<p>Perhaps the girls are doing you a favor. D1 will do her college searching Jr year, leaving you free to look at colleges summer/fall of Sr year with D2! Then you don't have to look for schools for both at the same time!</p>
<p>(OK, kids make us batty, I'm just trying to put a good spin on it).</p>
<p>Seriously, I wouldn't worry unless it gets to next summer and D2 is still dragging her feet. Let D1 take the lead, D2 will probably hear enough about it around the house and eventually come around. It sounds like they may be interested in different types of schools anyway (regardless of "prestige") so you may have to conduct two completely separate searches.</p>
<p>My son only looked at small top-40 LACs. His younger sister refuses to consider any school that "only people looking for colleges have heard of," in other words she wants the big-school big-sports experience. So we'll be starting from scratch with her!</p>
<p>c'mon, folks. The OP did not write asking for a critique of her overall parenting skills for the last 17 years. She asked for help on one specific issue. </p>
<p>Let's lay off.</p>
<p>I would hate to open myself up for such group scrutiny and criticism, and I'll bet that is not what she was looking for here.</p>
<p>Historymom,
I just finished the process with the last of 3. None of mine were ready before October/November of Junior year to even talk about visits.
I did have to push #3 to agree to travel dates cause she wanted to see schools in warmer climates and that required arranging flights.</p>
<p>I think Lafalum has the right idea, follow #1's lead for now. You can start worrying about #2 around spring break. I'll bet she'll be more agreeable by then after the PSAT results send the deluge if viewbooks to your mailbox.</p>
<p>People go about the college search differently, even siblings, even twins. </p>
<p>Personally, I loved looking at all the websites and literature, the stunning buildings, the amazing campuses, it was so exciting to think of where I could go and all the possibilities. On the other hand, my brother, who is 2 years older, seemingly announced his prefered choice from the air. I have no idea how he rounded out his list. When I was applying, I asked him which other schools he applied to and he said "Stanford, and wherever, dunno" It just never enthused him. </p>
<p>So I wouldn't worry. It's still a while away for your twins, and they will most likely both get there in the end, just as my brother and I did, albeit by different routes. I think you just need to keep an open mind with them. D1's way is no more right than D2's way. It may be the right way for D1, and it may be the way you would do it, but it doesn't mean D2's way is wrong or inevitably leading to disaster. It may actually be doing you a favor, since if they do separate searches at different times, D2 might not feel she has to look at the same schools D1 is looking at, regardless of her chances of getting in.</p>
<p>history mom, you're doing fine. Sounds as if you have a clear sense of who each girl is, and want them to find their own path. And meanwhile, you're trying to negotiate that tighrope between too much involvement and not enough guidance. Hard enough on it's own, and far more difficult when you have kids who want and need totally different things from you right now. </p>
<p>Is there any way you could split the two of them a bit more in this college search, to avoid any difficult comparions for the one who is not as motivated? There has to be a little shame there, and she may be opting out in response to that shame. Or fear of leaving home, as you suggest. And then there's that twin thing of trying hard to self identify by doing things differently from your sister. </p>
<p>"Any advice is appreciated. My main worry is that she will fail to explore her options and that they will therefore be lost to her. Thanks!"</p>
<p>As suggested by tli83 above, some choose to explore very few options, and are quite happy with that way of doing things. My twins, while both motivated in the college search arena, have many friends, top students, who had no interest in anything but our flagship state university. Good place, price is right, so why not? Or perhaps she'll warm to the search later, and closer to home.</p>
<p>My advice is to examine your judgments regarding success. Your posts suggest that you are naturally more impressed with the Driven Daughter but I am sure, with reflection, you would be able to articulate the impressive qualities of the Ostrich Daughter. </p>
<p>Early success has as many danger spots as sweet spots. It's not a guarantee of happiness. I think if your Ostrich Daughter hears you express your confidence in a clearly articulated manner, she will find her niche in the college admissions process. She will find her people.</p>
<p>My guess is that D1 is the older one and D2 was born second. When twins are born hospitals name them Twin A and Twin B while they are in the nursery, based upon birth order. </p>
<p>I wouldn't read anything into the way HistoryMom has referred to her girls. Give her a break!</p>
<p>These girls are not light years apart in their abilities based upon a few tenths of a point. One is ready to do research now; one is not. </p>
<p>I think it's clear to most of us here that the OP is not expressing any favoritism, just expressing the differing situations of her two D's, and looking for help in supporting each in a positive, appropriate way.</p>
<p>My neices are twins, and both are smart, hardworking, delightful young ladies. Their gifts and interests are very different, and I know it's always been a huge job for their parents to be sure each gets the right parenting, and that each is seen as an individual. Comparisons are inevitable, especially from outsiders, but also from the girls themselves. They know who has higher test scores, who is more successful with her instrument or her sport, who struggles with which challenging class. I am so impressed with their parents for how well they've honored each girl's individuality. They are also starting their junior year, and it will be interseting for me to see how their college searches play out.</p>
<p>I don't have anything to add to the excellent advice you've gotten here, historymom, but just know that most readers are not reading any "favoritism" claims here. (If you really felt some, you wouldn't need to bother with this post in the first place, now would you? :))</p>
<p>I recently ran into the Mom of twins who recently went through this with her D's. In the end one of the girls came to her Mom and said I am not ready to leave home yet. Last fall one of the twins headed off to college 3 states away and the other lived at home and went to the community college. In terms of academics and interests the girls were similar.
Not everyone is ready to go away right after high school. I would encourage her to at least think about it and look with an open mind. You can stress that it is wonderful to have options. And also to know that everyone has different needs and goals. It is possible that even if she is capable she does not want or need a highly competitive college.</p>
<p>Disclaimer - I am not a parent of twins. However, I've just gone through the process with my d. I can tell you that only a handful of kids are interested in the college search at the beginning of junior year. My d didn't want to hear about college except to prepare for the necessary testing (SAT & ACT). The guidance counselors don't even meet with the juniors until mid January, and that's in a big assembly. Individual meetings don't start until after February vacation. And this is a school that sends lots of kids to all the top schools, including the Ivies.</p>
<p>Remember too how really stressful this time is. My d hated it. It's the first time in their lives (for those in public school, at least) that they have to think about what they want and need, and there is of course the potential for massive rejection. She was excited about the previous transitions (elementary to middle to high school) because there were no decisions to make, and she knew where she was going.</p>
<p>We didn't visit colleges until February break, and then only 2. Other visits were during April break, but only because I insisted and arranged them! (I also tried to arrange some "fun stuff" during that trip!)</p>
<p>And d did really well with her outcomes and is excited to be going off to school in a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>I guess what I'm saying is that your D2 is actually the more typical high school junior, and it's your D1 who's unusual! So while I have no advice on how to handle each individually, I would say that there's nothing to worry about with D2.</p>