Alma Mater?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Something I have been musing on recently:</p>

<p>How much did the college you attended really affect you, your career and character? Was it anything like the "mother of your soul", or was your soul entirely formed elsewhere?</p>

<p>For me, I think the answer is "not much". I was the kind of person who went to an elitist college, and I did. I thought it was perfect in every respect, much better than any other option, and I loved it to death. But with 30 years' perspective, I am pretty certain I would have felt exactly the same way about 20-30 other institutions, at least, and would have emerged the same person from any of them. Maybe I wouldn't have met and gotten involved with my wife without our college's semi-unique social structure, but when I went to grad school at a very different university, I had no trouble meeting and befriending similar people (which is to say people very different than me) there, too.</p>

<p>My wife would probably give a different answer. She wasn't raised with the same sense of entitlement and connectedness that I was, and she might very well have spent her career as an outsider rather than an insider if she had gone someplace that was less connected to the Establishment and where the Establishment was less permeable. She might also have been led to develop a trade other than Changing The World. And she certainly believes that she would never have spoken to anyone like me at almost any other college.</p>

<p>My kids both go/went to a college with a definite character, but it is one that reflects their (our) values, and it's hard to say that it has changed them much. College had a huge effect on one of my siblings -- she has lived the rest of her life nearby, her college friends are still the center of her social world, and she pretty much embodies many of its values. My other sibs? They went to big state schools, had a good time, and left with their tickets punched and no discernible long-term effects (or relationships, after a couple of years).</p>

<p>College changed my father utterly. He entered his New England LAC a wiseacre lower-middle-class Jew (Philip Roth, who grew up across the street from him, describes their youth extensively in his novels), and he left a functional WASP. My mother always claimed to have been deeply influenced by the particular politics of her California women's college, but I have no doubt she would be exactly the same person had she joined her cousins at Smith, Radcliffe, or Wellesley, or for that matter her brother at Wisconsin.</p>

<p>How about you? Did it make a difference, or not.</p>

2

<p>College was indeed the mother of my soul. Due mainly to my interactions with classmates at Harvard, I transformed from being a small town, naive, conservative, provincial, constricted teen to being the person whom I am now: a flaming liberal, sophisticated, gregarious, creative, well traveled person with the courage and skills to serve and to have served in a variety of leadership roles including in national organizations.</p>

<p>I would not be the same person if I hadn’t gone to a college with so many students who were so knowledgeable, confident, sophisticated, and motivated to make a difference in the world and to also reach for their challenging dreams.</p>

3

<p>I don’t think that my alma mater greatly affected me, my career or my character. I greatly enjoyed my years there and the people that I met, I do think I got a good education, and it launched me into a top-10 law school, but I would not consider it a life changing experience. I’m sure I could have had an equally good experience and gotten an equally good education at any number of other institutions. I also have to admit, with 20/20 hindsight, that I did not take advantage of many of the opportunities offered at my school. I was too immature at the time to fully appreciate them.</p>

4

<p>I went to a UC school, and my H went to Big 10 schools. I think our schools did broaden our “horizons” and expose us to other people, other ideas, other cultures. I don’t think the schools, by themselves, helped us with our careers (re: job placement); although I’m sure the “school names” helped. :slight_smile: </p>

<p>That said, I wouldn’t place any pressure on any our kids to go to our alma maters. For one, we don’t live in those states - therefore the OOS fees would be crazy and not worth it. :frowning: Furthermore, we really couldn’t argue that “only” those schools would be right for our kids, or that only those schools could provide what they needed. </p>

<p>I think with the rising costs of private colleges and OOS tuition for publics, fewer parents are willing to demand/expect their kids to attend their alma maters. </p>

<p>I think any good-sized school that draws its students from across the nation (even if the majority are from the regional area), is going to have a positive impact on its students. :)</p>

5

<p>I have always held the opinion that college is more important for developing character than book learning. So, yes, I think it can make a huge difference in your life.</p>

<p>If you attend your parents’ alma mater (or one very similar), however, it probably won’t change you much.</p>

6

<p>^^^ good point…hadn’t thought about that…</p>

<p>But (not to be contrarian), thankfully, many strong colleges hire their profs from the various top universities across the nation, so at least the educational atmosphere will have some diverse thought.</p>

7

<p>My alma mater had a great effect on me because of the opportunities I received, but I think similar opportunities could have occurred elsewhere.</p>

8

<p>Oh yeah it changed me. I arrived on campus preppily dressed to the nines in plaid pants and a white polo shirt to encounter a roommate from somewhere in New York gingerly lining her pot plants on the window sill and listeniing to Ravi Shankar who had already decorated the room and pretty much it went from there. That said, I went in a small town girl and thinking law and came out the other end with a different direction, a broader understanding of people and entirely different outlook on the country and world because of my classmates, because of my travels in the US and on foreign study and because of many late nights arguing about everything under the sun. Ironically it was my “second choice” school because my parents forbade my first choice and I would have made a heck of a lawyer I’ve been told. BTW, I killed the pot plants, she never knew how they died, because I was afraid of getting in trouble LOL and we roomed together again by choice junior year.</p>

9

<p>Far more impacted by the colleges where I’ve worked than the ones that I attended many moons ago. Some places are a pleasure to work at; some are pure hell; some are both, at different times, depending on who’s calling the shots.</p>

10

<p>“My alma mater had a great effect on me because of the opportunities I received, but I think similar opportunities could have occurred elsewhere.” </p>

<p>I would agree with that.</p>

11

<p>Mine did not have a great effect on me. I probably chose wrong, although I have fond memories and am a supporter of the school (large state u not in my home state). I rushed myself through in 3 years and have almost no contact with anyone from college. I did develop my love for college basketball there, which is not an insignificant thing because it has served me well socially and professionally. I also discovered that I wanted to be a lawyer, and I feel my law school (top 5) had a much greater effect on “who I am”, especially since I learned very quickly that I was no longer at the top of the heap smarts-wise.</p>

12

<p>My state college gave me a great education and a head-start on a challenging and properous career. This was important so that I can support my family while paying WAY too much in taxes to finance the prior poster’s “flaming liberal” (her words) social agenda!</p>

13

<p>My college (a Big Ten state flagship research university) had a big impact on me, but mostly because working my way through it put me deeply into the working class for quite a few years. If I had been at any other kind of college on scholarship, my whole launch into adulthood would have been very different. So I don’t have a strong connection to my alma mater, although I would be happy if any of my children attended it, as long as they don’t have to go there in conditions of such unremitting poverty. </p>

<p>After edit: having read replies above, yes, I would say living abroad after college was much more formative of my personality than going to college. And I met my wife during my stay overseas, so that influence is still ongoing.</p>

14

<p>College affected me greatly and I loved my alma mater (Cornell). What is hard to separate is what about my experience was unique to Cornell … and in my case I went to my first choice school that felt like a perfect fit when I visited and was a terrific fit… I think there were 3 affects from my experience.</p>

<p>1) A generic maturing and intellectual growth that would have occured at virtually any college</p>

<p>2) A growth from being at a challenging school with other top students … I was pretty immature and being thrown into the deep end (with no shallow end to retreat to) forced me to grow up … I think was a HUGE factor in my growth during college … but there is a pretty large subset of schools that could have provided this experience.</p>

<p>3) Cornell specific experiences … while I doubt there are many life altering experiences that are totally unique to Cornell I do think it is on a pretty small list of schools that could have provided attributes that were very important to my college experince. I loved being at big school, in a college own, with top students, with a stealth intellectual feel to it (kids are really smart but act pretty typical out of class), and laid-back. That list of schools (including my possible majors) is pretty short … and I do think this environment was perfect for the HUGE growth and change in me that started during college.</p>

<p>When I look at my life I see some wandering but the path has been pretty consistant even as my life has unfolded and eveolved … and Cornell was a HUGE stymilus at the start of the journey … I can not imagine a much better awakening for during my 18-22 years.</p>

15

<p>AllThisIsNewtoMe…</p>

<p>Too funny…but also so true…and it’s gonna get a lot worse. :(</p>

16

<p>No, my alma mater did not have a big effect on me. College in and of itself had a huge effect. Just going to college made the difference. I came fr. a small town in the middle of nowhere. I ended up going to two state u’s. (transferred after soph. yr). Just going to college opened my eyes to the world. There were more people at my colleges than in the whole county I was from. I think going to the big state u’s. did effect/change me more than if I had gone to a small college but the effect would have been the same no matter which one I had grad. from.</p>

<p>I do have great sentimental feelings for my sch., all the more because S2 now attends as have other family members.</p>

17

<p>The rockiest years of my life happened from the age of 18 to 21. And I mean that in the worst emotional, financial, medical, and intellectual ways. I think about it often and still don’t know if my college (an in-state directional) was the cause of it all or my shelter through the storm. One day I’ll write a book and my readers (or the movie’s director :wink: ) can decide. </p>

<p>Anyway, it was there that I met the love of my life. And everything has been wonderful since. So, I guess my college really did affect me.</p>

18

<p>Doug + Betsy = love of their lives…</p>

<p>Ahhhhh…</p>

<p>:)</p>

19

<p>I went to my college for 5 years (college in India used to be 5 years back then, with High school being for 11 years), so it should have mattered that I spent so much time there. But looking back, it mattered and it didn’t. </p>

<p>It mattered in that I got a great technical education and I am reaping the benefits of getting a great science, math and engineering education. I have a good standard of living as a result and I am grateful to my college for giving me that. I have had 27 years of continuous employment as a result.</p>

<p>It did not matter as such, because I wish I had studied less hard and made more of an impact socially in college while I was there. And it did not matter that much because I wish my education was more well-rounded and that I had a better foundation in the Humanities and liberal arts than I got there.</p>

20

<p>I went to Harvard as a theoretically well-connected preppy and probably came out much more influenced by the Philip Roth types. I never knew the future masters of the universe, only met one person in a finals clubs, none of my friends were wealthy or well-connected, and most of them were distinctly nerdy (mostly scientists and musicians). I’ve often regretted that I didn’t get more out of my Harvard years - though I don’t regret that the power elite eluded me. For various reasons the house system, as admirable as it is, failed me - though my last two years were better than my first two - I spent my freshman year trying out things I was unsuited for and then didn’t join enough organizations after that. I never really caught up. That said, I did get a pretty good education and was much happier there than I was in grad school which was a truly miserable three years! I certainly could have been happy many other places including JHS’s Alma Mater. I did meet my dh there and we are still happily married 25 years later. </p>

<p>Harvard made a huge difference for my Dad. He was a midwest boy, son of an immigrant. He had definite goals in life and fulfilled them getting to the top of his profession. He married a young woman from an old Boston family and enjoyed those connections I think, though my mother’s family was sort of flaky.</p>