Advice From The Elders

<p>Hopefully ya'll that have more life experience can give me some advice on what to do. </p>

<p>Here the situation - </p>

<p>This is my last year in highschool. Im currently getting the forms ready to to send out for ROTC scholarships. I feel I have a good chance to get one. Which would be great! However, after the 4 years at college Id be sent to who knows where, which is fine with me. </p>

<p>However, right now I live close to my grandparents. They are 78 & 76 years old. They really would like me to stay close to home. This past year they lost one of two sons to a heart attack. They have 3 grandchildren, 2 of which have married off and moved away. My father and I are the remaining family living close. They really don't want me to leave, and it breaks my heart to have to leave. But! An ROTC scholarship would be a great start in life...</p>

<p>On one hand, this is MY life and I have to make decisions that will benefit me for the rest of my life. </p>

<p>On the other hand, if I get sent across the country and rarely get to see them, then they pass away, that would probably kill me. Ill probably have regrets about leaving for ever.</p>

<p>I'm having trouble deciding what to do. I know Ill apply for the scholarships. If I get denied that decides that. But If I get offered one, I know Ill have mixed feelings about accpeting it. </p>

<p>Im sure some of yall have been through this... Advice?</p>

<p>Hi AmericanmadeFord!</p>

<p>I think the first thing to do is to forget this phrase, "It's MY life..." Unfortunately, it just isn't ever true. Our decisions impact others and they impact us - constantly, our whole lives. I think you really understand that, though, based on the other things you said.</p>

<p>I think you should go ahead and apply for the ROTC scholarships because there is just no predicting what the situation will be like in a year, much less five! In that length of time, your cousins could have moved back to the area, your grandparents could be in heaven, you could be stationed in the local area (happens - we have friends who have been in the service many years all in the state they grew up in), your whole family could providentially move to where you will be stationed - who knows??? And if not, you can keep in touch with lots of phone calls and letters.</p>

<p>I know how hard these decisions are - both of our mothers were widows with no family near by when we graduated from college and my dh was a military officer. We worried so much about leaving them. And yes, we lived away, far away, for nine years. However, now we've been back in the same area, close to both of them for over 12 years. My grandparents, who I thought I would never see again are still living and enjoying my children, even though they are in their eighties. </p>

<p>I would hate for my children to move across the country, but if they needed to, I would absolutely support them - and hope and pray they would move back when they could.</p>

<p>AMF - One of the wonderful things about the military is that you get a LOT more leave that civilians, and travel is essentially free if you learn how to work the system (which as an Officer, of course you should). It sounds like you have an excellent plan for your life. Go do it.</p>

<p>AmericanMadeFord, I think you have to take each step of life as it comes and not borrow trouble from tomorrow. Apply for the ROTC scholarship. If you get it, I believe you can give it up after your freshman year with no obligation. I know the Air Force does that; I don't know about the other branches of service. So, that would be 2 years from now. As Huguenot said, a lot can change in that time. Also, your grandparents would have time to get used to the idea.</p>

<p>Your grandparents know that kids grow up and move away. It's the cycle of life and all that. They might not like it, but they've seen it over and over. They are hurting from losing their son and seeing their beloved grandchildren move away. They still have your dad, though. </p>

<p>Also, after you are commissioned, you'll have opportunities to come home. At first you will go to your branch qualification school. There will likely be some time off before and after that. You can request a stateside assignment for your first tour and even try to get one as close to home as possible. Yes, there are wars and you could be deployed for a time; that's just a fact of life in the military, but it's not a sure thing that you will be far from home because you are going to be a military officer.</p>

<p>This can work out just fine. Let us know if we can help with questions about the ROTC scholarship application process. I have 2 kids with ROTC scholarships (one Air Force and one Army), so I have some experience with it, and many others here do, too.</p>

<p>ROTC is a huge committment. I have numerous relatives and former students and friends of my son who have gone that route. Some have regretted it; some haven't. Still, it can't hurt to apply; nothing forces you to accept the scholarship and it would certainly keep your options open for another year.</p>

<p>There are other ways to get a full scholarship. You might not be able to go to as highly ranked a school. There are numerous threads in CC about how to go about that.</p>

<p>AMF, I too have a S with an ROTC scholarship (Navy). Are you applying for all branches of the service? Are there any schools fairly close to your home that have ROTC units? As you know, if you've been working on the apps., you get to name your 5 top choices for schools. So you won't necessarily get sent across the country. As others have said, you should definitely go ahead. You'll have plenty of time to make a decision.</p>

<p>Seems that you are too empathic and may not be well suited for the military. As many have said above, You are making guesses about the future that neither you, your grandparents, and your recruiter can rightly determine at this point. </p>

<p>Other military or government service options are available that should be explored.</p>