<p>Do you guys have any tips for the Amherst supplement. It is to respond to one of five quotes in 300 words maximum in a way that tells them something about youself.</p>
<p>Thanks</p>
<p>You might want to list the prompts if you’re hoping for a better response lol</p>
<p>Here is what I wrote (rough/first draft)</p>
<p>The quote I chose to respond to was: </p>
<p>“Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted.”</p>
<p>and my response: </p>
<p>Difficulty should never discourage one from a task. In fact, achievement is most satisfactory the longer it takes or the more difficult it is to accomplish. I place high value on achievement and on crossing the finish line. I believe that I must always finish what I have started. For example, I have been playing golf for almost two years now. I used to play baseball, lacrosse, and basketball, but when I picked up a golf club and found it to be the most difficult of sports, I became totally fixated on and obsessed with it. At first, I whiffed on almost every swing, and when I did make contact, the ball would sadly roll a few feet in front of me. I would look to my left and right and watch other golfers hit the ball so straight and far. How could I quit? I had to be able to hit the ball like he did. After my first six months of playing golf, I couldnt shoot lower than 110. At the end of this summer, I played in a huge golf tournament and shot a 73, my best round in competitive golf. Numerically viewing my improvements was a surreal experience. As soon as I signed my scorecard and saw the number 73 written next to my name on the scoreboard, I felt unfamiliar delight. Although I only placed 10th, I knew that I had really won because of those two years of hard work and continual improvement. That being said, in golf, as in life, there is no finish line. Being a golfer is like running on a treadmill with the red line just out of reach. I will always strive to improve every part of my game. Even the best golfers in the world frequently talk about their desire to improve certain aspects of their game. This means that now, I must work even harder to continue to advance my skills. I definitely do agree with the statement that satisfaction definitely varies with the difficulty of the achievement, but improvement is far more important than accomplishment. I can always improve in everything I do, and so can everybody else. A friend of mine, who is an inspirational speaker says, The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. The ability to recognize room for further development and the passion to not shy away from it is the most valuable skill to me.</p>
<p>Any criticisms or suggestions?</p>
<p>Josh, don’t post the whole essay! Don’t make it easy for someone to id you. Some schools routinely review their own forums here.</p>
<p>IMO, all essays are a chance to reveal what a great match you are for this college. Adcoms want a read on how you think and operate and how intellectually prepared you are. They will look at how you choose to respond to the prompt, what you say, and how well you write it, for these clues.</p>
<p>“…tells them something about yourself” does not necessarily mean relate a tale about something in your life. IMO, they did not prompt, tell us about an event or activity in your life where your achievement was more satisfying because of the difficulties. IMO. Just think about that as you review your answer to the prompt.</p>
<p>I see in another post that you are a golf recruit. So, I feel unqualfied to comment.</p>
<p>Maybe you should pick a prompt that tells the adcoms something they don’t know about you yet. That you are a golf recruit and an athlete is something they already know. Your example is one that would be expected from you. While it is well written and I especially like the quote about room for improvement, it doesn’t really tell an adcom something they wouldn’t be able to tell from your application. These essays are opportunities for you to tell adcoms something about you that you haven’t already shown in your application.</p>
<p>Yeah I’d make your essay a personal statement and not an argumentitive piece DIRECTLY relating to the prompt, ya know?</p>
<p>yeah they say it is not supposed to directly relate to the prompt on the application so you may want to change your first sentence and your lead in…
also i am being recruited for a sport too and the coach told me to NOT write about athletics AT ALL because they already know you are an athlete and this essay is to show the school something more about yourself that may set you apart and make you unique. Not just another athlete.</p>
<p>Thanks guys. Was just looking for some overall ideas about how to approach supplemental essays in general, as I had been thinking about the big common app essay for a long time, but hadn’t thought as much about supplementals yet. I realize it might look weird to post a very rough draft but I just banged it out to get my initial thoughts going. I’ve since talked to my counselor and others about supplemental essays and now have a much better sense of how to think about them. I’ve now got a totally different idea and approach in mind which I feel good about. Thanks again.</p>
<p>Its very well written. Needs a little polishing. And don’t associate it personally. You already have the CA essay for that.</p>
<p>^^ Sorry, that is NOT a very good essay.</p>
<p>WasatchWriter, this thread is 4 years old</p>