<p>Please help, guys, I don't know what to do at this point.</p>
<p>My parents are beginning to think that I can't handle a pressure-cooker prep school like the schools I'm applying to. While I respect that they know me well and only want the best for me, it's my dream, and I'm not willing to give up on it yet. </p>
<p>I can see where they're coming from for sure. I have anxiety, and a history of mild to moderate clinical depression. They don't want me to get overwhelmed and be sent over the edge by the pressure and stress. But at the same time, this is what I want, and I think that it's at least worth investigating to the fullest possible degree. </p>
<p>What can I do to try and convince my parents to let me finish out the application process? </p>
<p>Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.</p>
<p>What schools were you planning on applying to? If they’re competitive schools like Exeter, St. Paul’s, Hotchkiss, etc then your parents may think that the competition at those schools may be too much for someone with anxiety and clinical depression.</p>
<p>I’m only planning on applying to Brooks and Andover. I get that they’re both very competitive, especially Andover, but if my family were to decide that it’s the best choice for me to attend (IF I get in, that is) we would be moving to the area surrounding the school and I’d be a day student. I initially wanted to board, but because of the anxiety/depression issues, my parents decided that the only way I’d be able to do it at all would be with my support system nearby. </p>
<p>I talked it through with them just now and another of their concerns is cost, so if I can convince them that we have a decent enough chance of getting financial aid, I’m pretty sure they’ll at least let me apply. I’m not sure.</p>
<p>Does your anxiety stem from perfectionism? Because if it does being at a better school could help with that instead of making it worse. </p>
<p>You could also just take the “we can just finish applying and think about it when we know if it’s a real possibility” path that maddog15 suggested.</p>
<p>My anxiety comes mostly from stress and holding myself to too high of a standard. </p>
<p>For example, recently my only anxiety attacks have been before geometry exams. I’m so concentrated on wanting to do well I can’t concentrate. I’ve gotten much, much better about not stressing myself out this school year. The anxiety issue is becoming less and less present in day-to-day life for me.</p>
<p>If you’re definitely going to be a day student, and your parents are willing to move, why not look into a good day school instead of a boarding school? I don’t see the advantage of bs in that situation.</p>
<p>Boarding schools tend to have a larger array of course offerings. For example, i’m really interesting in the playwriting class Brooks School offers, and most day schools don’t offer classes like that. The majority of day schools have very limited course offerings.</p>
<p>It sounds like it is time to fully explore your local day school options and then consider how to supplement with summer programs or other resources in your community.</p>
<p>That’s actually one of the reasons I’m looking into schools in Massachusetts. There are very few day schools in my area, and virtually none anywhere near as challenging as Andover or Brooks. The main issue with replacing the special courses offered at some of the big-name schools with extracurricular programs is time. I’m already very involved with sports and theater, and if doing something like playwriting were part of my school day, I could actually fit it in. Not to mention, my family pretty much hates living in Ohio.</p>
<p>I know it seems hard to accept, but your parents are probably right then. They know you best. Don’t fret, there’s always college to get away and you’ll be ready by then.</p>
<p>If you take a closer look, I think you’ll find that many of those great-sounding electives aren’t accessible until your senior year. Check out the number of electives students can take beyond their required courseload and then which are available which year.</p>
<p>Given your interests, you might be well suited for a public magnet school. For example, we have friends in Pittsburgh who have a child in a school that specializes in the arts. These schools can be competitive and difficult to get into, but if you’re family is flexible, I’ll bet you could find one that would suit your interest as well or better than prep school.</p>
<p>I think it’s stressful on day students when the great majority of students board. The hours at the school are long, because prep schools–with their captive student body–can stretch the day and the week more than a day school. And the day students miss out on the support and fun of dorm life and developing close relationships with faculty who are also part of the dorm. Of course, if you already lived near a great boarding school, the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages, but if your parents can be flexible about where they move, why choose a school largely built around a community that you wouldn’t be part of?</p>
<p>Be very careful. At many schools if you apply as a boarder you can not switch to be a day student. The two pools are separate, it’s harder to get in as a day student. Towns, because of traffic, severely limit the number of day students.</p>
<p>Also, think about your parents’ needs. If prep school is a financial hardship, affording a home around Andover will be too. It’s an extremely expensive area, with homes on average much more expensive than in Ohio.</p>
<p>There are many ways to get a great education. Good luck!</p>
<p>This decision involves far more than helping you attend a boarding school – as a day student. We’re talking family relocation. Do you have siblings that this will impact? What about existing social networks? Medical networks? Insurance coverage? I think reality set in for your parents and they made a decision they should have come around to long, long ago…like at the first mention of this.</p>
<p>If your plan is to be a day student, I bet there are many excellent possibilities that require far less imposition and sacrifice on so many people. Your parents are amazing for even entertaining the idea. Give them a huge hug for that, tell them that you realize that it makes a lot of sense, and ask them to help you find ways to achieve your ultimate educational objectives without having to relocate.</p>
<p>@classicalmama, that’s a good point about the social aspect of BS, although we’re not really all that flexible as to where we move to. It’s either Boston (or really Andover, actually) or Dallas, and we’re all set with day school applications for Dallas, so now it’s just sorting out applications for the Boston area. </p>
<p>@2college2college, I definitely get exactly how expensive it is. Andover is absolutely an expensive area to live in, but so is where we are now. While Ohio overall is less expensive than the Andover area, the town I live in is the most expensive place in the state to live. It’s not really that the living expenses would be an issue, it’s just that an added cost would be tougher to deal with financially. </p>
<p>@D’yer Maker, we’re relocating in the first place, and no, I don’t have siblings. The only reason my parents are doubting it right now is that they don’t think I can handle it. What they’re thinking is that it might be better for me to just go to Dallas instead of the Boston area and go to a less-stressful day school. They have a point for sure, I just want them to at least look into it further until they completely shut down the idea. </p>
<p>@markalex1, yeah, I could theoretically, although I live near Columbus, and Cleveland is slightly over 3 hours North of where I live now. And since we’re not moving to Cleveland, it wouldn’t work out.</p>
<p>Another possibility to consider is moving to a place with stronger public schools and programs for gifted students. I live in an area with multiple GLADCHEMMS (extremely strong private) schools within an easy drive yet many kids in my town, even those who had been in private K-8s, choose to go to the local public high school because the college results for the top 1/4 or so of the class matches, and in some cases exceeds, the results for students at top private schools. Towns with great school systems tend to have high real estate prices but you’d save on tuition.</p>
<p>@Sue22, I’m already in one of the top 3 schools in the state out of public schools, am two grades ahead in Honors math, and am one grade ahead in Spanish. If I’m not challenged already, there’s no way any other public school is gonna cut it for me.</p>
<p>@maddog15, it’s kind of a unique situation. My Dad got a job at a new company that has offices in both Boston and Dallas, so we get to pick where we want to move to.</p>
<p>And your dad has all this time to keep the employer waiting on his decision? Hmmm…</p>
<p>Okay, forget all that. Even if it was set in stone that you would be moving, no matter what, to within 20 minutes of Andover, I think you have raised enough legitimate points of concern regarding your own best interests for anyone here to second guess your parents’ highly-informed decision or to provide you with support to work against their decision. You’ve made a compelling case that backs their position, countered only by the fact that it’s something you strongly desire and it’s an option that you want them to keep in play at least a little longer.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that they’re correct. I have no way of knowing that because I don’t know you or all of the facts. Do you want to know who does know if your parents are making the wise choice? Your parents.</p>
<p>I think the reluctance and resistance from others here to help you push back against them comes from the fact that your parents know what’s best for you way better than any of us…particularly since the facts you’ve spelled out point directly to the reasonableness, if not righteousness, of their decision. I’m sorry, but I’m not too sorry because I suspect that one day you’ll probably want to thank them for their wisdom here. And I hope you get to that day soon because you’ll be very happy when that day comes.</p>