An identity essay centered on coming to Christ?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
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<p>I've looked through the cc forums (and some other college advice sites) a bit to get an idea of opinions regarding writing a "religious" essay for college apps. The general consensus seems to be overwhelmingly negative; most people say "it's safer not to do it"; occasionally there's a "do it if you want, but be careful to be open-minded / non-offensive." On a thread titled "List of Unoriginal Common App Essays," I saw the listing</p>

<p>"15) Why religion is the most important thing in my life."
Which got a response basically saying if it's not a religious college, "religion and any controversial topic shouldn't be written about."
To this I gave the reply:


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<p>Now, here's the issue: Prompt #1 says
"Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."</p>

<p>It's impossible for me to deny that coming to Christ is the turning point in my life. It is the only thing that truly explains my purpose in life, my willingness to work hard, my turning away from useless things / terrible habits, etc. My life, quite honestly, does not make sense, and rings audibly empty, unless one views it through the work of Christ.</p>

<p>I'm guessing I've already annoyed many of you (thanks for continuing to read! :) ), and I will not deny that an essay centered on Christ, no matter how important it is in explaining my identity, will likely also annoy some college admissions officers. And in my view this goes beyond the issue of "religion;" the Gospel of Jesus Christ is inherently offensive, because it challenges people and requires either action or rejection.</p>

<p>Sure, I can compose a well-written essay on how wonderful math really is or how important perseverance is, etc. etc. (and indeed I probably will, for various supplementals and whatnot), but it seems absurd that I should have to avoid the topic at the center of my life, when it truly forms the identity without the explanation of which my application would be horribly incomplete, for fear that adcoms will get "offended." If it really does come down to change the topic or get rejected, I guess it becomes an issue of which way ultimately brings more glory to God.</p>

<p>So... what do you think? It's fine if you're angry at me and tell me I'm being irrational and whatnot, if that's what you really think. Please give your thoughts, advice, feedback, etc. I'm especially interested in the reactions of non-Christians to my post.
I certainly do not mean to offend anyone, at least not by anything besides my affirmation of the Gospel.</p>

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<p>Just a note: You might notice that I used “Christ” many times rather than “God”; this is in part because I think it matters for this issue that I’m not contemplating just writing something like “I realized God created all of this, and I want to be a great designer/architect/mathematician just like him.” I mean to express “I realized God loved me so much that he DIED for me to reconcile me to him.” This eliminates most of the neutrality people might otherwise be able to maintain.</p>

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<p>I’m not Christian, but I live in a very heavily Christian area, so I may not be the best person to offer an opinion. For me, as long as a person is expressing a heartfelt belief in a context appropriate for expressing heartfelt beliefs, I don’t find the expression offensive. Unless you’re coming at it from the perspective of, “and your life is meaningless without Jesus, too,” I really don’t see anything annoying or offensive about anything you’ve expressed above - and you managed to not come across that way here, so presumably will in your essay.</p>

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<p>I’m not sure whether it would be a great essay topic or not, but here’s one thing I would do if I were you:
Look over your post. It sounds like you assume that we all believe what you believe. You say Christ and God like you are talking to somebody who feels the same way you do about them. Like I know you believe that everything in Christianity is true and that everything does happen that the Bible says happens, and that’s great. But some people don’t, and you have to make sure to not say that their beliefs aren’t so great. It comes off a bit preachy (just a tiny bit), especially to somebody (in this case, me) who spends every day being preached at and being treated like they are Christian even though they aren’t. IF you write about your religion, be sure to make it sound like an essay, not a sermon, because this sounded like a summary of what the sermon was at my family’s church today (yes I still go to church- I either go or don’t live with my parents anymore). You never know what experiences people have had, including the reader of your essay, and so they may have had a really bad experience with your religion. I personally wouldn’t have a problem reading an essay about you becoming a Christian as long as you made sure it didn’t sound like anybody who isn’t is wrong. But I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not, honestly- I’m still only a high school junior so I haven’t really seen what happens with these kinds of essays.</p>

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<p>Exercise: Rewrite this post with “Allah” instead of God/Jesus/Christ and “Qu’ran” instead of “Gospel” and see if you would be bothered by it.</p>

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<p>As a non-Christian, I get the idea that you think my entire life and worldview is invalid. And maybe you do, but that kind of xenophobia isn’t going to get you into colleges. When you say “Christ died on the cross for me,” you are making a polarizing claim by which many would be offended. There are times when it’s good to be polarizing and offensive (so long as rights aren’t violated), but this isn’t one of them. </p>

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<p>And here it just sounds like you have a persecution complex. </p>

<p>Try to write about religion as it affects you personally, without making too many objective claims about the nature of metaphysical reality. (Technically this is impossible, but you should try to keep the focus on yourself rather than your beliefs.)</p>

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<p>You’ve gotten good advice above.</p>

<p>Let me also add that, like every other strong Common App essay, you should start by showing not telling. Begin with a story that makes your point and then you can go to the broader point about the importance of religion in your life. This will vastly reduce the likelihood that this comes off as a sermon.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the advice! I guess I’ll just have to type a few drafts and see what results.</p>

<p>Yes, I will make sure that it’s personal, show-not-tell, etc. The essay will probably reflect a center / background similar to that of the post, but will of course have different thematic foci (e.g. what I was like before, what changes occurred, how my worldview is changed by the Gospel, etc.). It will, of course, be not a theological treatise, a confession, or a statement of faith, but rather more like a testimony.</p>

<p>I didn’t think I was talking about Christ as if to people who felt the same way as I do… in fact, I wrote the original post with non-believers specifically in mind.</p>

<p>As for xenophobia… since the center of the essay is about coming to Christ, I don’t quite see why that impression would result. And,

this is the center of the Gospel, the fact that allows the transformation in my life… But I see what you mean. Of course I won’t declare it in a way that suggests “If you don’t accept this, you’re deluded,” but rather, “I personally came to this realization.”
(Also, the Gospel / Qu’ran exercise would cause some issues due to asymmetry, partly because I mean the Gospel as the statement of an event, not an entire text, and the God / Allah exercise would not make sense in my second post. But I do see what you mean [and I notice my own lack of clarity in the original post], and if I end up writing about this I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t get to the uncomfortable level.)</p>

<p>Ultimately, I guess I was not thinking about this as “Will this be an essay that college admissions officers really enjoy?”, but “Does this essay reveal more of who I am in a way that outweighs the slight discomfort it may bring to some admissions officers?”</p>

<p>I realize the original post was declaration-heavy; this was to express the key issue/problem in writing on this topic more clearly, though I may not have succeeded in this endeavor. The essay will be much more personal. The Gospel will be stated once (not as an independent claim but within something like an “I discovered that the Gospel meant…”), adoption may be stated once (“I realized that in place of a human father, God has taken me as his son…” but with better grammar), and probably not much more theology. I guess it’s hard to get the essence of what I’m thinking about through without actually outlining the life events I would talk about, so sorry if this confused/annoyed/saddened/discomforted/angered/frustrated anyone.</p>

<p>I guess one thing I would like to get clarified through this thread is: I have the impression that through the essay colleges are looking to see more of who we are, what our goals are, etc. If the Gospel and my reaction it do really form the center and best characterization of this, is it acceptable to display it in spite of potential discomfort / offense? Is giving them the second best (say, math), or just the projection of this center onto some specific dimension (talking about the visible results of my transformation without giving the cause), not concealment of who I really am?</p>

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<p>Anything on religion should be avoided. Period.</p>

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<p>DH used to read essays. One of the biggest problems with religion essays in his mind (and we’re religious), is they just don’t tell a story that differentiates the writer. I understand how central this event is in your life, but after reading SO many essays about finding Christ, they all start to sound alike and may not get read as deeply as you would like.</p>

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<p>I am a reader. Here’s the deal: kids look at the prompts and assume this is a chance to write something, anything-- much the same as when your hs teacher gives an open-ended topic. </p>

<p>But, this is your college app, not an ordinary expression of self. Not your hs teacher, who knows you. What you write isn’t supposed to just let them know “I believe this” or “I like that” or “religion is the most important thing in my life.”</p>

<p>College is a time of exploration. The more selective the college, the more they need to see your openness, how you approach a challenge and are resilient, flexible, curious and willing to approach new ideas. </p>

<p>Ask yourself if what you personally believe and how you prioritize it- or defend it- is truly relevant for a non-religious college.</p>

<p>They need to see how you fit and will thrive there, that you have the personal attributes they seek.</p>

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<p>That might offend more people than a religious essay. :D</p>

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<p>You may have had non-believers in mind, but I didn’t get the idea that you were trying to empathize with anyone who has different views than you. </p>

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<p>The idea is that you should think about someone writing this same sort of essay about a non-Christian religion…equally dogmatic, emphatic, the works. This gives you an idea of what a non-Christian perspective is like.</p>

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<p>You have to strike a balance between personal and universal. Too personal and you seem self-absorbed. Too universal and you end up being generic. You have to tell a story about yourself while still showing that you can empathize with others. </p>

<p>Christianity is connected with:

  1. Traditions
  2. History and historical figures
  3. Art/music
  4. Community
  5. Questions about the meaning of life, the purpose of human existence, etc.</p>

<p>Everyone can relate to these things. If you focus on this kind of stuff rather than on specific doctrines, your essay will be more relatable and probably less likely to be offensive. </p>

<p>You need to show intellectual depth. I’m not bothered by the idea that someone could ponder the same existential questions I have pondered and come up with a different conclusion than I have. But I am bothered by people who are preachy, defensive, or seem to think they know everything. You need to show vulnerability…if you’re going to talk about your religious conversion, you need to show that you’ve struggled with questions of life and death and the meaning of it all. </p>

<p>One of the main things you will do in college is learn from others…show that you are open-minded. (Open-mindedness doesn’t mean accepting everything. It means being willing to listen.)</p>

<p>Basically, write a few drafts and get some non-Christians to tell you what they think. I’m optimistic enough to think it’s possible that this could work, but it might not.</p>

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<p>@lookingforward: I see. I guess the wording of the prompt, “Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity…”, is a bit misleading then (or else the prompt itself is a trap?). Because the essay I was thinking about writing was not just supposed to communicate what I “personally believe and how * prioritize it,” or “religion is the most important thing in my life,” but rather how the Gospel (“religion,” if you must use that word) transformed me and the way I approach challenges, disappointments, temptations, etc. I guess this isn’t quite the same as “the personal attributes they seek.” I guess you’re suggesting that the cause of the personal attributes doesn’t matter to the readers, so it should just be left out (especially if it might offend)? I understand this point, but it makes me wonder why they had this prompt in the first place.</p>

<p>@Everyone: Thanks for the suggestions! I’ll definitely still keep this essay as one possibility, but I’ll make sure to take these issues into account. Math essays may be slightly less tricky…</p>

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<p>Religion, in itself, isn’t controversial. It is the delivery that can leave issues. We do get some great essays where the kid explains how their religious principles guided them through some events or led them to some positive action or sincere efforts to make things better, etc. </p>

<p>This is different than a statement or testimony. Or delving into who you are and how Christ is central in your life. They don’t need the tale of your “coming to Christ.” They need to glean how you will, so to say, “come to this U.” </p>

<p>It is important to you, I understand and would never deny you that. But this is a college app. Try to think of this as something other than that hs essay where you get to pick a topic of interest and delve into it, where your teacher wants to see your ability to justify and write well.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t call it a trap, I’d call it a test. Hint: first test is what you choose to write about, how it reflects both your understanding of what they need to learn about you and your judgment in making that decision. </p>

<p>When you write, " how the Gospel…transformed me and the way I approach challenges, disappointments, temptations, etc," that is telling them, asking them to take you at your word. What examples can you show, other than saying “and now I…?” “Show, not tell” is roughly equivalent to “actions speak louder than words.”</p>