mater which is the most logical probabilistic outcome given how many different great schools they can choose from. The flip side is equally true, we have children who love our alma mater, but with a single digit probability of admission, is it also most probable they will not attend.
Either way sub 5% … so we parents have to digest the statistical reality
3 Likes
Yes, intellectually I know that my children not always getting what they want, including when they worked hard for it, is an important part of their personal growth. But emotionally? Not fun for a caring parent.
I actually think my kids often get over it faster than I do.
6 Likes
Always.
3 Likes
Yes, I think my kids tend to get over their disappointments and frustrations faster than I do. They may react very dramatically initially with tears and teeth gnashing, but that storm usually blows over so quickly that I am shocked how soon they seem to have forgotten their original desire. Much sooner than I let go of my sadness/empathy because I hate seeing them unhappy and disappointed.
Anyway, among disappointments, I will be far sadder if my kids don’t have kids of their own (to reference another recent thread Be honest: Would you be sad if your kids decide to forgo marriage/parenthood?) than if they don’t end up at my alma mater.
But it is an overstatement to say that I don’t care at all. I care a bit. A piece of me would like them to apply and be admitted since I had a positive experience and I think at least one of them might have a good experience there as well. My alma mater does not consider legacy in admissions though so a legacy bump is off the table. And again, I doubt any of them will apply. They all seem to be the type of kids who would want a fairly open curriculum, and my college has enough requirements to be a turn off to my free spirits.
Still it is is hard to swallow that so far they aren’t interested. But it is what it is (much like the grandchild thing), and it is their lives not mine. However given that I care a bit that none are likely to attend even knowing that the fit is probably wrong, I can totally get why the OP might be struggling with the idea that their children aren’t likely to be admitted and the school would be unaffordable anyway. I am in a somewhat different boat in that I think at least one of my kids might be competitive for my alma mater (not a sure thing at all, but a possibility) and it would be affordable if that kid were admitted. So it stings less for me, I imagine.
4 Likes
Deleted not truly on topic
Glad to read here about this topic that’s been on my mind as I’m leading the reality of college admissions with my firstborn S24 and feeling like I needed to do more several years ago to get him on the “Top 10 track.” Wife and I met at a school that is now T10 with 7% acceptance rate (was T15 with 39% acceptance rate in our day!). Her entire family went there. It is strong in my S24’s field of interest, but despite having grown up visiting campus, he is not super enamored. I don’t know if it is somewhat a protective mechanism due to low chance of admission.
My feelings are mixed. Part of it as @AustenNut said is that I see the state of the nation now, and am concerned about him having the best “name” possible to compete in the job market. That is biased by my experience as I think I relied on that “brand” at times above my individual distinctions. However, I also see that my alma mater is a different place, maybe in part because of its extreme selectivity. In addition, they offer no merit and as a full pay family, I am not even certain of the value of my alma mater for $90K per year. Ironically if we were a low income family I’d be more interested in S24 going there as it would be free, and thus a great value.
4 Likes
They will have different choices. Every generation has its challenges and opportunities.
This is end-of-history thinking. It’s common (but also narrow) to think that YOUR perspective and the way the world existed in YOUR lifetime is the “end of history” – that it’s the way things will continue to be. It’s difficult to conceive of the changes that occur from generation to generation. There’s a tendency to think that everything that happened before us is ancient history on grainy reels, and that OUR cohort represents the pinnacle.
But really, the world never stops changing. And it does so in BIG ways that we never can predict or imagine.
The world your children were born into is NOT their world. Today is their world.
3 Likes
Both my husband and I went to Caltech. Neither of our children are particularly STEM-focused. It’s also gotten more challenging to get in there, even if they were STEM-focused. So, it’s just not an option.
Neither my husband nor I are particularly upset at this state of affairs, since it’s a unique sort of experience that may or may not be good for people to go through. Yeah, we got out with our whole selves intact, but some of our friends/acquaintances did not. So, we accepted it early, and so far, the one kid that has gone to college seems to be enjoying the very different (although, about the same cost now for us as Caltech was back in the day for our parents) experience being had at a non-flagship state school.
2 Likes