<p>***This is a PM I’ve written to a CCer that I think everyone on this thread should know:</p>
<p>To CCers on this thread:</p>
<p>I’ve made up my mind earlier today and had a well needed one-on-one talk with my parents. It was initiated by the fact that all three of us read in the paper about a girl in my class with terminal leukemia and her imminent death. We began the talk with our perceptions of what the purpose of life were. I said it was to be happy. My parents agreed although they added the fact that one must be rich enough in order to be happy and to keep off the streets (and <em>I</em> thought the implication is that it came from attending a prestigious university). We were denied many materialistic pleasures due to a tight financial situation when we first came to Oregon. Of course, since I’m the only person in the family who still attends a Christian church weekly, I wanted to bring in the gospels of God and what He wants us to do; however, I restrained myself from doing so since this requires faith on both sides if you know what I mean. </p>
<p>So instead, we focused on the newspaper topic about the girl with leukemia and somehow, I connected that topic with my academic record and college. We had a good talk about everything I learned from CC including my showing them the thread I started on CC. At first, I was afraid my parents would smite me for disclosing our family situation over a public forum, but I assured them that our last names and locations have been changed (I’m still known as Dave or David in real life and my previous posts about my circumstance are essentially true). That quieted things down a bit and we really got into the meat of the discussion. </p>
<p>One word: Epiphany!</p>
<p>In the end, I gleaned that I was being overly harsh on my perceptions about my parents and that they are not as strict as I made them out to be on CC. Sure, they want me to do well at school. Sure, they want me to go to HYPS. Sure, they want me to become a doctor and have a great future. But, I realized that they don’t impose these expectations on me any more than other Asian parents or as a matter of fact, any loving and caring parent in the world. I realized that part of the problem was just plain old me. I was being a bit too irrational on myself. I had overly ambitious goals that I subconsciously knew I may fail to accomplish, although I convinced myself that I was capable of reaching these goals. Yet, I wasted so much time convincing myself of this and worrying about that possible failure that I never really concentrated on my studies efficiently or enjoyed myself so that I wouldn’t burn out on my priorities so when cruel reality smote me on the cheek during the past year and this year, I was left thoroughly defeated, despondent, and depressed. Yes, the infallibly audacious Dave has fallen.</p>
<p>Added to all of this, I’m more cynical and pessimistic than the ordinary high school senior, so that might have played a role too. After realizing this, I’ve decided that there was nothing I really needed to worry about, so now I’m going to concentrate solely on raising my cr comprehension skills, spending more time with my family, and going through the college admissions process without being paranoid at all. I’ve even convinced myself that if all of the top students in my class made it to Yale and I only got accepted to the local community college, I would not shed a drop of tear. So, now I guess I’ve to walk the walk now that I’ve talked my talk and begin the path to selfless optimism. </p>
<p>To sum it all up, I couldn’t have done this without you and all the other CCer’s help. Your insightful advice and hopeful consolation have given me renewed hope and gotten rid of some of my vain despairs. I know that I still have a long way to change my attitude into accepting the way I am but I’m well on my way. </p>
<p>As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to keep you all updated on my admissions process since you have expressed interest in that (When the time comes, I’ll start a new thread entitled Eye on Apply: Davezhan version). If everything goes successful, I don’t know how I can repay you for your advice besides a simple thank you, a grateful heart, and a pledge to help others who are in my situation in the future. </p>
<p>Forever Grateful,
Davezhan</p>