Advice for future sister-in-law?

Parents Forum
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<p>Ok...I'm reaching out to all of the creative thinkers on CC regarding my fiance's sister, a HS senior.</p>

<p>It seems like she is going downhill, big time! I don't know all of the details (my fiance's mom isn't being too forthcoming with information), but her grades are dropping, which isn't good since she was a B/C student to begin with (mostly honors/gifted classes, few regular level classes a year). She's taking AP government, but it's her only AP (taking regular calc if it means anything...suggests vigor?). Her SAT scores are very average, I think about 1000 old scale, ~1500 new scale. </p>

<p>Now, she pretty much is set on going to Temple for undergrad and wants to eventually get a graduate degree in physical therapy (also at Temple). She will get free tuition at Temple if admitted (my fiance's mother is a nurse practitioner at Student Health = free tuition).</p>

<p>How is she looking for Temple? I think it may be a bit shaky...especially with a downtrend in grades and I know she's been dropping EC's the past few years.</p>

<p>If not, any suggestions as to what she could do before transferring to Temple? I'm really afraid if she goes to the local CC (Bucks), she will not grow up and won't do as well as if she'd go away straight off for college. She is becoming more and more antisocial (I believe mostly due to personal insecurities), and is addicted to World of Warcraft (becoming a more and more common problem...). She doesn't go out with friends and I don't really know how happy she is or how happy she would be staying at home for a few years to get up her grades (if she would be motivated enough to do so...motivation problems seem to run in the family).</p>

<p>I was thinking a close state school, like West Chester may be a better choice, since she could live in a dorm and be forced to meet new people/friends. </p>

<p>Anyone have any suggestions? Am I being too paranoid? Anyone have a similar or know someone who has had a similar experience?</p>

<p>Thanks a lot! :D</p>

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<p>Sure. It has nothing to do with what you asked, but sure. Get a good round of psychiatric testing. Ensure that the chemicals in her brain are fine; that she's wired correctly; and that there isn't some situation that is causing her depression. </p>

<p>I only say this because I do see a fair number of signs of psychiatric disorders that begin to manifest around her age. Also, something like sexual assault could cause the slide in grades and the antisocial behaviour. Not saying that she's a nutjob or anything - just that she probably needs to get a checkup first (the mental equivalent of a physical checkup when something may not be right).</p>

<p>Zeus once said, correctly, that there's three kinds of people in college: those who party and study; those who party and don't study; and those who don't party but study a lot. The fourth doesn't really exist, but that sounds like your SIL. </p>

<p>Finally, don't be afraid to question your assumptions. If you're wondering about academic rigour v. social life at college for an introverted girl who neither socializes nor studies, perhaps you should really question whether college at age 18 is the right choice. She may be best of taking a year to run around Europe or train for a marathon or do public service, then consider college when she is not on a downward slide and when socializing comes more easily.</p>

<p>Sorry to armchair diagnose. Good luck.</p>

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<p>in the future you might want to consider adopting</p>

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<p>only a joke</p>

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<p>WOW is very addictive...if she is spending all her time on that it does not surprise me that she is not social in other areas....she is socializing through playing WOW. The mom may need to sit her down and explain that she needs to socialize with real people, not just online.</p>