<p>Okay I am freaking out. I have recently come to the decision to let my son board instead of being a day student. This was a major milestone for me. We will be dependent on a scholarship and my son may well qualify for some. His SSAT scores are solid and he has some great items to offer. My issue is one of the schools I really like is in the south. I love what I see on their website...I like the location...Great academics...Sports are amazing...and the admission officer was great. We "spoke the same language" with what we liked...This is my problem: I wanted to see what was out there on the web from students and although I don't want to base my opinion on just 4-5 statements, what I saw concerned me. Their were some really disgusting comments made by students from both this school and it's rivalry across town. It was not a friendly rivalry between two great schools but was really nasty. (These were posted on what I am sure was a site they thought no parent would see) I also saw two articles on an arest this year alnd an injury/assault last year, and I also saw one negative review of the school on a non-boarding school site. If I go to boardingschoolreview.com the two reviews of course are great. One talks about the school helping him turn into a man of honor and deepening his faith. Very nice. But how can I really know what the school is like? I don't see this kind of negativity with the other schools on my list and that also makes me nervous. Any advice? Would it be obnoxious to call the admissions office with my concerns? Won't they just tell me what I want to hear? I don't want to not pick this school because a few kids were being jerks if the overall personality of the school is acutally good. And I don't want to pick it if the kids are jerks and hazing or inappropriateness is the norm. Am I being paranoid? Any advice is appreciated.</p>
<p>You can ask Admissions to provide you with the names of a few current parents. I think they would be happy to do that. However, Admissions may ask for feedback from these parents, so just be aware of that. You can also start a new thread with the name of the school on it, and you may find some cc parents/students here. </p>
<p>Things you can look for at any school include % boarders, how many faculty live on campus, code of conduct, level of faculty oversight, etc. If your son will board far from home, it would be good to be at a school with a high % boarders, and not just local boarders. This assures that the campus does not clear out over the weekend, and that he will not be left out of non-school activities held off campus (ie --parties).</p>
<p>Regardless of where the kids go to school, they can say some insults over the internet that in the past would have been kept private. </p>
<p>You are right to research any school as thoroughly as you can. My impression is that some schools have strayed from their mission or stretched the meaning of their mission to fill spots at the school. If you want to do due diligence at the school, I suggest you ask the hard questions after your son has been accepted and received the fa you need. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>It sounds as if your concerns may keep you from sending your child to board at that school. I would call the admissions office, and outline your concerns. If the officer is willing to continue the conversation, send him an email with links to the items of concern. All schools are worried about their reputation. If a school’s students have been arrested, that’s an issue to raise with admissions. The school may have taken action already to address the issues.</p>
<p>I would put less faith in the negative review. The internet is anonymous, so you have no way of knowing if that person has any ties to the school.</p>
<p>I would also suggest that you look at these incidents from the perspective of how the school handled them when they came up. Tell the school representatives (admissions officer, parents you’re put in touch with, whoever) that you have heard of these incidents but were interested to find out what the school’s response was.</p>
<p>The truth is, every school, private or not, day school or boarding, will have to deal with misbehavior and bad decision-making by its student body. They are, after all, in the business of training young minds and part of that is teaching lessons that reinforce the individual’s moral compass. The important question for you as a parent is what sort of moral compass the school is encouraging, and how they are going about doing that.</p>
<p>Before going to Admissions and inquiring about the rumors you’ve heard or the nasty Internet volley between the rival schools’ students, I would follow one of Burb Parent’s ideas and (a) post a question about the School on this site and (b) run a search on this site for posts about the School and see if you can PM a parent or two. If your concerns remain, then call the School. Just know that Burb Parent is also right in his/her warning that any parent you might talk to (arranged by the School) will surely report back something. You don’t want that report to diminish unnecessarily your child’s chance of admission.</p>
<p>By reading your description of the two schools it seems that they may be both mostly day, with some boarders – “rival school on other end of town”. I make this supposition based on belief that there are not many boarding schools that are usually congregated in 1. a largish town, 2. this close together. If that is the case, then you can rest assured. Rivalry between private day schools in any one town is usually extremely intense and brutal. If you look at the posts – are they mainly from 10/11 grade boys and mainly refer to sports? In that case all is “normal” . Rivalry between primarily-boarding boarding schools are usually not as intense since the competition field is broader and the kids primarily see each other at sporting events, not on weekends in the same mall, and is usually more witty i.e. Taft kids meeting prospective parents at Hotchkiss and giving them a “tour” pointing out what H doesnt have and T does have.</p>