<p>This post is a little out there, but I wanted to see how some of you feel about something that came up in a recent conversation.</p>
<p>My in-laws are great people, but they've been trying to discourage my daughter from her dream of going to the Naval Academy and maybe getting to fly jets off Aircraft Carriers some day. There reasoning is that she won't ever be able to have a normal life, get married or have children, because she'll be gone so much. I did point out to them that 7 of there 10 Grandchildren were born to there three daughters after they were 30, but they weren't dissuaded. They think that she should go to the AFA because the Air Force Pilots have a much more stable life during there service. I do have to point out that my in-laws can see the AFA in Monument CO from there deck, so that is also part of there arguement.</p>
<p>I have corresponded with a woman (I won't use her name because I don't have her permission) who was one of the first Female Naval Aviators to deploy on a carrier after women could go into combat. She did 10 years and is married to another ex-navy pilot and has two beautiful children. She's in her late thirties and seems to be none the worse for wear from having kids after her service. </p>
<p>What does everyone think about family life and the military, especially those of you who have served?</p>
<p>Its only about what your daughter wants in her life, not what her parents or grandparents hope for. While its hard for us "older folks" to step aside and let them make these decisions because we have so much more "experience", we still must. We have thoughts along the same lines about our daughter at West Point.</p>
<p>To begin, Shogun is 100% correct. This is about your daughter and HER dreams, not your in-law's concerns. While I can certainly appreciate their worries, they do not have the right to try and bend your daughter to their opinions more than stating their POV to her and then shutting up.</p>
<p>Now, to answer your question....</p>
<p>Family life in the military is, as you can imagine, no cakewalk. The person in uniform can be and often is away for extended periods, and many times in circumstances that preclude a daily phone call. The facts speak for themselves: the divorce rate is higher in the military than in society as a whole. Certain services (such as the Navy) have higher rates than others due to the nature of operations. Submariners have a higher rate than Surface Warfare types. Etc., etc...</p>
<p>That said, there are PLENTY of perfectly healthy marriages in the military. Those families understand the sacrifices being made by the servicemember, and they support them in it. The kids turn out just fine.</p>
<p>So, the ultimate answer to the question actually has NOTHING to do with the military: MAKE SURE YOUR DAUGHTER UNDERSTANDS THAT SHE NEEDS TO CHOOS HER HUSBAND WISELY. I can say this both as a former serviceman (who saw his share of family problems as a DIVO) as well as one who FAILED to choose wisely when his turn came (more than once, I'm sad to say).</p>
<p>That's it, really. If your in-laws continue to push the issue, they need to be slapped down, HARD. This needs to be what SHE wants. It is one thing to lay out the facts and probabilities, but another to try and force the kid to go against her dreams if those dreams remain after a reasoned consideration of the pros and cons.</p>