<p>I was thinking about the many families whose stories I've followed in the past two years and realized that although many of the parents attended fine colleges I could count only a handful whose children followed (or wish to follow) in their footsteps.</p>
<p>In my case, there was never any doubt that I would attend the college my father and older sister graduated from. It was a great school and we were instate. My almamater, Michigan, is still a great school, but although my son was intrigued when we visited, he eliminated big universities early on and chose a small LAC. Michigan scared him a bit -- too overwhelming, too impersonal -- and since my experience had been uneven I didn't push it. An LAC seemed like the right direction at the time and has proven to be a good choice for him.</p>
<p>So I'd like to hear how you parents feel about your kids choices vis a vis your own college experience. Were you disappointed? Relieved? Regrets?</p>
<p>Obviously legacies are still a big factor in the admissions pool, but from the people on this board you'd hardly know it. Or maybe families that have their kids' choice of college all sewn up at birth don't feel the need for advice. :)</p>
<p>Legacy is mostly a negative in our home...S is attending his father's alma mater...and I've had to work on my childish, emotional "oh no" reaction to that...post-divorce bitters that I thought had dissipated long ago. (Thankfully, I can say truthfully to myself and others that I have succeeded in exorcising those demons...I'm now genuinely excited about S's upcoming college experience...)</p>
<p>He also got admitted to one of my two alma maters...I had very mixed feelings about him even applying there...I deeply disliked my time at that school and wasn't at all happy about having another few years of association with it thru S (altho there were other considerations that would have made me very happy had he chosen it)...</p>
<p>As for my other alma mater, he never even considered it...and I couldn't "blame him" for that...it's a large state uni (not our state), with good but not great programs in his area of interest...he clearly had "better fits" (in all senses of the word)...</p>
<p>Turns out legacy was a factor specifically mentioned in one school's admission offer, and likely completely irrelevant in another's...so early-on we figured out that legacy was "just one factor" that if it had any emotional connotations for me at all, those connotations were negative...</p>
<p>Bottom line: early on my S and I figured out that so long as I'm paying the bills (and I am), I get "veto power"...but other than that, the choice was his and I didn't get a vote...he & I discussed each school (both during the choosing-to-apply stage and the choice of matriculation stage), and I feel like he factored in my thoughts...but the decision was his...</p>
<p>My D will be attending my alma mater this fall. Both my kids said they did not want to go to their parent's schools. D #1 did not even apply to either one. D #2 applied to mine as a "safety". She got into her first choice school and thought it was all decided. She visited a friend their saw the dorms, sat in on a class etc. Two days later did the same at my former University. "Mom I really liked your school" was the result. Though the school may be less "prestigious" both her father and I think it is a wonderful "fit" for her. We kept quiet and 2 days before the deadline D made her choice. I loved the campus and community and am very excited for her. Now I can express my excitement.</p>
<p>I tried desperately to talk my son out of going to MIT. Thankfully, it is a far more positive experience for him than it was for me. Still, I do get a certain pleasure out of being able to laugh at him when he tries to say "Mom, you just don't know how hard it is!" I am also amused by the mailing label reading: XXX '76 P'07. (Clearly, I'm easily amused.)</p>
<p>My daughter will be attending my alma mater. If Princeton hadn't changed over the last 30 years I would have reservations, despite the fact that I had a phenomenal academic experience there and have remained a loyal and enthusiastic alumna. But my visits there with my D convinced me that it has kept what made it special - the focus on undergraduates and the opportunity for real intellectual growth - while growing and evolving politically and socially.</p>
<p>It was completely her choice. The nice thing is that a professor who started my junior year, in my department, a woman, is still there. She was pregnant with her first child my senior year, I remember. Well, now her 3rd child will be in the same class as my D. Now that, I like. And at Princeton of all places.</p>
<p>My kids refused to seriously consider my undergrad alma mater as it is literally too close to home. S did apply as the last safety, both financial and academic, but would not have been happy if that had been all there was. Neither considered Vanderbilt, either, my second alma mater, just because it is in the South. I had hoped they would at least look at Wm. and Mary or Northwestern, father's alma maters. Go figure. Guess they just want to chart new territory. S2 feels the same way as he does his search.</p>
<p>My S is interested in three of the schools we attended: U Va., Emory, and Brown. He has legitimate academic reasons for considering each of these three. The question in my mind is whether he can get into these schools. I am wondering if other parents have this same dilemma. Even though your child's academic record is as good or better than your own, he may or may not get into the school where you got in. </p>
<p>UVa. is very generous to legacy children. They place them in the in-state pot, which is a definite advantage. Brown even has a special counselling services for legacy children, not just for Brown admissions but college planning in general. </p>
<p>I grapple with the emotional fact that at Brown and U Va. he has an advantage that many would consider unfair. I am not totally comfortable with this. Yet, at the same time, I am willing to take advantage of the hook. Our D., who is adopted and still years from college, is Mexican-American and I also would not hesitate to reveal that on applications. </p>
<p>So, if he gets into any of these, we will be happy and proud, and probably do a lot of reminiscing about "what it was like". If he doesn't get in, I will be doing some serious reassuring that things are tougher today.</p>
<p>My parents both graduated from Purdue, but are the only in the family to do so, so there was no great "everyone went there" pull like one of my friends experience. As a result, they told me it was a good school and if I applied there I was certain to get in, as a strong candidate with legacy status, but I decided that Indiana isn't where I wanted to go and I didn't even apply there. My parents were fine with it; my mom thinks Carnegie Mellon is a great choice for me and my dad still thinks that I (and he) should go to USC.</p>
<p>We had assumed my d. might likely be attending my alma mater. It had, at least on paper, many of the things she was looking for. We knew quite a few of the faculty, and she had correspondence with several. We made three visits, over a period of three years. Each time we visited, her experience of it was worse. Different than when I was there, or so I thought at the time - much more athletic, more alcoholic, and our impression (later confirmed by data, but that was after decision) less diverse. Great school, with excellent academics (not universally, though), and tremndous resoruces, for the person it fits. When I later reflected on my own experience, I came to realize that the school was actually not very different from when I was there - only that the things I hadn't liked then had been magnified, something the current pres. is not happy about, and is slowly working to change.</p>
<p>I did not at all encourage my d. to attend where I went to graduate school (UChicago). She wasn't a city person, and they aren't strong her major. And she isn't "their type".</p>
<p>We have a few alma maters here and one S. So that let Wellesley out. He had zero interest in UCBerkeley - too big and as out-of-state not likely anyway. He really liked JHU and Stanford. In the end, he decided that Stanford would be the only lottery school he'd try. No go. He was disappointed for about a half-hour. </p>
<p>In our case, cami, his stats were not as good as mine due only to SATs - he just never ever does as well on standardized as he does on everything else. Has become a self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. But no matter. We're through with that @>!$*!. His grades, recs, essay etc were stellar; got him good merit aid at a lower level school (Tulane) and he loves that school. Yours will find such schools, too, (make sure they do) and if the alma maters say "no," they'll handle it.</p>
<p>Unfair advantage? Those are scruples you don't need to have, imo. The colleges treat legacies well because it is in the college's interest and because they know these kids are likely to thrive there. Our kids need every advantage they can get in this environment. If he couldn't do the work, it would be unfair. But that's far from the case, I'm sure.</p>
<p>Both my kids applied to and were accepted by our Alma mater (Umich). It was their second choice each time--just as well, after D's initial mis-start, they both found the right schools for themselves.</p>
<p>Coincidentally, S is attending the school his grandfather went to, but since Dad died long before S was born, it wasn't a factor in his choice ( or his admission--they don't count grandparents for legacies, and he didn't put it in the application).</p>
<p>Momrath, my son did apply to my alma mater (Reed) and was admitted there. He also was admitted to some other lac's including Williams and Carleton, and some larger universities including UMich and UChicago. In the end, he chose UChicago because it combined elements of an lac with the type of urban envronment he wanted. He found Williams too isolated for his taste. We weren't disappointed in his decision because Chicago offered everything he wanted in a college and it was only 200 miles from home.</p>
<p>Our daughter decided fairly early on that she wanted to study art in college and in particular at an art school, and preferably in a large city on the east coast. That militated against either my alma mater or my wife's (Wisconsin). The search focused rather on figuring out a set of plausible and attractive programs to apply to, and (on our part perhaps more than our daughter's) on trying to get some non-stand-alone art schools into the mix. In the end, both she and we were very happy with the ultimate outcome (RISD).</p>
<p>When my older son first started looking into colleges, I didn't really consider my alma mater. We were just trying to find the school that fit him best. However, as he narrowed things down--he wanted a college strong in engineering, but not cutthroat in competition, with overseas study in Japan, preferably with nice weather--I realized that my school, Stanford, fit quite well. We made a trip there so he could see the place, and it became his first choice. He was accepted and just graduated, having had just as great an experience as I had there.</p>
<p>My second son also applied to Stanford, mainly to see if he could get in (sibling rivalry). However, by the time April approached, he realized he would not want to go there anyway, since he wanted a strong music school, and Stanford does not have that. He ended up being waitlisted and didn't pursue it. He will be at Indiana and is thrilled. And I am perfectly happy with that. He would much rather do music that read and write, so I don't think he would be happy at Stanford anyway.</p>
<p>My youngest S just finished his Freshman Year at Cornell Univesity, where his mother and I met. He is very happy there and doing well.</p>
<p>He applied RD to Cornell Engineering.
I don't think legacy made a difference in his case, being ranked second in his HS Class and the Best student in Math and Science in his High School, 1560 SAT's.
And even if it did help, I don't feel guilty, because his first choice - MIT's admissions officer had stated that year, that they wanted to increase the number of students that were the first in their family to go to college.
So in a sense, we hurt his chances there. (MIT Results: EA Defered, RD Waitlisted ) </p>
<p>We feel Cornell is the best place for him.
He has an interest in Language and he's able to pursue that in the College of Arts and Sciences inaddition to his Engineering College classes.</p>
<p>He sees it as an advantage that we went there. On parents weekend, he said "Well, I don't have to take you on a tour of the Campus" , (but we did make him show us all the new buildings that have gone up.)</p>
<p>He calls his Mom from his Cell Phone walking across campus on a Snowy Afternoon in January describing the beauty of the Arts Quad that he knows we share memories of.</p>
<p>We are happy he's there because Academically it's a great fit for him.</p>
<p>KrazyKow: living in Indiana, I can't tell you how many families I know working on their fourth generation of Boilermakers!</p>
<p>My daughter had always dreamed of my alma mater but there was no way academically she could get in. And she said herself that even by some chance she could get in (and she would have had special consideration due to the fact that I was an alumni club president) she wouldn't want to go knowing that the main reason she was accepted was because of my ties. She didn't even apply and in the end it was a very good thing.</p>
<p>I'm also very impressed with the schools both us and our kids did/are attending.</p>
<p>Neither of our children attend(ed) our alma maters - UCLA and USC. Our S chose UMich over both. We were not the least bit disappointed. Later, our D went the LAC route, so she did not even apply. We have been so excited with their choices and experiences (living vicariously, again...). They are making their own memories of places and leaving our very old ones intact!</p>
<p>I attended TCNJ and wife Rutgers University (Douglas College), neither would be a fit for my D so I hope she goes somewhere else. I should state both my wife and I enjoyed our college years.</p>
<p>D applied to my alma mater (Indiana U) for music and was accepted. It was fun visiting the school with her. I did feel like one of thos old alums I used to laugh at when I was at IU, though. My old sorority house is now the admissions office! She liked IU, but thought it would be better for grad school than undergrad (voice). S will be applying to IU as his safety. With his stats he will get a direct admit into the Kelley School of Business, which is a real nice safety. I doubt he will wind up there, but it would be fine if he does. He is also applying to my law school alma mater, U of Chicago, where he is being recruited for his sport.</p>
<p>MomofWildChild. Your old sorority house is now the admissions office :) Recently toured my college town with D. Pointed out my old apartment. She gave me a funny look. It is now a Fraternity House.</p>
<p>S applied to one of H's alma maters (Columbia) and was accepted but will not be attending; he would have fit reasonably well there, and would have loved living in NYC for a few years. Given the difficulty of admission there, I believe H's legacy status was probably considered in the decision. S never considered applying to H's other school (Rice) because it is located in TX (sorry, Texans, it may be a nice place but he doesn't want to live there). He was halfway through the application for my alma mater (JHU) when he got his acceptance from MIT. JHU would have been a great fit for him, and I'm fairly sure he would have been accepted, but it was touching to listen as he sheepishly explained to me that there really wasn't any way he would choose JHU over MIT given his interests, so... would it be OK if he didn't finish the application?</p>
<p>I think H and I each would have been pleased if he'd chosen any of our alma maters -- they're all fantastic schools. But it's not as if we're complaining about his final choice, either. :)</p>
<p>(PS: Come to think of it, both JHU's and Columbia's applications asked about family members who attend or are alums, and I don't recall that on other apps. Did I just miss it, or is it not always asked on applications these days?)</p>