<p><strong><em>As for my first post, I’ve received already a plethora of information and PMs, much of which reflect on the same opinions already present on this thread. I no longer need questions on the first post answered, but if you don’t mind, you can continue to give advice based on the additional information I provided below! Thanks again! I really appreciate your taking the time in reading these awkwardly long posts of mine, but I’m truly grateful for your advice. God bless!</em></strong></p>
<p>All of you left really great comments once again. A handful of you also suggested that “I change my parents’ mindset.” Clearly this is not possible for me, and you can read about it below. I think there are factors that have contributed to my not-so-perfect academic record. </p>
<p>Many people in my community including me know that I have a greater capability than I have expressed during these 3 years in high school. Since I don’t see any harm in giving a more detailed account of my life, I’ll do so in hopes that I’ll gain valuable insights and an idea of where to go from here. </p>
<p>My current situation is comparable to the book I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings to a small extent. </p>
<p>This summer, I’ve been enclosed in my house in order to study or feign studying (as I’m sometimes rebellious) for 6 hours each day. I do this to appease my parents and to give my parents peace of mind that I won’t fail my SAT IIs as I’ve done so on the cr sections of the PSAT (58) and SAT I (68). </p>
<p>I have a brother who’s one year younger, and is on a way to a brighter future than me with an 8th grade SAT score of 2090, a Freshmen composite PSAT score of 226, and a Sophomore composite of 230 (compared to my lowly 8th grade PSAT score of 1780, Freshmen PSAT 187, Sophomore PSAT 199, Junior PSAT 211, and finally Junior SATs 2260). I feel proud of him, but I’m ashamed that I couldn’t set a better example for him. As an open-minded person, I’m in no way jealous of his achievements.</p>
<p>My parents have done their duties well to raise the two of us and to let us have a good time once in a while (we are not always cloistered in the house). They’ve taken us on various campouts, local activities, and trips. We went to Portland this summer, and visited several college campuses in the area. I don’t find their request of staying at home and studying for 6 hours each day unreasonable. After all, they’ve given me everything, and what little I can do to honor their wishes should be done without question. </p>
<p>However, my personality is always in conflict with theirs. While they are sure that my dutiful preparation will guarantee a good score, I’m constantly at fear that my preparation may be in vain if I were to freak out during the test as I’ve done in my PSAT testing. Even worse, I fear that I’ll eventually disappoint them. The constant pressure of pleasing my parents academically is bad enough, but their hope that I can get into HYPS just breaks my heart. </p>
<p>As you can see, I’ve already lost esteem in getting accepted to HYPS, and the fact that my parents have put so much faith and preparation in me just makes it all the worse for me (emotionally) when they see the rejection letter from HYPS by April. Of course, I can’t read the future a few months down the road, but statistically speaking (and from these insightful responses), I’m already set up for rejection. </p>
<p>***Yet, in my mind going into HYPS isn’t my lifelong dream, but pleasing my parents is. I don’t want their fathomable reactions late April to put me into a depressing mood. Honestly, I’m happy to attend any top 50 or so colleges that would offer me a full-ride scholarship so that I won’t have to burden my parents financially. However, to my parents, matriculating from a prestigious institution will bring better jobs and higher salaries, which of course, is the ultimate goal my parents want for me. Of course, this is probably the same for almost everyone wants to be rich and influential, but my parents have a basis in believing HYPS means the start of a good future, which you can read after the next paragraph. </p>
<p>As of my situation right now, I’m already at the peak of tolerance by abiding to my parents’ wishes of staying cloistered at home over the summers (of course not including the vacation periods). Of course, I do get time off to go to Sunday services and Sunday school for 3 hours each week, I’m still socially isolated in terms of hanging out with friends. Because I’m so isolated all the time, I don’t even have what can be termed as friends right now. Maybe acquaintances or classmates when I see them but definitely not friends. Even at church, the people with whom I relate to (all of whom are white–>this makes me feel more than a bit awkward) are all distanced from me. To demonstrate my debilitating social health, the insightful posts to my questions on this thread are of more enjoyable and valuable to me than the words my so-called friends speak. Of course, I cannot place all of the blame on my parents as I’m naturally an introvert, but my social health is suffering. </p>
<p>Here’s a ‘quick’ bio-sketch of my parents and what formed the basis of their strictness and yearn for their children to attend HYPS (I’m really sorry for incorporating history into this arduously long-winded story, but I’ve learned to love history. forgive me): </p>
<p>My father was a farmer’s son and his family suffered through many hardships from the Great Leap Forward of the Communist Era of China. On the other hand, my mother grew up in the city and was directly affected by the Great Cultural Revolution, a time when Communist Leader Mao Zhe Dong forced landlords into exile or execution. Her dad was paraded through the city forced to wear a dunce cap as all local government officials or people in positions of power were forced to do. This was done to discourage people from pursuing higher education and influential status and worked at the time. Seemingly getting rid of socioeconomic classes by preserving equality among all citizens in an artificial proletariat class, the Communist Revolution backfired and gave way to years of economic backwardness, an undeveloped country, and an increasingly dictatorial regime. Until Deng Xiao Ping became the next chairman, both my parents weren’t in the best of circumstances.</p>
<p>Being liberally progressive, Deng Xiao Ping offered poor parochial students a generous stipend (more than what most common laborers earned at the time) and a promise for a better future through majoring in science. My dad was going to college at this time, so he was one of the first few to benefit from the investments in higher education. He eventually majored in electrical engineering and was named one of the top 30 Chinese scientists at that time. My mom, at the time, majored in nursing and they met and moved to Oregon. </p>
<p>***This is where and when they completely developed the steadfast belief that going to a prestigious college is tantamount to securing a future of prosperity. He was given offers to attend Cal-tech, MIT, and Harvard and major again in electrical engineer so that he could replace his Chinese degree with prestigious American degrees. Having gone to school for so long, he denied all three offers. At first, it seemed as if he’d made a good choice, but as the years passed, he grew into obscurity even though I am convinced he was and still is one of the strongest in his field. Now, he’s convinced that despite one’s ability, one must bear the mark of a prestigious institution in order to succeed. My mother also went through a similar process, so naturally she also has the same mindset. This is why my parents will not let me have any opinions on the matter of what I want versus what they want me to do to secure my own future.</p>
<p>Now, a quick bio-sketch of my personality:</p>
<p>If one word were to describe me, it would be ‘unconventional’. I strive to do things my own way and not only in academics. I always have the yearn to not follow tradition but am not so radical as to do something absolutely absurd or strange. Even my political views reflect this as I’m a moderate leftist. I tend to do things that are unprecedented, such as take physics c as a junior when only seniors take the class. I like to sing and compose and yet no one in his right mind would think I do these things by judging me on face value (I tend to be serious and sophisticated in public). I’m a poet who writes tedious essays, a science geek who loves the wilderness, a math nerd, who spends his free time (not doing math) but running cross country throughout the park and city, and an introvert who talks to strangers openly. This is me and apparently it really unnerves my parents who occasionally think that I’m missing a hundred neurons or two in my brain when I act in this manner. <–hmm, would this make a good introduction in an admissions essay?</p>
<p>Now, one last thing before I quit writing:</p>
<p>My parents want me to become a medical doctor, so eventually I’ll be matriculating to medical school. As of now, if there are any combined programs that you know of (6 years to get B.S.E. and M.D.) please let me know and provide a link while you’re at it. Thanks!</p>
<p><strong><em>If you’ve read from the first word to the last and made an insightful comment, I would really like to thank you for taking your time in doing so!</em></strong></p>