<p>Hello! Before I drop a massive question on you, I must warn you I am here for reassurance. I'm a nervous person who's often afraid, and while I'm decisive, big decisions like... my college future... often cause me to get quite flustered.</p>
<p>I am the son of two teachers, the cousin of teachers, the nephew of teachers, the grand-child of teachers... Since I was a young boy I've had my heart set on being a secondary-teacher. But what subject!?!?! I've had high marks on AP Exams and subjects ranging from English to Microeconomics. (With the exception of Math. ;) ) Lately I've been thinking about Music Education.</p>
<p>I'm a Junior in Highschool. I've taken a few Theory courses which resulted in B/A grades for the first course and C's for the second. I know I didn't push myself, but when I see my class mates I become scared. I've played all the Saxaphones with ease, I picked up Trombone in 2 months, and I've began to branch out to the other woodwinds and brass instruments. I can play some percussion parts and have begun taking lessons on set.</p>
<p>But I'm afraid. Why? I'm nothing special. I look to the left and I see students with scholar ships that are amazing that do what I do only better. To the right- kids that aren't the best performers but have published compositions and high theory marks already in high school. I'm not exceptional at my main instrument. I'm good but only when I can keep my nerves cooled in concert. For most instruments, I'm average. Average at just about every instrument I pick up. I'm average at composition...</p>
<p>However, I've TA'd a bit in Highschool and have taught fellow students their parts in the underclassmen band (before I was even playing their instruments). I've been told I'm a great teacher. I've taught History and Tennis at-well, and no matter the subject I've yielded success. I'm just afraid because as a performer, alone, I've never been exceptional at playing. Baritone, Tenor Sax, Trombone, and even Tuba parts were easy to sight-read, but for most of that crazy college level jazz I was always behind the section leader considerably.</p>
<p>The truth may be harsh, but bring it on. I need to know whether I'll make it. I rather teach History than waste 2 years in college only to find out I'm not music major material.</p>
<p>I feel if I work hard I could, but I'm afraid. I'm truly scared in making this decision. I thank you for reading this horribly written wall of text and considering a reply. I don't mean to sound like I want attention, but I just need reassurance before making this large decision.</p>
<p>Thanks-
Insanitee</p>