<p>Here is my essay for Cornell, I better finish it soon, but I'm seven words over the 250 word limit and there's nothing I can see do to fix it. Any suggestions and comments on this essay would be appreciated. Thanks.</p>
<p>Prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you</p>
<p>Without science and technology, man would still be living in the dark ages. Fortunately, humans alike have shared a common goal, which is to gain information and harness it for the good of mankind. Throughout my academic endeavors Ive shared this common thread with many as I strive for excellence in the areas of science and mathematics.</p>
<p>My will to acquire knowledge has stayed with me since I was very young. As I grew, I gradually narrowed down my passion. Currently, I have declared engineering as my future career since it allows me to incorporate both of my intellectual interests and apply them for the better of mankind.</p>
<p>What makes these areas intriguing is the abundance of knowledge thats still unknown to us. As my lifes work, I plan on furthering the understanding of our universe and allowing these discoveries to be at our disposal. Galileo and Newton, two central founding fathers in the areas of motion and gravity were once ridiculed for their ideas. However, without their ideas, we wouldnt have been able to set foot on the moon or explore planets outside of our own. I believe scientists and engineers must have courage: not the type of courage youd expect from superman, but audacity to overstep boundaries and dismiss any ridicule that may come in their way. So essentially, scientists are heroes too, they have made our lives easier and more worthwhile. As long as curiosity thrives within me, Ill seek to attain my goals and become one who works for the benefit of mankind.</p>
<p>"As I grew, I gradually narrowed down my passion to engineering as it allows me incorporate both of my intellectual interests and apply them for the better of mankind."</p>
<p>This change saves you 8 words. Stick in an adjective somehwere and you'll be back to 250.</p>
<p>Your essay's not bad. You're obviously a competent writer and have some good ideas, but I think you're overall topic is a bit cliche. </p>
<p>It's fine though as is. A few touch ups here and there and you're good to go. Only suggestion I'd make would be to emphasize the boldness/courage idea more and relate how that applies to you.</p>
<p>Something close to my finished product in 247 words...what do you think? Thanks for your comments and suggestions, everyone. :)</p>
<p>DESCRIBE YOUR INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS, THEIR EVOLUTION, AND WHAT MAKES THEM EXCITING TO YOU</p>
<p>Without the wonders of science and technology, men would still be struggling and competing to survive. Fortunately, humans alike have shared a common goal of attaining information and harnessing it for the good of mankind. In my academic endeavors I share this common thread as I strive for excellence in the areas of science and mathematics.</p>
<p>My thirst for knowledge has been apparent since I was very young. As I grew, I narrowed down my passion to engineering as it allows me to incorporate both of my intellectual interests and apply them for the better of mankind.</p>
<p>What makes these areas intriguing is the immeasurable amount of knowledge within our grasps. As my lifes work, I plan on furthering the understanding of our universe and providing these innovations to be at our disposal. Galileo and Newton, two central founding fathers in the areas of motion and gravity were once ridiculed for their ideas. However, without them, we wouldnt have been able to set foot on the moon or explore other savage territories. Therefore, I believe scientists and engineers must have courage: not the type of courage youd expect from superman, but audacity to overstep boundaries, fight through obstacles, and dismiss any ridicule that may delay their progress. So essentially, scientists are heroes too, they have made our lives easier and more worthwhile. As long as curiosity thrives within me, Ill proudly seek to attain my goals and become one who works for the benefit of the world.</p>
<p>If you set an essay down for awhile and come back to it a day later you can usually find many words to leave out. I could see a lot of places where I felt you used more words than needed. More concise is usually more clear and results in a tighter, cleaner essay.</p>
<p>My thirst for knowledge has been apparent since I was very young. As I grew, I narrowed down my passion to engineering as it allows me to incorporate both of my intellectual interests and apply them for the better of mankind.</p>
<p>SMall suggestion - see if this works, i thought it made better sense</p>
<p>My thirst for knowledge has been apparent to me and others since I was very young. As I grew, I narrowed down my passion to engineering as it allows me to incorporate both of my intellectual interests.</p>
<p>Don't know for the betterment of mankind sounds too nerdy or high-handed to me! But hey its just a suggestion!</p>
<p>are you guys kidding? no one actually counts the number of words in your essay. haha they don't waste time making sure kids stayed under the limit. just as long as it's less than a page you don't need to worry, and even if it's more i don't think they'll care.
the only reason they say 250 is so overachiever kids don't send in 15 page term papers. you can do 200 or 300 it really doesn't matter.</p>