Aftermath of College Study Abroad Experiences

Parents Forum
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<p>My son's college, Roanoke, offers a fun compromise to a whole semester of a study abroad and I know other colleges have similiar programs. Roanoke has a 3-4 week May term for intensive study of one subject and many have an abroad component. Each student must do one May term to graduate. I think it's a pretty cool concept - you study something intensely in the classroom and then you go out into the field for some hands on study.</p>

<p>My daughter had a slight re-entry bump after her quarter of student teaching off campus. When she got back some of her friends were on abroads and other friendships had formed. I didn't know anything about that until she came home for her Spring break so I guess it wasn't that bothersome.</p>

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<p>Interesting topic. My college D spent junior year off campus, split between D.C. and Budapest. The return home for the summer had only some parent-daughter frictions of a mostly minor variety, or so I think. But the processing of the Budapest experience was a while. D and most of her classmates, with the possible exception of those where were into clubbing and/or were gay, never really connected with Hungarian age peers. A number of things about Hungary really grated at her and the annoyance seemed to deepen even after she returned home, everything from the leftovers of a Soviet-era work ethic in many Hungarians to the ripples from living in a society that is about as sexist, if not more so, as mid-1950's America, the latter of which <em>really</em> got under her skin...and to her startlement, did not get under the skin of some of her small-town American classmates. An education, if an unintended one.</p>

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<p>The unintended part is often the most valuable in exchanges. As my D was in the Czech Republic for a year, I understand some of those issues. Learning to value your own culture in new ways can be one of the surprises.</p>

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<p>I spent my junior year in Luxembourg. I was very happy to leave my college for a year and never thought I was missing anything there. No problems coming back--returning to the same summer job I'd had the year before probably helped. Spent 2 years in Africa after graduation. It was a more difficult adjustment--but nice to be home. It was strange speaking American English again--it seemed like I'd lost 2/3 of my vocabulary. And I felt that people didn't appreciate all they had here in the US; I felt they took it all for granted and I wished they knew how the rest of the world lives--but they weren't interested in hearing about it from me.</p>

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<p>That feeling 'not interested in hearing about it from me' is a common one in returning from exchange. You've learned so much, gained great perspective on your own culture, other cultures, and perhaps the human condition. And your friends just want to talk about what they did last Saturday night. Very dispiriting. I first went abroad at age 16 with my dad to visit family in Scotland, lived overseas at times in the years since. Have noticed this many, many times. Though I pick my friends better now, and this country now is far more worldly than years ago, so interesting discussion do ensue. Finally.</p>

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<p>GLM, I like the Czech Republic but D was quick to point out that I seldom got very far beyond the touristy areas of District I and when I did venture even 6-8 blocks from the tourist areas the amount of English spoken decreased dramatically and it was hard to gauge the attitude. But from my impressions, I like the Czechs as people (and they have a lovely national anthem) whereas while I like the Hungarians, they have a feeling of having been beaten down...perhaps not surprising after four centuries of Turks, Habsburgs, Nazis, and Soviets...that the Czechs do not. Both seem very attuned to their history.</p>

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<p>One of mine recently came back from a 6-month research internship in a far-far-away country ruled by a nasty dictator (thank goodness, everything was OK!). Wanted to be a doctor before the trip, now wants to be a researcher with a fancy MD/PhD title (10 more years in school - goodbye, grandkids?). To tell you the truth, we are very proud and happy that this trip turned our baby into a very responsible adult. It is going to be one more year of undergrad tuition and a "supersenior" status, but it is worth it. Then the grad/med. school... Yikes!</p>

<p>BB.</p>

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<p>As an engineering prof I have had an increasing number of studend who have taken advantage of study abroad opportunities.</p>

<p>The experiences have been variable. For some it was a fantastic academic and cultural experience. For others the opposite has been true. I recieved an email from a student last week who is in Finland for two periods(about one semester in our parlance) who feels that things are going far too slowly in the classroom thus far. In the past others have not been housed in apts with the general student population but "segregated" in special housing situations. A friend's daughter attending Conn College had great difficulty in scheduling courses of interest to her.</p>

<p>So students and parents need to do their homework when considering study abroad programs.</p>

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<p>mathmom - I don't think I would have been comfortable for her spend a gap year abroad just out of high school, aside from the fact she wasn't even 18 when she left for school (add in the fact that my mom died four weeks before D1 left for school, and a week into school, a dear friend of hers was killed in a car crash on his way home for Labor Day weekend, and we flew her home for the funeral). Had she been abroad when these things happened, I think it would have been too much to handle. If they had happened last spring, I think she would have been more emotionally mature to deal with them from afar.</p>

<p>I guess the point of my posing the issue was that it's something I wish I had been more tuned into upon her return home, then her return to school. I might have had some conversation with her about it. I wouldn't advise anyone to not do study abroad with the anticipation that their child would struggle upon return, because I value the struggle as another opportunity to grow as an adult, especially as they are getting ready to enter the adult world... even if it's painful. What's the saying... what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.</p>

<p>I hope this thread offers parents whose kids are either abroad right now, or considering it in the future more educated on some of the possible reactions when their student returns to either home or campus.</p>

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<p>terriwtt- I hope your d's re-adjustment keeps getting easier and easier. But you've made some good points for the rest of us. </p>

<p>For future study abroad kids--
It may be important to see if your kids school has any post study abroad events to help ease the kids re-adjust to the school environment.</p>

<p>I remember my d got a pamphlet this summer from her school's (Cornell)Study Abroad Program. I gave it a quick glance when we received it, but in reading this thread, I went back to it to see if there were any tips- advice etc. </p>

<p>Let me tell you-- I think alot of schools realize that there is a definite adjustment period for some kids. Cornell seems to do a pretty good job in trying to get their kids back into the "swing of things".</p>

<p>They had a Welcome Back Reception for all study abroad kids within a few days from when school began-- </p>

<p>They have special Resume writing clinics to help kids write-up the study abroad program in their resumes--</p>

<p>They Have photo contests and award prizes for best pictures taken during their study abroad period--</p>

<p>They included a passage: "Re-entry and Reverse Culture Shock" which was adapted from "Welcome Home: Managing Reentry or Reverse Culture Shock" by Alice Wu and "The Top Ten Immediate Reentry Challenges by Dr. Bruce LaBrack. It seems to be in a similar vein to what Great Lake Mom posted--
(they say the adjustment period can last for a month or more- so hopefully by Columbus Day, she'll be doing fine)</p>

<p>So I think colleges are aware of the problems and challenges kids face on their re-entry.</p>

<p>Terri- it may be worth your while to see if the Syracuse Study Abroad Program has similar information or resources. If I hadn't specifically looked on their site today, I do not think that I would have realized Cornell had a process in place to help kids re-adjust to the home campus.</p>

<p>This may be something parents want to check out too before they decide to send the kids on a Study Abroad Program. What resources does your kids school have to help the student ease back in to their school environment??</p>

<p>My guess is that your daughter's experience may not be that uncommon, as Cornell did seem to have a pretty extensive process in helping the kids re-adjust.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
mathmom - I don't think I would have been comfortable for her spend a gap year abroad just out of high school, aside from the fact she wasn't even 18 when she left for school

[/quote]
My youth (I graduated at 16) was part of the reason my parents liked the idea of my spending a year in France before going to college. I lived with a French family and went to a program that was full of Europeans taking gap years as well. I did come back with an interest in architecture and a realization that maybe I didn't want to be an academic. It's certainly not right for everyone, but I do think a lot of kids would benefit from a gap year, and learning to speak a foreign language fluently is a huge leg up for some majors like history.</p>

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<p>marny1 - good idea to check the website. I did, and of course they had information about re-entry culture shock - I may have looked at it, oh nine months ago, but completely forgot it was there. The Syracuse site has a link to the Ball State Study Abroad website which offer just a little more information about re-entry. </p>

<p>However, the focus seems to be on readjustment to home life, which I feel I was sensitive to back in May. When 3 1/2 months goes by before they return to campus, one tends to forget that there also needs to be a campus re-entry adjustment. I think that's what I became oblivious to, not that it was necessarily my place to fix it for her, but I just might have been more sensitive to her moods earlier this week. I might have had a different perspective - lesson learned for the likelihood that D2 will choose to go abroad also at some point! Perhaps I assumed that, once she made her adjustment at home, everything else would be fine. </p>

<p>Less than a week after returning home, we did pay for her to visit school for a few days since several of her friends were graduating and wouldn't be there when she returned to campus in the fall. In hindsight, that was probably a good idea - it let her touch base with many people so that there wasn't a December to late August absence from them. Since she's a Midwest girl, and her campus is predominantly East Coast kids, she doesn't have the luxury of quick trips to visit kids after they graduate. I also am pretty sure she wants to return to the Midwest upon graduation.</p>

<p>By the way, she did end up having a great birthday. I learned a couple of good lessons regarding sending packages, though. I sent her a box with several things, one of which was a small gift box of Godiva chocolates... which melted before they arrived - lesson learned, sending chocolate in September is not safe. I almost sent her a bottle of wine for her to celebrate with - when I was at the post office and the clerk asked if there were any perishables, liquids, etc. in the package, I said no, then added that I almost sent a bottle of wine, but was concerned if it broke, it would get all over the clothing I was also sending. The clerk told me it is illegal to send alcohol through the mail. I didn't know this - again, note to self - do not send liquor through the U.S. mail system.</p>

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<p>this is an interesting thread to read because I'm only a hs junior but I visited Europe (London, Paris, Barcelona) last year and absolutely loved everything about it, and I really want to do study abroad when I go to college. I actually would love to go to college in Europe, but the differences in the educational system are not so appealing and neither is the cost.
so yeah.
any suggestions on how to go about study abroad?</p>

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<p>I hope this thread offers parents whose kids are either abroad right now, or considering it in the future more educated on some of the possible reactions when their student returns to either home or campus,<<</p>

<p>I think it is a good heads up. My son is going to Rome in the spring as a sophomore, and I know already that he is, in fact, escaping from upstate NY, and will find it hard to return the next fall.</p>

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<p>2incollege - I wonder if this is a upstate NY phenomenon to prefer the spring semester abroad over fall. D tells me that the spring abroad is much more popular with Syracuse students because they want to escape the dreaded months of January and February (and March I guess). And that's how it worked for my D. Her first two years in Syracuse, they had some of the mildest winters in history. This last spring term she was gone, they officially canceled university classes in Syracuse for the first time in over 20 years due to snow. Ironically, while she was in London, they received about 2" snow, and it basically shut the city down!</p>

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<p>This thread has really been informative. Both of my kids have experienced study abroad programs, and their transitions have been different. The first time S studied abroad it was a short (several weeks) summer program that was geared specifically to his major, so that was a very positive outcome without any problem transitioning back to his regular program. The second study abroad experience was somewhat different in that he had the choice to studying with one program or another but both were in the same study abroad country, and he just couldn't decide which path to pursue. In this case, he took one program over the other, but then had doubts about the one that he didn't pursue. As a result, he was second-guessing his choice, and wondering if he made a mistake choosing one program over another. Also, he wasn't sure whether or not he should even have even taken the study abroad to begin with - he was concerned about what he might be missing during the school semester, friends, etc. D studied abroad during the summer and had a wonderful experience, and is planning on returning to the same country for another study abroad. She is planning on going when most of her friends will also be studying abroad - not necessarily all in the same country, but they will at least be abroad so they can visit each other.</p>

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<p>Study abroad? More like <em>living</em> abroad for me! I unintentionally spent 7 1/2 months in Israel- never, ever left the country except for a 4 day weekend trip to Prague in February. My workload mostly consisted of Hebrew language study... I totally immersed myself in the Israeli culture and society after my family left for the last 2/3s of my stay. I stayed through the summer (partly because I didn't get any internships and partly because I LOVED THAT COUNTRY!) to finish a term paper and take another round of Hebrew classes. And of course, going into Tel Aviv for the beach on Fridays. I was literally hanging out with the Israelis by July instead of the Americans (with the exception of my roommates).</p>

<p>I. Loved. Every. Moment. I. Had. In. Israel. I was certainly not ready to go back home when I was supposed to in June. I had to trick my mind into thinking that I'd be returning to the States for "an extended visit" because I wanted to stay so badly. Had it not been for my school and the need to graduate, I would've stayed. </p>

<p>I experienced a lot of culture shock- actually my summer roommates started it off because they were <em>fresh</em> (if you know what I mean). Starbucks suddenly tasted too sweet. High-processed foods really taste like nothing but crap for your body. The feeling of discomfort and sadness when you overhear other people NOT speaking the language you were desperately trying to learn. The sight of the American flag- creating conflicts of what America means to you now after being away for so long. The heightened awareness of diet, exercise, and calories... The slam of brand-name advertisements in your face when you open up the paper or walk down 5th Ave. The familiar sight of NYT crossword puzzles. Re-learning how Americans drive compared to the drivers in the country you were in (ex: Israelis tailgate, Americans speed) The list can go on- it's not the big stuff, it's the little things that set people off. Like they say, even small things add up a whole lot.</p>

<p>Yes, senior year has been tough so far. Even though I studied pretty hard in Hebrew, the courseload at Colgate is unbelievable. Remember, not only seniors are dealing with looking for jobs but also applying to graduate schools and fellowships which require essay writing and interviews... and their senior seminar... Oh my. My plate is so full. I was definitely depressed and wishing I could just go back to Israel but my grandmother suggested that I talk to other people who were abroad. So I used the free moments during the sorority recruitment/rush to talk to my sisters who were abroad.... I felt a lot better afterwards! Also, if the school's crazy busy as Colgate is, the seniors will get back into the groove quite fast that study abroad experience seems kind of secondary. </p>

<p>Additionally, if the senior has a very strong desire to go back, there's always the Fulbright. </p>

<p>There are some things that will still always be painful. The most obvious is how the Americans can't speak Hebrew well when I go to synagogue services!!!</p>

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<p>tickleme- you reminded me of another concern my d had. The courseload and depth of classes at Cornell is a wee bit harder than her courses in Italy. She too was a bit concerned about "mentally preparing" herself for classes back at Cornell. But it's been about 3 weeks since classes begin and she is definitely up to speed.</p>

<p>Again- I think with most kids they do re-adjust within a few weeks, but there are some issues out there that may not be obvious for kids returning from their study abroad experience. </p>

<p>For those reading this thread, don't just look at the negative side. Most of the kids (or parents in our kids behalf) have said, they would do the experience again in a heartbeat. And a few of us have mentioned that our kids are planning to do a return trip abroad- be it post graduate studies, or Internship. We're in the process of planning Study Abroad program for d </p>

<h1>2- so all the negative issues can be resolved-- especially if you can anticipate some of the problems and know there is help out there.</h1>

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<p>ticklemepink - thanks so much for your insight. As you shared so eloquently, I was able to recall the little things D yearned for after living in London: sales people that don't stalk you in a store; wait staff that leaves you alone when your meal arrives; not having to tip so much more at restaurants; standing right, passing left on escalators; no 'loud and obnoxious' Americans; people dress professionally for their jobs; fresh food at markets; acknowledging someone's presence with a kind greeting; reliable and affordable public transportation and walking as opposed to driving everywhere or taking taxis; free museums in London; getting equal time from news around the world as opposed to just local or national news; dirt cheap flights for long weekend getaways; the list goes on.</p>

<p>But you are correct - it's not necessarily studying abroad, it's living abroad when you are on your own for such a lengthy period, responsible for your rent, food, flat, transportation, etc. My daughter was able to arrange her class schedule so that she was only in classes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but of course it was all day. It freed up her up for longer weekends to do some exploring. She wasn't taking any language classes, which certainly have an added dimension of daily homework to allow full immersion of it.</p>

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<p>D had the same feeling about her study abroad/living in Paris, and that's why she wants to return asap. This will be her third time (first time visiting her brother when he studied abroad in London), the second time this summer, and now looking forward to going back for Spring semester. She also strongly identifies with certain aspects of French culture, and she is becoming very fluent in the language, so that's been very helpful.</p>