<p>Sure all kids need some down time but most I know (including my own 2 kids) manage to work and still have free time. We're not talking about a full-time job here. The OP said part-time. If I were the OP I would look hard at how much "meager" allowance plus gas money I'm giving him each week plus paying car insurance. I pay my kids' insurance but gas and spending money is on them. With the high cost of gas these days, it can really add up. Kids drive less if they have to put the $$$ in the tank. Op never says if kid even does anything to help out around the house to somewhat earn what is handed out to him. I agree with the poster who said excelling at school is a whole different kind of work ethic than working for somebody else at a job.</p>
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When you have a Masters, a JD, a PhD or an MD no one bothers with jobs you had when you were 16.
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<p>However, the skills learned having that job at 16 could be a spring board for you to obtain that Masters, JD, MD or PhD especially for kids looking to pursue these things straight out of undergrad.</p>
<p>Op states...</p>
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I'm worried that because we have provided so much for him.....meager spending money, gas money for car (he paid for 1/2 of car by saving birthday money, etc.....for many years); insurance, etc
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<p>To me this sounds she may want him to be more of a stakeholder and the problem with this is???? I think it is great that there are so many parents who don't want their kids to work because school and their ECs are their jobs however, there are many families that don't have the luxury to choose and guess what these kids still manage to hold it down an take care of business.</p>
<p>Son's car doesn't run on vapors, so even if the family can "afford" to pay for gas, spending money, etc, in the real world very few people are literally going to hand your kids everything.</p>
<p>Blossom, </p>
<p>I do think that your posting was on point. Regardless of your socioeconomic status, unless one plans on spending the rest of their life living on the family dime, one day they are going to have to go out into the world of work. There is a lot to be learned from holding down a job; time management skills, building interpersonal relationships to name a few. </p>
<p>I also agree with jmmom, that if OP has stated that son needs to get a summer job, and he doesn't feel the need to get moving on obtaining one, then he has made a conscious decision that he will take what ever comes his way, because when he had the opportunity to choose and refuse he let it slip away.</p>
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It seems from your subsequent post (#83) that your real concern is the entitlement issue. </p>
<p>I am with you. Kids who tell parents they are "lucky" they have a kid who performs academically and does not drink or use drugs do not realize how "lucky" they themselves are (to have, for example, a caring, nurturing family, good educational opportunities, etc.)</p>
<p>This is a symptom of the narcissism/affluenza I see in kids in our area. They have a "skewed" vision of reality and their place in the universe. </p>
<p>IMO kids who hold jobs in high school get a whole different education --and are exposed to the concept that top grades/SAT scores matter very little in many areas of life. </p>
<p>One the other hand, I am very opposed to kids being "over scheduled." We have been lucky in that both our kids were able to have very minimal part-time jobs junior and senior years in high school. D worked Saturday mornings and S works 3-4 hours on Saturday afternoons. They made clear to their employers they could not work during the school week. Each could ask for a weekend off whenever they had a conflict or time pressure. With each kid, these were minimal school-year continuations of summer job experiences. </p>
<p>Each of our kids was well able to participate in many intense EC activities and maintain a heavy academic load.
For my S in particular, his work world is a refreshing and enjoyable different scene.</p>
<p>By the way, I have done some college admissions counseling, and even looking at it from the often-too-crazed perspective of elite college admissions, the truth is that adcoms see more than enough of privileged kids who have spent their summers in enrichment experiences.
The resume of a kid who has worked in a hardware store or a bakery - and clearly learned from the experience - is actually likely to garner some extra consideration. This is NOT why I recommend it, I am just making the point that it certainly does not work against the kid.</p>
<p>You have a good kid who has done an excellent job with academics and staying out of trouble. That does not mean you can't expect more of him/encourage other areas of growth.</p>
<p>Wow, there is such a wide spectrum of opinions.....thanks for them all. </p>
<p>Just a tad more info. </p>
<p>MY H and I have always been of the same opinion as many who have posted here....our kids jobs are to work hard in school....period. But, now that his Senior year is winding down, and I see some "extra" free time that I really had never seen before, I think it is time for a part-time job.....5-10 hours a week until school is out would be perfectly fine.</p>
<p>We put the gas in our S tank because he helps me out a great deal with driving the other kids. He jokingly refers to himself as a "soccer mom" :) We live a fair distance from school (our school does not have buses) so he takes 2 of his siblings everyday, sometimes takes or picks up from various after school activities, etc.....</p>
<p>We give him $20 a week.....these days I think that is not very much, maybe I'm wrong. He does do his chores around the house weekly (normal stuff like recycling, garbage, dishwasher, sweeping) but that has always been a part of our kid's role in the family.....you live here, you help out!</p>
<p>He really is a wonderful guy....I just don't have a proper perspective on what is "normal" for a kid like him, because he is our oldest. Thus, I truly questioned whether I was being unreasonable.</p>
<p>Thanks again for all of your personal perspectives!</p>
<p>Thanks for your update momof4.<br>
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He jokingly refers to himself as a "soccer mom"
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^^^lol^^^
Sounds like you son has a very good sense of humor, in addition to his other wonderful traits. I know you're very proud of him!!! :) </p>
<p>I had posted earlier about my son starting a part-time job last year (during the second semester of his senior year, and it seems so long ago now). After working for a month, he thanked us for urging him to find a job, (that made us feel great)!! For so many, if not all of the reasons, other parents and working kids have already have already described, he loved his part-time job. Best of luck to your son, and I hope he finds a part-time job that fits his schedule.</p>
<p>PackMom, it still depends: if a student is involved in an EC 12-20 hours a week while taking a heavy load of classes, I don't know where the hours for a job would come from. Is the experience one has from holding down a job a good thing? Yes. Is holding down a job a sign of moral virtue or the lack of a job a sign of moral sloth? No. </p>
<p>Whether or not it's reasonable for a student to hold down a job depends on circumstances. I know lots of student for whom holding down a job would be no big deal and would be a good thing. I also know lots of students for whom holding down a job would be utterly impossible without compromising either their academics or an EC that is a major part of their lives.</p>
<p>If a PARENT thinks their offspring is sitting around and doing nothing, they probably are, and that is what the OP has said....so its not tons of ECs, nor is it an overload of academics....</p>
<p>TheDad, Not making moral judgements. Every situation is different and every family has to treat it however they see fit. Just responding to the OP's question from my own experience with kids working in h.s. She said she had no experience with this and was looking for the thoughts of others. </p>
<p>Football is a major part of S2's life. He is a varsity player. During the season ( July through early Nov.) he estimates he spends 18-20 hours a week (Mon-Fri) at football. During this time, he works on Sunday afternoons only. When football is over he takes on another couple of days a week. He doesn't have other time consuming EC's. He actually manages his time better during football season. Again, not making judgements, just sharing experience about how it can be done</p>
<p>As you say, it depends on the kid.</p>