<p>I don't know what to say about how to manage yourself as a mom. I think we're all doing it "hit or miss". It really depends on the kid.</p>
<p>My son never really told me much on his own. But, if I asked, he would chat away about this or that. This might seem odd, but there were things I didn't know about him until I saw them on his college ap. i.e. he's a letterman in two varity sports? I learned he had run for and was elected to lead his senior class (this involved campaign, speeches, etc) I found out after the election was over and he had won - but still didn't know right away - it was like "oh, mom, by the way....". It sounds as if you just have an independent younger daughter. Other moms on CC have said similar things about their daughters, where the older one is very open, responsible, etc. SoozieVT comes to mind - one of her daughters is 16 and the other is a freshman in college. </p>
<p>I think your D, being in 10th grade, is probably at the top of the difficult-age scale. It seems that teens improve as they move to the end of 11th and into 12 grade. They mature and their hormones seem to stabilize a bit. Thus, this could improve quite a bit before you and she really need to make serious decisions about college. </p>
<p>If she's only casually interested in fashion/beauty you might be safe to assume that this is just something she tossed out at you. It's probably too soon to determine what she wants to do. Most of the seniors don't even know what they want to do - and that's fine and very normal. Rather than focusing on what she wants to do as a career, why not focus on what type of student she is. What motivates her? In what environment is she comfortable? </p>
<p>Anyway, don't push. She's too young for you to try to get her to worry about anything college related. She sounds like a good student. Figure out what's working for her and follow it through to see if she makes any shifts in her learning style over the next year. </p>
<p>Ask her what she likes about her school. (don't say anything about college) Just ask "do you like your school?" - see what she says (I suspect she'll say "yeah" and look for her ipod so you can't ask her anymore "stupid" questions...lol). Then ask her what she likes about it. This will give you some insight into what's important for her with regard to her learning enviroment. </p>
<p>Aside from college, which doesn't seem to be your main point here, I think you should remind yourself that if you smother her and don't let her make mistakes, she'll be in a world of trouble come senior year with college around the corner. </p>
<p>Do you want her to learn these hard lessons while under your roof, or when she's 1500 miles away at college? But, I return to my earlier point, it's a little soon to back off. At this stage, you're still teaching the lessons, not testing them. What sort of smothering do you think you're doing? Who says you're smothering? </p>
<p>I'm at the testing stage (son is a senior). His car inspection stickers expired on 3/1. He continues to promise that he'll get his inspection done - and he continues to slip the date. When he gets a ticket, he'll pay for it. If the car gets confiscated, that's it, no more car. </p>
<p>A little anecdote on fashion design:
My d, age 7, was riding in the car with me earlier this year. She told me she wanted to make clothes when she grows up. I said" Oh, like a fashion designer"? She said yes. I had visions of Versace gowns and my D creating couture in Paris. I happily started to explain what little I know about fashion design. She stopped me and said "no, I don't want to draw the clothes, I want to cut and sew them!!" In my deflated voice I said "so, you want to be a cutter and sewer?". "YES!" she said happily - "a cutter and sewer".</p>