I’m a sophomore at Penn. Due to some bad luck and some poor decisions Greek life didn’t really work out for me, despite how much it appealed to me and how much I wanted to get involved. Now that I’m about halfway through college, it looks like I might have to find something else to serve the purpose of being in a fraternity. My question is this: what kinds of clubs or activities at Penn offer the same benefits of Greek life, namely a sense of belonging/community and a consistent social outlet (with access to parties)? Keep in mind that I’m not a minority, so I can’t take advantage of those types of clubs.
An additional (but related) question: I am actually from Philadelphia (the Far Northeast), so what might be a good way for me to meet fellow Philly kids at Penn? I know there is a large demographic of Philly kids here, however I’ve never seen any clubs or programs specifically designed to bring them together. I was thinking about possibly starting a Philly sports interest club. Any other ideas?
Why be so parochial in your thinking? You seem to have a desire for an exclusive social connection. Why not just participate in intramural sports or some clubs without any exclusionary criteria? I guess I don’t understand what you are really asking.
I am open to the idea of clubs and intramural sports, but everything so far that I’ve joined doesn’t have a strong community at all. I’ve been a member of club rugby, intramural flag football and softball, a service club, a tutoring organization, and others. I just haven’t found the same benefits that a fraternity offers. I feel like varsity sports and certain performance art groups might offer a community feel, but those are only for certain people.
I’m just a parent on these boards so I’ll give advice from that perspective.
Seek some guidance on campus. I know there are like 300 clubs and organizations on campus. Your challenge is not a lack of opportunity to be part of a group. It’s something else. A need for affiliation, connection and good times that you aren’t getting now. It may just be a matter of clarifying what you want or it may mean looking inside yourself to figure out why none of these organizations meets your needs.
It’s tough To feel left out in a school with 10,000 students. I suggest you speak to an advisor about your situation. Maybe another set of eyes may help give you some perspective on your predicament. Those eyes need to be closer to the situation than here in a forum though.
All the best to you,
Peace.
I get what you’re saying. People always say – every school has 200-300 clubs, there’s something for everyone, but they don’t realize that many (most?) clubs lack a sense of community. At Penn – I didn’t find the service clubs or tutoring ECs or the clubs pertaining to majors to be useful from a “making friends” perspective. The mentality in those is a lot like HS – you show up either alone or with your existing friends, you do the service project/tutoring assigned to you or you sit quietly and listen to whatever speaker the finance club has brought in this month – and you grab a slice of pizza and leave. I always got the sense that a lot of people at Penn do a lot of things simply to put on their resume – just like HS.
Frats and performing arts groups are different bc they are together ALL THE TIME. Frat members basically hang out together all the time; when the weather gets nice, the ones on Locust Walk pull couches outside and basically hang out there from the moment they are done classes until they go to sleep; and they organize their own activities like pick up football games or whatever. Performance arts groups – same thing – you are going to bond with people if you are with them for 3 hr rehearsals 5x/week.
So I’d suggest – instead of joining one activity that you really want to do that involves a time commitment, rather than joining 5 clubs. I’m kind of surprised that you didn’t make friends through club/intramural sports; how often were you all getting together and was it the same people every time? Were they just not your kind of people? If you’re into sports – I’d give that another try or maybe even try to get your own group together to play a weekly pick up game or tennis or whatever; not sure how many takers you’d have now that finals are getting close – but as the weather gets nice, if you send out a blast announcement for anyone who wants to go hit tennis balls at x time at y place, you’ll find people. This won’t be a way to make lasting friendships in April though, as you’d likely only be able to do this a few times before people scatter.
Next semester – would you consider joining the DP or taking pictures for them? Would you consider joining one of the Wharton groups that puts together conferences (the Restructuring Conference; the Energy Business conference etc.); they are open to undergrads and not just Wharton students – they are time consuming endeavors (not overly – but enough that you see the same people week after week as you put together a finished product), so you’d get a sense of community.
With the number of students that are on campus, there is a social group of like minded students for everyone. The problem is finding it! I think @madaboutx may be right that the guidance office may be the best place to talk about your interests and try to identify groups you are most likely to connect strongly with. It can’t hurt to try.
I think that trying to do it on your own can be difficult at this point. It really helps to have some expert advice. I hope you find your niche soon! 
I think you’re right about seeking guidance, the only question is where can I get it. What kind of adviser on campus could I reach out to that has experience dealing with these types of situations (social adjustment, club search, etc.) and can provide useful input? The only advisers I’m aware of are academic or career related. I’ve gone to CAPS before (mental health counseling), but usually they don’t really provide much advice but rather just offer a set of ears for you to vent about your problems.
I think the problem is that I haven’t joined the right clubs. The social atmosphere of club rugby was really bad…it was extremely competitive and a lot of people there seemed pretty cocky and closed to the idea of making friends. Just my impression, but that’s what I got from it. And intramurals I haven’t been that heavily involved with so there could still be hope there, but one problem with the intramural system is that teams are generally formed when students make a team with their friends. I.e., there isn’t really a good option for someone who wants to join in order to meet new people. You do provide a lot of good advice though. I’ve thought about writing for the DP before, so I may try to do that next semester.
Have you looked at this?
http://www.admissions.upenn.edu/life-at-penn/student-activities
I actually have looked through the student club directory before. I find that this is good for filtering clubs according to interest, which is an important starting point, but the descriptions (and even the linked websites or facebook pages) don’t really reveal the actual nature of the club, i.e. how often does it meet, how close the members are, whether it actually resembles a community, etc. I thought maybe meeting with an adviser could answer some of those questions, but I guess the only good way to find out is by reaching out to someone in the club and maybe attending a couple meetings. It’s just that given the little time left in the semester I won’t be able to do that for the breadth of clubs I’m considering
It may be a better time to talk to people now and then to join in the Fall. You’ll have the summer to decide and plan how you will contribute to the organization. It may be better than starting the process over in the Fall and getting halfway thru another year with no choices made.
@Phillyboy01 There will be a exhibit area for Quaker Days where incoming freshmen can talk to members and get information about lots of clubs and activities. It you have an opportunity you may want to walk around the exhibit hall and see what looks interesting!
Phillyboy01, I’m sorry you’re running into social frustrations. It’s easy to get lost in a crowd of 10,000, which is why so many students choose small schools, or opt not to live in cities. When I was at Penn (decades ago, so my advice may be outdated), people’s roommates, hallmates, or dormmates most often became their core group of friends, at least initially. I lived in two college houses, successively, and lived in group houses on and off campus during the summer, and those were a great source of friendships, as the residents were always hanging out together, and the college houses planned social activities. What’s your living situation? Is it possible at this point to change it to something more communal?
People also sometimes made friends through jobs. I worked checking i.d.'s at one of my dorms, and this kind of post was particularly social, because students tended to congregate and chat at the checkpoint. Same for the library i.d./bag checkers. Also people see you there all the time and eventually get to recognize and know you. People I knew who worked in restaurants near campus seemed to become friends with their coworkers, usually also students.
Something as simple as choosing the same location in one of the libraries to study in all the time could lead to friendships, eventually, with the other regulars who choose the same spot night after night. And you can see what they’re reading and studying, so that provides an instant conversation topic. Study groups can lead to friendships as well – you must be in or coming up on finals, so that’s something you might be able to try now.
Hitting the dining hall at the end of the shift, when it was emptier, made it easier to chat with the other singles who were eating at an off-time, more often by themselves or with one other person, rather than in an impenetrable tight group.
Although my Penn experience turned out to be one of the more social times of my life, that was not the case for everyone. I met students while in college and Penn grads later in life who hadn’t made good friends there – just didn’t share interests or values with the typical Penn types.
Good luck – I hope some of this helps.
I live in Harrison College House, which does try to promote community through various social events, but the few that I’ve attended have had pretty low attendance or just people coming to hang out with their friends. Most people don’t seem to rely on College House events for meeting people. My own hall isn’t close. My roommates are my friends (from freshman year), but I’m trying to branch out.
Working a job is a good idea. I was in engineering the first year (transferring now), so I didn’t think I’d have the time to work during the year, but now I might. I’ve thought about trying to work at a restaurant or bar on campus in order to meet people.
Study groups are another good idea, although this semester I’m not really in any classes which are possible to group study for (a lot of individual assignments). I’ll definitely try that in the future. The dining halls aren’t really an option since most people get off of the meal plan after freshman year.
I still plan on using clubs as a primary means to meet people, but a job and study groups could be helpful too. Thanks for your advice!