Has anyone prescribed beta blockers? They are used for heart issues but musicians use them for stage fright and they also counteract panic. Talk to the psychiatrist.
I totally agree with the suggestion to get a lawyer. You can also call the federal Dept, of Education’s Office for Civil Rights in your area. We have found them to be helpful.
But nothing helped more than talking to a lawyer. You may be able to get away with simply meeting with the lawyer and then telling the school, with a smile, “Our lawyer suggested…” Or the lawyer could write a letter.
The language for accommodations at the college level says they cannot pose undue financial or administrative burden, or substantially change the academic program. The vagueness of this is being tested in various court cases. But there may be no precedent for this.
Beta blockers manage the physical symptoms that accompany public speaking (jittery legs, upset stomach, heart palpitations, tightness in throat, etc) but not the negative things people think/say to themselves with anxiety/social phobias. If he hasn’t already had cognitive behavioral therapy (along with anxiolytics and/or beta blockers) , that is helpful in the management of anxiety. But I also hope that the professor will allow the speeches to be done via video. or one:one rather than in front of a large room. Good luck.
Why not try again with the professor - all he needs to do is to check a box that says that the assignment was completed. If he is willing to do that by hearing the speech one on one, then the problem is over. Your son, with his social anxiety probably is having a hard time communicating with the professor about this. He needs support as to how to do this.
We have discussed this problem with his dr. many times for many years. Believe me. We also had to get his dr. to send a letter to student disabilities explaining the situation . I don’t want this to turn into some kind of big legal fight. I just want to find someone who can help. It’s not that he just wants to get out of taking a class he doesn’t like. He would love to be able to do that. You have no idea how hard it is to watch your child go through this, no matter how old he is. When he is hysterically crying and saying “what’s wrong with me?! Why can’t I do this?!”. He would be very happy and relieved to be able to do something that other people can do without any problem.
@clpigg Has your son tried exposure therapy? This is the treatment of choice for social anxiety. Of course people with anxiety are not doing this on purpose. Severe anxiety is very debilitating.
@clpigg, I have had this problem over the years and it came out of the blue for me my senior year in high school. Your son is not alone! It has waxed and waned for me all my life. Everyone is shocked when I tell them it’s an issue for me. What I have found is that if I’m sitting down, preferably behind a table, it’s much easier for me to speak in public. Would that make it easier for him? That’s an easy accommodation. If not, is there something he feels as though might work for him?
When I said”he would love to do that”I meant he would love to be able to take the class. Also, he has been on medications for ADHD,anxiety,and depression since he was 7 years old.
I’m wondering how it happened that you had the same problem with that class but are comfortable now talking to a class as a teacher. Did you overcome the problem? You might have some insights to share with your son.
I have an adult autistic ds who is crippled by his anxiety who managed to complete his speech credit through an online class. Since you mentioned that the disability office said the requirements are set by the state, that makes me wonder if this is a public U. If so, check and see if there are any CCs that have reciprocity agreements in place for the speech class and if they offer an online version or if there is an ecampus version that he can take to satisfy it. (If your state doesn’t have an ecampus option, look at states that do and see if the course number has a course approval already in place. TN is one state that I know has ecampus versions of courses. https://tnecampus.info
If an agreement does not already exist, you can see if the course could receive approval.
We do not have a psychologist here who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. He has been to SO many different psychiatrists, psychologists and counselors throughout his life. We have done everything possible to help him. His pediatrician even got us an appointment with a psychiatric group at Tulane in New Orleans. Our insurance didn’t cover it so we had to pay out-of-pocket. I really do appreciate all of your feedback. But some of you are giving me advice as if this is a new problem. We have been dealing with this his whole life. We have been lucky that this is the only really big issue he has had in college. His ADHD is usually a much bigger issue than the anxiety…The reduction in executive functions is a huge issue that we have been working on his whole life. We do not have any BCBAs or behavior therapists here. The closest one is an hour away, and our insurance won’t cover it. So I do a lot of reading and research. I take him to anyone who we think might be able to help. He takes medication, and we just do the best we can. He has made Dean’s List twice, so I would say that we have done pretty well so far. This is the first time I have ever come up against this type of situation. I just needed to know who to speak to at the state level. As for as ‘catastrophizing’ him, I would never do that to him. When we left the student disabilities office, I told him not to worry. We will work this out. Failure has NEVER been an option. I don’t want an ugly legal problems, but if it comes to that - so be it.
In reply to yucca10, Teaching is a completely different thing. I don’t know how to explain it. Teaching is not just standing in front of people, speaking. I teach elementary school. When I teach, I am involved directly with the children. They are not all sitting in their chairs, staring at me. Also, I create an almost motherly relationship with them. It’s not much different that working with my own children. The only time I have a problem is at orientation. It is very hard, and I shake and stutter and get a dry mouth. Luckily it’s only once a year, and I know that I will soon have a relationship with the parents too. They will see that I’m not always like that.
Whe you write “You have no idea…” yes, many of us have an idea
Has he tried beta blockers? That was not addressed in your response.
Seeing a lawyer does NOT mean making a big legal thing out of it. I spent $200 finally on a lawyer, met with her (only once), received some elegant solutions which I could then cite when talking with the school. Mentioning that I got the suggestions from a lawyer (with a smile) really got things rolling. I don’t think any of us are thinking about you filing a complaint or seeing them in court. Legal advice from someone familiar with the ADA as it is honored at the college level can really be very helpful (as can OCR, where we also got advice but certainly did not file a complaint).
We understand you have been dealing with this for years and are a great parent who has researched and gone to the ends of the earth.
Has your son been diagnosed as having Disabling anxiety. Typically just providing an anxiety diagnosis is insufficient to substantiate a disability. The disability coordinator should be able to confirm whether this is an issue.
As to the graduation requirements, make an appointment for you and your son with the Dean of Students. I am surprised that this course cannot be waived — there can always be exceptions for a documented disability.
Or Academic Dean or Provost or VP for Academic Affairs. Just consider whether an exception could be found for a student who has no tongue. Of course they could substitute other requirements.
@jasmom It is not accurate to state that there can always be exceptions for a documented disability. Under 504, schools are under no obligation to alter course degree requirements. “Most colleges do not waive essential courses in a student’s curriculum. If the course is part of the “Core Curriculum” required by the college, the course will most likely not be waived.” May, but not legally required to be.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek . I appreciate the correction, and although I see your point, I encourage the poster to climb higher up the academic administrative ladder before accepting that an alternate course cannot be substituted.
We are in Alabama. I don’t know which course to use as a substitute. When we first went to student disabilities with this, the coordinator suggested that maybe the class could be substituted with something else or maybe even waived. He said there is no CLEP for that course. I assumed that when he spoke to the College of Computing(which he said he was going to do) they would work that out together. The next time we met with the coordinator-a year later-he had not followed up at all. He said that he didn’t think anything could be done because “EVERYBODY has to take that class. At the end of that meeting, he said he would get in touch when he found out about it. He has not contacted us. That was 2 months ago. I get the feeling he doesn’t want to be bothered with it. That is why I want to talk to the people he mentioned at the state level who decide on the curriculum. I went to the website for the AL Dept. of Education, but I still don’t know who to talk to.
The course is most likely not going to receive a waiver. If it is part of the core curriculum, it most likely will be required for the degree. The most he’ll probably be able to receive is videoing his speeches instead of giving them in person. That’s why I suggested an online course because that is how students handle their speeches in an online course. College is not like K12. The accommodations they have to provide does not include providing alternate courses.
