<p>I had a ton to say as my D left home to college. I thought there is no way I can get her to sit and stare at me as I give this long lecture. So, I decided to email her and hoped she may read it when she is bored to death :-)</p>
<h2>If anyone wants to copy the idea, here it is:</h2>
<p>You have to keep reminding these yourself, since your nagging mom is not going to be around to do so.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Spirituality:Remember to pray every day </p></li>
<li><p>Health:
Eat healthy on time.
Drink enough water.
Sleep on time.
Be away from substances and alcohol.
Establish right in the beginning that you do not drink alcohol and let everyone around get used to it from the beginning. Then you won't have any pressure.
Take vitamins.
Have proper clothing to protect you from the weather.
If you are not feeling well, take care of it rather than postponing it.</p></li>
<li><p>Safety:
Watch your surroundings.
Always go in groups.
Make sure you carry from $5-$15 with you all the time
Just because you are in a dorm/academic building doesnt make you safe if there are not too many people around. Make sure you have at least another person you know around.
Try not to stay outside after it is dark.
When you enter bathrooms check your surroundings (for peeping Toms cell phones etc that are placed inconspicuously)
Do not share your room keys with others
Lock your room when you are sleeping
Dont leave ipad/laptop on the bed
Make sure you have ICE contact in your phone
Always cover your drink and do not leave it unattended.
Do not go to parties outside your campus
Do not attempt to explore the city or meet friends in other colleges in the first semester
Use commonsense. (you dont need to do your laundry or have your bath at 11 in the night or 2 in the morning)</p></li>
<li><p>Time Management:
Do not procrastinate work.(Working late in the night the day before it is due is not going to be the most efficient way)
See what is important and allocate time as each thing deserves. (Do not give undue importance to one thing)
For the first semester, do not attempt too many extra-curriculars. You can add them later on.(since there is a lot going on in terms of adjusting etc)
While you are waiting for something/someone, dont just wait, instead do something else in the mean time. (Small pockets of time add up)
Between classes use the time to revise your material.
Plan to be at a place at least 5 minutes before.
Give yourself wiggle room when planning tasks. (Dont allocate 1 hour to do a task if you estimated 1 hr to finish the task, give yourself atleast 15 more mins).</p></li>
<li><p>Study Tips:
College professors expect you to read the chapter and come to the class before they teach.
DO NOT skip a class.
The classes will be very fast paced. So, you cannot afford to accumulate / procrastinate work.
Make sure you take notes when you prepare for the tests. Make special note of the problems that you have a hard time. If you do that for each chapter, you can revise that notes the day before the mid-terms/finals.
Do not under-estimate the time that a homework/assignment would need.(Most of us tend to do that often)
It is a good idea to write down the tasks list on the white board or so, so that you do not inadvertently miss some things to do. (I for sure miss a task if I dont write it down)
Try to do the problems at the end of the chapters even if the teacher doesnt assign homework, as it is good practice. Dont say that I wont remember if I do it 10 days before the test. Doing it 10 days before the test will make the day before the test a lot easier to manage.
Make sure you see the TA for any questions/comments on your homework/essays before handing in, as they may revise and give helpful tips. TAs may have some other problem sets or books with problems that you might want to practice Make sure you thank them.
It is always a good idea to start off the semester with a very good score so that you have wiggle room towards the end. Do not just aim for the bare minimum.
Aim for your best. Put your best effort.</p></li>
<li><p>Stress Management:
Plan your schedule well to reduce stress.
Prioritize tasks
Do not over-commit (if you did, learn to say no a friend wont feel bad if you said no because you have impending tasks)
If you didnt get the intended results for a certain work, do not get discouraged. Instead, focus your energy on the positive side to figure out what needs to be done to make it better.
Distribute your stress and de-stress (share it with others, no use sulking all by yourself)</p></li>
<li><p>Adjusting:
Establish rules in the beginning with room-mate say I buy milk etc alternate week etc
Be forgiving if your room-mate/friend disappointed you. If it happens again, politely say that you are disappointed and that you would be happier if it had happened a different way etc...
Do not lose sleep on little things
Be considerate (if your room-mate has a test the next day, do not bring your friends to the room) and expect the same from her.
Respect each others spaces and styles of living.
Do not be pressured to join a group / party/ certain style of living just to maintain friendship. Keep your priorities straight.</p></li>
<li><p>Making decisions:
When you have to make decisions and are confused (as simple thing as should I watch a movie, or should I first finish lab report due tomorrow), ask yourself Is this helping my goal or hurting it?
Let your conscience make the decision, not the heart.</p></li>
<li><p>Be thankful to the people who help you.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>wow, you are a bit on the over protective /controlling side. being smart is good being crazed is not healthy for anyone. and some of the things are personal choices for your child to make.</p>
<p>hypermom – I like your list. I do think, however, that most of these are things that have to be imparted throughout the years before they go off. The common sense safety on campus rules are more last-minute. Then we have to hope and pray for the best.</p>
<p>Didn’t you guess that from my name that I am hyper? :-)</p>
<p>Anyway, the piece of advice is personal. Each mom will have special things to say to the child. It is an advice/suggestion, not a rule! And it is optional for the child to follow or discard.
Just felt like writing here since atleast one of these she seemed to have followed in college and her friends thought it was a good idea and followed as well!</p>
<p>I second what Marsian said. Most of this stuff, if they haven’t already learned and re-learned that stuff over years of consistency, chances are they aren’t going to suddenly “get it” the day they land on campus. </p>
<p>When my DS goes to college in 2014, I can only hope that all those things in the above list that I have tried to instill in him since he was very little are ingrained deep enough that they are just common sense to him, and he can confidently take the first step in spreading his wings.</p>
<p>Hypermom, that was great. The next several years in college is when your D becomes mature and realizes how often you were right. Plus, she will have this never ending email message as proof. Though, everything you said should have been imprinted in her over the years of your parenting.</p>
<p>I think many of these are simply unrealistic. It’s a miracle if I get into the shower before midnight. Don’t skip a class? How about don’t skip class just because you don’t feel like going. Instead of don’t drink, encourage not drinking but explain safety tips like knowing when to stop.</p>
<p>Another who thinks almost all of this is common sense. If she doesn’t have it by now, she’s going to get a crash course very soon and not from an email.</p>
<p>I’m gathering that this is to a young person from a small town headed off to the big city for the first time? Otherwise, I’m a little baffled that the student should be “in” after dark! I had classes that ended at 9 or even 10 at night-and to get to and from them you walked-there really wasn’t an option! </p>
<p>And I’m equally surprised/confused by the “don’t explore the city or make friends outside of school”-is this also because the city is assumed to be dangerous/confusing/scary to the ADULT about to move there? I HAD to leave campus if I wanted to do my banking, shop for food besides the junk in the school store, or other non-school related items. The only way to find these places was to explore the area. Just as when I moved away from home for good after college, it was on me to find my way around.</p>
<p>But yeah, a lot of this is common sense, the rest personal opinion, and the rest after that, a big of controlling hyperness. And yes, I got the screen name and figured out right away why. As long as it worked for the OP and her kid. But there’s a bunch that even my extremely cautious kid wouldn’t identify with here.</p>
<p>notrichenough, thank you for posting Shakespeare. I am printing this!</p>
<p>My advice to my kids was explore your new surroundings and meet new people. Expand your world…</p>
<p>But I didn’t know I would have to advise my D on simple, obvious things such as: don’t leave your car keys in the car door (you’re lucky someone honest spotted them and laid them on your carseat), don’t park in a “no parking” area (that was a $$ lesson) and don’t leave your laundry unattended (no, I’m not ordering new clothes for you online).</p>
<p>I think half of your safety information is overkill. I would just advise a kid to (1) lock their dorm room door whenever they go out or they are sleeping, (2) travel in groups if it’s late at night, (3) never use anything expensive (like your laptop or cell phone) to save a seat in a lecture hall or dining hall, (4) lock your bike every time, (5) have information about mass transit (or phone numbers of cab companies) and money when you go off-campus, and most important (6) stay reasonably sober. Most dangerous stuff at college happens because people are drunk or stoned.</p>
<p>I see no reason why students shouldn’t visit friends on other campuses or explore the community they live in, as long as they have a way of getting back to their own campus that doesn’t rely on catching a ride with someone who might have been drinking. (This is the reason for knowing the bus schedule or having cab fare.)</p>
<p>On the other hand, I would add something to Health: Always ask a pharmacist (or your doctor, but pharmacists are easier to reach) before taking two medicines together – either prescription or non-prescription. And “together” means “on the same day,” not just “at exactly the same time.”</p>
<p>My advice:
Don’t get arrested.
Don’t get yourself killed.
There is nothing, nothing you could do that we, your parents, will not stand beside you.</p>
<p>Everything else: use common sense, trust your instincts, keep your dooks up, if it is too good to be true then it probably is.</p>
<p>Yeah, my advice was more like. Have fun. Take some risks, but don’t be stupid. Explore and take advantage of your city (or in the case of his study abroad - the country and area - which meant yes, spring break trips to Egypt from Jordan.) I like the advice about not saving seats with laptops though! (#12) It probably bears repeating.</p>
<p>Wow, my D at an all-women’s college wouldn’t have any social life if she didn’t go to parties and social events outside her campus. And I think exploring the city is a must; if anything, I wish my kids (who are both at suburban campuses outside major cities) would go downtown and take advantage of all their cities have to offer more often.</p>
<p>H and I both were guilty of studying too hard and missing out on fun. Our big pieces of advice are “Be aware of your surroundings” (which covers a lot of ground, safety-wise) and “be sure to go and do something fun.” All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.</p>