<p>My D. got an initiation from the university dean to be his friend. She was accepted to the university this fall and definitely will be a student there next year. She thinks its weird; and I dont know what to advice her. I think its rude just to reject the invitation, but on other hand she doesnt want adults and especially her future dean to see all pictures she puts there. Its nothing awful or obscene, but still a lot of silly ones . Did anybody happen to be in such situation?</p>
<p>Never happened to me, but I would accept it. So what if they are “Facebook Friends”?</p>
<p>Weird? Yes</p>
<p>But, the dean could maybe be like … discouraged that she did not accept it.</p>
<p>And if she has photos to hide, then she should take them down.</p>
<p>No, I would tell my D not to accept it. Just ignore it, no need to reject it. I think it’s out of line for a dean to be-friend a student. It’s an intrusion.</p>
<p>I’m with you on this one–I think it’s a little weird and I would give her the OK to ignore the invitation and not accept the request. She’s all ready officially accepted into the school so don’t worry about not “friending” him or whatever they call it–LOL.</p>
<p>It’s too much of big brother watching. If the dean makes a too big of a deal out of it, I would think twice about going to the school.</p>
<p>Agree with oldfort. I think it’s inappropriate. The Dean is not her friend. I would advise her to ignore it.</p>
<p>I imagine he’s friending all accepted students, and he has a business type FB for that purpose. If she doesn’t want to be friended by him, she could just ignore it. I doubt that he keeps track of who accepts and who doesn’t.</p>
<p>I do know that some people have several FB accounts – one for family, one for family/friends, one for people who basically are business acquaintances. Perhaps that’s what the dean has.</p>
<p>NO. Then she’ll be absolutely paranoid when she posts things/when others post things to her/when she uploads pictures… even if they’re really not incriminating. The Dean couldn’t expel her for not accepting a friend request, just ignore it.</p>
<p>I doubt it is really the dean…</p>
<p>Ignore the request–do not accept. Also, suggest to her that she should modify her facebook account (in privacy settings) so ONLY HER FRIENDS can see her information and photos. If she joins the college’s facebook network (which she will) then the Dean (who I’m sure is part of the college’s facebook network) will be able to see everything on her facebook unless she adjusts the privacy settings. Set it to FRIENDS ONLY.</p>
<p>No!!!</p>
<p>Wow. That’s really inappropriate. Bad boundaries. Ignore the request.</p>
<p>I agree, do not accept. This dean probably does not understand facebook. I would guess he/she thinks they are connecting w/ this generation. </p>
<p>My H is a dean. He sends emails to accepted students. He is on facebook but would never consider trying to friend perspective students.</p>
<p>But I doubt that it is creepy. It is probably just a generational misunderstanding.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your answers.</p>
<p>I actully have the same opinion as morrismm; and now I don’t have doubts that it’s ok just to ignore it </p>
<p>skybax22, it’s the Dean for sure. We know his name; he sent a few emails and letters of acceptances and scholarship awards to D.</p>
<p>That is both weird and inappropriate. I think it can be ignored. Must be some generational glitch by a staffer. I strongly doubt the Dean has time to be on FB with students (and if he or she is, I would be worried about his or her school!). My very hard working Dean hardly has time to answer MY work related emails!!</p>
<p>I say ignore but if you are worried about how her response will be interpreted, one solutions is this: Friend and unfriend. A notification is sent if friend is accepted but NO notification is sent if you are ‘unfriended’. They won’t know. But probably best to just ignore.</p>
<p>Don’t accept or reject. Pretend like you never got an invitation. :)</p>
<p>I think it’s perfectly OK for your D to accept. What Northstarmom says is right: He probably is “friending” all the accepted students. I don’t think it’s weird at all. Tori_mom, I hope it’s okay to say that I know what school (and what dean) you’re talking about. The scholars’ group that your D was accepted into probably has its own Facebook group(s) as a way of getting to know each other. Of course it is her choice, but it’s not inappropriate for him to ask. Certainly she should take down photos that she finds embarrassing, but that’s a good thing to do anyway. I give the guy credit for trying to communicate with students on their terms.</p>
<p>This fall I joined Facebook and made my son my only friend, simply because it was okay with him and it gave me a way to see photos of him at college (he does not post compromising ones). I had no intention of going any further. Soon I began to discover how many of my professional colleagues are on Facebook and use it for professional and personal purposes. So, when I find some extra time, I’m going to create a nice Facebook page. It just might bring me business. By the way, my H is a college professor, and his students ask him why he’s not on Facebook because they’d like to “friend” him!</p>
<p>Edit after reading a couple more posts above: I work in the nonprofit field, and if your organization isn’t on Facebook, it’s behind the times. I don’t see what’s different about a dean (representing a school within a university) being on Facebook. It’s not like they’ll post on each other’s Walls all the time. It’s a way of sharing information.</p>
<p>It’s not too hard to change your privacy settings to limit who can see your photos. My DS friended me, but I only see a few photo albums. (Which is WAY okay with me!!!)</p>
<p>My take, the admissions staff is trying to get the school tied into what current applicants are doing. I agree that it’s probably a mass “friending” and that if a kid ignores it there will be no bad outcomes.<br>
Once kids are in, the admissions staff isn’t stalking your facebook for reasons to recind the admission. I think it’s an attempt to connect to the new class in their favorite way. Even if it feels creepy to some of the kids…</p>